Closer To You
by Chrissy Almasy
Summary: SxS. Hunted by Garden and forsaken by Esthar, Seifer and Squall risk their love and their lives in one final stand-off, with surprising consequences...
1. Chapter 1

Haha! I'm not dead! Here it is, as promised: the sequel to _Fire Storm_. Or at least the start of it…

First of all a few notes from the author:

**Summary** – It's been six months since the war and Squall's getting used to his new life as Garden Commander. Still, something is missing. And while the new pendant around his neck symbolizes that void, it doesn't fill it. On the other side of the world, Seifer hopes to solve his guilt and his lack of a future by confronting his past, a task which is difficult enough without having to deal with his rival's unexpected reactions.

**Disclaimer -** puts up a fake French accent> Listen carefully, I shall say this only once: I don't own the characters or the world, Squaresoft does. Only the plot's mine. I don't make any money with this, and since I'm over my ears in debts as it is, please don't sue me. It's pointless anyway.

**Rating** – Nothing too serious in the first chapters, but this story will feature a male-male relationship in later chapters (hey, that's the whole purpose of this fic!) and graphic scenes are not out of the question. No like no read. Don't come complaining to me.

Like I said before, _Closer To You_ is a sequel to _Fire Storm_, but it can be read as a separate story as well.

I'm experimenting a lot with style and plots before posting anything, so updates will slow on this one. My apologies. Please let me know if the new posts are worth the wait. Your criticism, positive and negative, is valued. (Pointless flames, however, will be dealt with by Shiva as per usual.)

Many thanks to LadyTwist, who is kind enough to Beta for me!

**

* * *

Chapter 1**

The corridors were quiet. Most of Balamb Garden's residents would be in the cafeteria for dinner at this time, or in their rooms studying for the upcoming exam round. It was life as usual and after today's meeting with a particularly fussy prospective client, 'life as usual' was all Squall Leonheart wanted to deal with.

While walking down to the dorms, Squall undid the buttons of his uniform jacket. He didn't mind wearing his dress uniform on occasions: being the Commander of Balamb Garden, decorum was just another part of the job. But after a long day in a smoke-filled conference room, the outfit was ready for the dry cleaner's and he himself was in desperate need of a shower.

Rounding the last corner, he nodded to a few nervously saluting cadets. Then he reached his dorm. Leaning against the wall, he punched his access code in on the console next to the dorm's door, praying silently that the door was locked because Rinoa had gone out. After today, he really needed a few minutes to himself before facing anyone. His friends insisted that he had become so much more open and sociable, but that kind of behaviour still didn't come natural to him.

The door sprang to life. He all but let himself fall through the door opening before the sliding door shut again behind him. The small apartment was blissfully dark. That meant he had at least enough time to jump into the shower and clear his head before venturing anything else. Peeling off his uniform, he resisted the urge to kick the clothes in a corner but hung them on a coat hanger instead, ready to be sent off for cleaning as soon as he would remember to.

He closed the bathroom door behind him and let the shower run to warm up as he stripped himself from his underwear. The only thing he didn't take off was the small silver pendant around his neck, which had replaced the Griever head not long after the war against Ultimecia. He had tossed his namesake signature out the same night he'd come back to Garden after Time Compression. Knowing who and what Griever was had made the symbol lose both its appeal and its significance. But since he had this one made, he had never taken it off. His hand would sometimes reach up to feel it, almost to make sure it was still there. The action took him by surprise every time he caught himself doing that.

As he stepped in the shower, which was now nothing short of scalding, and got himself comfortable under the cascading water, he willed himself to forget today's events as well as the ones that tomorrow might bring. He squeezed an indecent amount of shampoo from the bottle and lazily washed his hair.

Soap bubbles trailed down his body, onto the tiles and into the drain. It felt pleasant and comforting, but at the same time it made him observe his body, his skin. His scars. The largest one was no doubt the ragged circle on his right shoulder, where a magic icicle had run him through. He still didn't believe he had managed to survive that one.

He let his fingers trail elsewhere, considering each scar as he touched it. Size says nothing about significance. The scar that definitely meant the most to him was the line between his eyes. To him, scars were reminders of memories he shouldn't forget, regardless of what Guardian Forces did to his mind. And Seifer Almasy was one person he never wanted to forget about.

His hand was on his pendant before he realised it. Holding the silver symbol in front of his face, he observed it closely as he had done so often. It was a small cross. Seifer's cross. Custom-made at his request by a silversmith in Dollet. He would have asked Zell to make it, knowing the martial artist's skill with metal, but that would have raised a lot of awkward questions he didn't feel like answering. No one knew he had this, let alone that he wore it all the time. Not even Rinoa knew, which was saying a lot about their love life these days...

So much had changed since the war that it was hard to believe it was the same lifetime. Although he was officially still on active duty, he was stuck behind his desk organising the missions more often than he performed them himself. Not that being the Commander of Balamb Garden gave him time for much more. Ever since Cid retired a year ago and made Xu Headmistress, he had been swamped. Not because she didn't like him, but rather because she trusted him to get things done right. Like leading today's meeting. He growled to himself. He hadn't wanted to think about that.

'Still', he thought as he closed the faucets, 'things could be worse'. He could have been made Commander of both Gardens when Balamb and Galbadia were merged into one legal entity after reconstruction. Xu had the questionable honour of heading both Gardens. But she managed, travelling from one site to the other while her local staff took care of things while she was away. Not the life he'd want to lead, should he even be suitable for the position in the first place. Leading an army was one thing. Running a school was a completely different ballgame. Besides, Xu seemed to enjoy her new job doing just that.

After drying off, Squall hoisted himself into a more comfortable outfit. The shower had been refreshing, if not quite as relaxing as he had hoped. His own fault for thinking too much when he promised himself he wouldn't. And right now he had other things to attend to. Rinoa wasn't home yet, but that could never take long now and his stomach was rumbling. Time to get a bite. Since he didn't feel like cooking himself and Rinoa hated the cafeteria food, they'd have to eat out. Searching through his coat's pockets, he found his wallet. If he was going to take her some place for dinner, it would be practical to be able to pay for it.

He was just checking if he had enough cash on him to cover a dinner for two when the dorm door opened and Rinoa hopped in. She halted, looking at her boyfriend with a mix of surprise and accusation on her face.

"Oh? Are you done up there?"

He looked at her, not sure how to behave since she was obviously less than thrilled to find him home 'early'. "At least for tonight," he finally answered. "Did you have dinner yet?"

She looked like a little girl caught with her hands in the cookie jar. "Em, yeah, kinda. I didn't think you'd be home before ten or something, so I went to the cafeteria with Selphie."

"Ah. I see."

"And we also had plans, more or less, to go out to town tonight." She chewed her lower lip. "I'm sorry?"

"No, don't be," he said, half-agitated and half-relieved. "It's not your fault, you couldn't know."

"You wanna come with us?" she asked half-heartedly.

A frown creased his forehead, knowing she rather had he didn't. He couldn't say he minded that.

"I don't think that's such a wonderful idea. I'm really tired. I'd hold out for dinner, but a night on the town is a bit much."

She nodded. "I understand. It's not easy, managing the SeeD force almost by yourself." She paused, shifting her weight nervously. "Do you want me to stay here with you?"

"If you want to. But don't let me stop you if you have plans."

A smile appeared on her face. "You're such a dear. I'll just go get my stuff, and then you can enjoy a quiet evening to yourself." She raced into the bedroom, grabbed a dress as well as a few things which she was still stuffing in her purse by the time she came out. "I'll change at Selphie's. And I'll be real quiet when I get back," she promised. Slipping into her coat, she tip-toed, gave her boyfriend a quick kiss, and then disappeared out the door, leaving Squall gazing at the walls.

"So much for eating out, then," he muttered to himself as he put his wallet back in his coat.

Enjoy a quiet evening, she said. He didn't have a problem with that, only it was a quarter past eight and there was never anything good on television on Thursday nights. He looked around the room, deciding what to do now. Go out for dinner alone? Not a good idea. After a day like today, the last thing he wanted was people breaking in on his personal time to discuss trivial business. And there was no question they would if he went for dinner in the cafeteria. Considering his other options, he remembered there was still a microwave meal in the fridge. Not the most sensible nourishment, but it beat getting hijacked by the Garden staff between bites.

That decided, he got the foil wrapped meatloaf out of the fridge and into the microwave, programmed the machine and waited for it to go 'ping'. When it did, he shoved it on a plate and started eating. He chewed the meal down without too much thought of it. Taste wasn't important, as long as he had enough sustenance to keep his energy level up. What was more important was what to do with the rest of the evening. He hadn't found a book worth reading in years -unless he counted weapon magazines-, he was never one for computer games, and he had seen Rinoa's DVDs more often than he cared for.

Having finished his meal, he shoved the plate and utensils in the sink and made himself a cup of coffee. There really wasn't anything he could think of to keep himself busy except go to his office, but that was for once not a very appealing idea. He had come to the point where he was seriously considering turning in early when someone knocked on his door.

"It's open," he called, not bothering to answer it himself.

The door slid open with a hiss, admitting the Headmistress and the Chief Instructor.

"Good evening, Commander. Sorry for the intrusion. Can we come in?"

He looked up at the two women in his doorway and arched his brows. "Of course," he replied, not ungrateful for the interruption and mildly curious about the reason Xu and Quistis came to see him at this hour. He made an inviting gesture at the couch, playing host like Rinoa had taught him.

"Coffee?"

"No, thanks."

Quistis merely shook her head in reply, allowing her superior the field.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," Xu continued, "but we need to discuss a strictly confidential situation that cannot wait. Are you alone?"

Squall frowned, but nodded. In response, both women sat down on the couch opposite of Squall.

"There is no easy way of telling this, so I'll come straight to the point." Xu paused for a moment, suddenly looking more nervous than he had ever seen her. "You see, our agents trailing our…em, _charge _in Galbadia called in an emergency."

Squall straightened in his seat. Eyes wide, he shook his head in disbelieve. "Don't tell me he…"

"No. No violence or personal injury," Quistis cut in. Squall visible relaxed.

"However," Xu continued, "the situation is serious. The agents have been discovered. What's more, he has contacted them to relay a message to Garden."

Squall paled. He took a deep breath to let the information sink in. Involuntarily, his hand went up to his chest, feeling the pendant underneath his clothes. Then he looked at the Headmistress. "What's the message?"

Both woman exchanged glances for a moment, clearly expecting a big reaction. Finally it was Quistis who answered his question.

"He wants to come back to Garden, Squall. And he said he'd be arriving tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The seven-thirty night train to Balamb City slowly pulled out of Deling Central Station and into the twilight. In the carriages, the passengers were getting settled in their compartments. Despite the fact that the aisles were crowded by people and luggage, all parted to give way to a tall man making his way through the mass, only to close behind him with whispers and hisses. The man ignored it. Having found the compartment he was looking for, he opened the door and let himself in. As he locked it behind him, the murmur of the other passengers was shut out.

With a sigh, Seifer Almasy leaned back against the door. His single compartment was small, featuring only a single seat, a luggage rack, a tiny bed and a miniature bathroom. It had cost him a small fortune, but at least it was private and he wouldn't have to venture out until he the train arrived at its destination. He knew he should be used to people reacting to him like the other passengers had just now, but crowds like this were oppressive, especially in a cramped place where he couldn't draw his weapon.

Tentatively, he ran his hand over the long black case he had with him. Hyperion. It was a miracle he ever got it back after Time Compression. Being more careful with it than he had ever been, he placed the case gently in the overhead luggage compartment. The bag containing his combat outfit and a toothbrush didn't receive the same treatment and got dumped on the bed instead.

The train picked up speed as he sat himself in the seat at the window and shifted a few times to get comfortable. He felt uneasy and unprotected wearing a simple button-down shirt and slacks instead of combat clothes, but this simply looked better than his usual outfit, even if he was still wearing his black leather gloves. Matron had always told him that you never got a second chance for a first impression, and he was pushing the limits on that one as it was.

Although technically not a first meeting, so much had changed since he last set foot in Balamb Garden that it might as well have been in another century. The people wouldn't treat him any different for it, though, so if he was going to prove he was worth re-admitting, he'd have to be very convincing about it.

Balamb Garden… Fuujin and Raijin hadn't supported his idea of going back. They said it was too dangerous to venture quite literally into the lion's den, especially considering the fact most SeeD would be more than willing to put his head on a stake. A part of him agreed with them. They had pieced him back together after he had come out of Time Compression on a stroke of luck and he owed them not to get himself killed.

But he also owed it to himself to find a way to stop the nightmares that haunted him every moment of every day. Guilt for what he had done gnawed at him. He was mature enough to accept responsibly for his actions, but that didn't change the fact that he had made some monumental errors of judgement with far-reaching consequences all around. He wasn't naïve enough to think he could ever atone for what he had done and what he was accused of, but at least he could show throat to those who mattered, like the lapdog they thought him to be.

Outside, the last few lights of the suburbs flashed and made way for the darkness of the Galbadian plains. According to his time table they would reach Timber shortly before midnight local time, which would be in another five hours. An hour's stop and then a solid eight hours on the tracks, seven of which would consist entirely of tunnel. He closed his eyes and leaned back. Tomorrow would be a chaotic and eventful day and he intended to face it well-rested.

* * *

A good hour after he first heard that Seifer Almasy would be returning to Garden, Squall took a mental distance from the intense argument that was currently going on in his living room. Understandably, Xu and Quistis were outraged about Seifer's audacious intentions. Apparently, he had notified them that he wished to re-enter the training program and make SeeD. That meant accepting him as a cadet, and possibly as an active SeeD.

Squall had already figured out for himself what the practical and political consequences would be if Seifer succeeded. 'If', or should that be 'when'? Squall knew very well that Seifer had what it took to become a SeeD if he set himself to it. He had the capabilities. All the arrogant man had lacked in the past was the right disposition. And his defeat in the Sorceress' War just might have taken care of that particular problem, too.

It was completely beyond him why, but despite being Seifer's archrival, Squall found that he didn't object to the blonde ex-Knight returning to Garden. In fact, notwithstanding personal grudges, it was a welcome opportunity in more ways than one. All he needed was the chance to convince Xu and Quistis of this as well.

And that chance presented itself soon enough. Now that the brunt of the emotions were spilled and there was room for a rational approach to the matter, Xu turned to Squall, who had added precious little to their discussion so far.

"What do you think about all this, Squall? You probably know him best, how do we deal with this?"

"Should we even take it seriously?" Quistis added almost desperately.

Squall shot his former instructor a hard look. "He is always serious about everything, Quistis. You should know that by now."

She sighed and looked away. Obviously she recalled the last time she had misjudged Seifer's intentions. A jailbreak followed by a wild chase to Timber had been the result.

"I think," Squall continued slowly, "that we should let him come back."

Both women stared at him in surprise. This was clearly not the reaction they had expected, especially not from him. It wouldn't be the first time, either, but Squall could tell from the look on their face that he'd need to explain himself on this one. Never one for talking much, he frowned. Then he shifted in his chair, making himself more comfortable before continuing.

"First off, he's got nowhere else to go," he reasoned out loud. "Society won't make it easy for him to make a living anywhere, and he never learned to be anything else but a mercenary. I think he's out of options, and that means he's got everything to lose. So it's safe to say he'll behave and be a good student."

"Student…" Xu shook her head and looked at Quistis. "Can he even still make SeeD?"

Quistis shrugged. "It's another three months before he turns twenty, so technically he still can resume the program," she admitted.

"That is not the only issue," Squall commented. "What's more important is that the Mandate of the International Court of Justice obliges us to monitor the whereabouts and activities of both Edea and Seifer. Edea isn't a problem as she lives in Garden these days. But Seifer is a lot more difficult to track. He's obviously well aware of our agents watching him, and he knows how they operate. If he really wants to, he could elude them."

Xu nodded reluctantly, seeing his point of view. "That is a risk indeed. But if he's in Garden, he's always somewhere we can see him. If he's up to no good, we'll know it before things get out of hand and we can take the necessary actions immediately."

"And if he's just out to make an honest living," Squall interjected, "Garden will gain a strong warrior."

Quistis snorted. "Ha, do you honestly think he'll be an asset to our forces?"

Squall only glared at her, his eyes affirming his opinion and almost reprimanding her for not sharing it. In turn, she kept her eyes locked on his to show her belief to his contrary.

After a few moments, Xu cut in, breaking up the silent battle of wills.

"Very well, I admit that the practical advantages, especially concerning security, outweigh the… obvious disadvantages. But only for the moment. I would have preferred to discuss this more thoroughly, especially considering the implications of this situation, but considering we've got a time constraint, I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt for now."

Squall plucked at a stray thread of his chair's stitching.

"You are the Headmistress. You could of course decide to refuse him, if that is what you prefer to do."

"And give him an extra excuse to plot against Garden once again? I won't risk that. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer and all that."

Squall merely smirked faintly. At least Xu had enough sense to know better than to make Seifer more of an enemy than he already was. The blonde could be frighteningly vengeful if he wanted to.

Quistis shifted nervously in her seat, obviously not happy with the decision her superior had made.

"So are we just going to let him walk into Balamb Garden tomorrow morning?"

"That would be a bad idea," Xu agreed. "Do we know how he's travelling?"

"The only way to cross the Balamb continent is by train. That would be the best guess."

Squall shrugged. "Then why don't the two of you meet him at the train station? Discuss terms on neutral ground."

Xu nodded in agreement. "Good point. Besides, should we reach an understanding, things are less likely to escalate if one of us escorts him here."

"The two of us?" Quistis frowned. "I think this is not only a matter for Garden as a school, but for the SeeD force as well. You should come with us, Squall."

"The confrontation will be awkward enough without me being there."

She had to admit that he had a strong point, and to her merit she did exactly that. "In that case I'll go find out when the first train from Galbadia arrives tomorrow."

That closed the discussion for now, but as Squall showed his quests out he was already wondering how much time he had bought himself by postponing the inevitable. Some time tomorrow, he would have to face Seifer. And he had no idea yet how to deal with that.

Alone again, he leaned heavily against the wall. In the living room, the clock chimed half past ten. It would be at least another three hours before Rinoa would be back. Rinoa… He decided not to tell her about the situation yet. Any lingering sympathy she might have felt for Seifer when the war just started had turned into a deep-running hatred for the man. Something to do with being fed to Adel, apparently. But in all honestly, he couldn't blame her for hating Seifer. Many people did.

He searched his own feelings, but the only thing he felt was the pendant around his neck. No, he didn't hate Seifer. He didn't like what his rival had been doing during the war, but as far as he was concerned, they had ended up on opposite sides of the fight more or less by accident and they had both acted accordingly. But history is always written by the victors.

Time, what he needed was time to sort himself out. He looked at the clock again. Twenty-five to eleven. A sinking feeling settled in his stomach and suddenly it seemed like all the time in the world wasn't going to be enough.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

At precisely 7 a.m. local time, the engine of the night train from Galbadia let out a deep, hydraulic sigh as it came to a full stop in the train station of Balamb City. Passengers poured out of the carriages like marbles from a toppled jar. Some people looked around to find their friends or relatives come to pick them up, while others immediately exited the platform in search of another form of transport.

Seifer was one of the last to get off the train. The majority of the crowd had left already by the time he set foot on the platform. As he made his way to the exit, he tried to ignore the fact that his stomach was practising summersaults and cold chills that had nothing to do with temperature were running down his spine. He couldn't remember the last time he had been this nervous, although he would never admit that to anyone but himself. If he'd had a habit of smoking, now would be a good time for a cigarette.

His state of heightened awareness didn't improve when he saw a familiar female figure standing at the bottom of the stairs leading down from the platform. He hesitated for a fraction of a second, but then casually hoisted his bag further up his shoulder and descended. The young woman eyed him intently as he approached her. He nodded in greeting.

"Instructor Trepe."

"Seifer Almasy," she replied. Her tone suggested that a longer sentence would follow, but instead she paused to observe him. Finally she met his eyes with a stern gaze. "I see you had the decency to dress up for the occasion."

His eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly at the obvious hostility of his former teacher. He wondered if it was genuine or if she was testing him. Checking himself, he didn't take the bait and opted to offer inoffensive answers until he found out.

"My request was a serious one, Instructor," he replied smoothly, leaving the implications of his words unspoken but unmistakeable.

She smiled knowingly. "I hadn't expected anything else from you, Mr Almasy."

Then she motioned him to follow her, and he obliged, resisting the urge to ask questions. Uncharacteristically even to himself, he hung back a few steps, allowing her to lead the way while he surveyed his surroundings. Many people in Balamb knew him by face and the last thing he needed now was getting cornered in some dark back alley full of people with pitchforks and a grudge. The fact that he was in the company of SeeD didn't make him feel any easier. Somehow he doubted Trepe would lift so much as a finger to help him, let alone her whip.

But their walk through town ended a whole lot sooner than he had expected. He was quite surprised to find his escort halting in front of the local hotel and motioning him to enter. His surprise obviously registered with Trepe, who raised an inquisitive brow.

"You didn't think I'd take you up to Garden just like that, did you?"

Collecting himself at lightning speed, he flashed her his most charming smile and made an inviting gesture to the hotel entrance.

"Ladies first."

"Still playing the gallant knight after everything that happened?"

"Only if you want me to, Instructor. Only if you want me to."

"Now don't pretend to go all docile on me," she smirked. "I know you better than that."

Accepting her jesting as an offer of truce, he returned the smirk. If they had been on any more friendly terms, he would have pinched her ass, too, but for now reading between the lines to determine his position would have to suffice.

The hotel lobby was almost void of people. Behind the reception desk at the front, a girl in hotel uniform and with an uninterested look on her face was doing her nails. She only glanced up every so often to see if the handful of guests under her care looked like they needed anything. Seifer noticed how she tried to hide what was undoubtedly nail polish or something as he and Quistis entered. Despite his acrobatic organs, the girl's flushed cheeks made him smirk.

"Can I help you?" she hastened to say as they passed the reception.

Quistis halted for a moment. "A cup of tea and a…" She glanced at Seifer.

"Coffee," he completed.

"And a coffee, please. We'll be over there." She made a gesture towards the far corner of the lobby.

Seifer followed her indications to a table currently in use by one of the few guests. He swallowed. Any nervous desire he might have had to make a remark about his instructor taking him to a hotel on a first date disappeared the instant he recognised the woman at the table. He had expected anyone to meet them here, including sweet Hyne himself. But not her. Not the one person who hated his guts even more than Squall Leonheart.

Damn. Getting back in Garden was going to be much tougher than he thought.

Xu Filips put down the documents she was reading when the sound of footsteps on the stone floor alerted her that her company had arrived. Seifer was well aware of how her eyes trained on him while he approached her. They didn't break eye contact until he and Quistis had seated themselves at her table.

Not a word was said, nor did anything need to be said. The situation was awkward for all of them. Xu's demeaning glare bored into him, but he tried not to give into it. His pride wouldn't let him, even if his mind told him that swallowing it all might be his best option given the circumstances. And in between that internal argument, another part of him wondered why Squall wasn't here. Surely Garden's new Headmistress wouldn't agree to meet with the Sorceress' Knight without the SeeD Commander being in on it?

It wasn't until the reception girl had brought them their drinks that said Headmistress opened her mouth for the first time since their arrival.

"Mr Almasy," she started, almost spitting his name. "Before discussing anything else, let me first make it very clear that we consider your request and the boldness with which you presented it a testimony of misconceptions of your position relating to Garden. The only reason we are here to discuss the matter is because your imminent arrival gave us no other option."

He grinned inwardly. Wouldn't you believe that that had been exactly his intention?

Xu's face was set. "This meeting is by no means a vote of confidence, but a measure to prevent this situation you have created from escalating. Are we clear on this?"

Seifer nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"Very well. Now let's not draw this out more than necessary. Please explain why we should grant your request."

Seifer took a deep breath while staring at his coffee. In the corner of his eye, he saw Quistis sipping her tea like the lady she was. Drawing courage from her apparently relaxed attitude which contrasted so strongly with the taught lips of the Headmistress from Hell, he lay down his arguments.

"It's all very basic, really. I never learned anything else but the trade of mercenary. Other jobs are out of the question, because no company will employ me once they've taken a quick look at my track record. I could set up my own business as a hit-man. I have seriously considered doing so, but being trailed myself every moment of every day kind of hampers my ability to function as such."

"Get to the point, Mr Almasy."

He raised his brows just a little, but complied anyway.

"In short, I can't do the only job I'm good at unless SeeD allows me to. Being a mercenary force itself, I estimate the chance of that happening to be exactly zero. So the only option I have of making a decent living is to join SeeD. And the only way I can do that is if I complete the Garden training. Hence my request to be readmitted to the program."

Xu's brows slowly moved to form a very wary frown. "That's it?"

"Not entirely," Seifer continued. "Garden will want something out of this as well, I take it? Look at it this way: I'd be right under your noses. No SeeD wasting their time on fulfilling the Mandate when they could be in the field doing their thing for a paying customer." He leaned forward and allowed a small smirk to tug at his lips. "Besides, my guess is you're running short on gunblade specialists with field experience, now with Leonheart stuck behind a desk all day."

The last bit was very much a bluff and perhaps a bit too bold for his own good, but the sour look on Xu's face told him he was right. They needed someone which his capabilities, although she'd probably kill herself before admitting it.

"On that subject: I have my doubts where your present abilities are concerned," she countered. "You've been out of the running for over half a year and you hold the record in failing final exams. Not exactly a recipe for success."

"I re-sat so many exams I couldn't forget the theory even if I wanted to," he retorted quickly. "And I've kept myself in perfect physical condition." That was a blatant lie, but they didn't need to know that. If he could train again without the neighbours calling the police, he'd be up to scratch in no time.

A heavy silence followed his reply. Xu and Quistis exchanged glances that he found hard to interpret. Something told him the decision to allow him back in had already been taken before he arrived. The arguments he had put forth had probably served no other purpose then to confirm what they believed to be his reason for reapplying. No matter how you put it, he was all but openly begging them to return, and they knew that, too.

The silence continued. Instinctively his hand went down to the black case beside his chair. Hyperion's presence reminded him of why he had decided to see this through: for the longest time he had considered his weapon lost, until one day it simply showed up with the Galbadian Mail's parcel service. He didn't expect a warm welcome at Garden, but he was confident that he wouldn't be received at gunpoint either. Someone had sent him his blade. Someone who would've had access to it after it got left behind in Lunatic Pandora. Someone who knew him, and who knew how much his weapon meant to him. And the only people qualifying as such were all SeeD. He glanced at Quistis. It wouldn't surprise him if at one point he'd find out she had sent it.

He snapped from his musings when Xu's voice reclaimed his attention.

"We will allow you to resume Garden's training program," she stated sharply. "But there are conditions. You will be on probation at least until your final exam. Chief Instructor Trepe will be your probation officer. You are allowed one more attempt at passing the field exam. If you fail it, you're out. If you are not considered fit to take the exam before you turn twenty, you're out. At the first sign of trouble, you're out. Any questions?"

Purely on instinct he replied: "No, ma'am."

"Good," Xu said, although her narrowing eyes told a different story. She got to her feet and glared at him. "Chief Instructor Trepe will bring you to Garden and get you reintroduced. And remember, we're watching your every move."

Still too surprised to grasp the fact that his wish got granted, he only nodded as he snapped up from his seat and stood to attention. Next to him, Quistis did the same.

Now completely ignoring her unwanted asset, Xu turned to Quistis. "I leave him in the care of the Commander and yourself. If he steps out of line, you know what to do." That said, she left without another word.

As the Headmistress' footsteps faded away, Quistis sat down again and motioned Seifer to do the same. He frowned in confusion. His heart was racing and wanted nothing more than to go back 'home', while his mind questioned what it was exactly that he had missed so badly without coming up with a decent answer. His heart's desire won the argument.

"We're not going yet?"

"You haven't touched your coffee," Quistis said patiently while picking up her tea to finish it.

Seifer shrugged. "It'll be cold by now."

"Then order another. It's only half an hour's drive to Garden and I told the Commander we wouldn't invade his office until nine."

Somewhat disappointed about the delay, he glanced up at the clock. Then it registered.

"The Commander? You're referring to Squall, right?"

Quistis only nodded, but as far as he was concerned she might as well have just driven a nine inch nail into his stomach. Still, despite the uneasiness, it brought his earlier questions to mind again.

"Didn't he have a vote in letting me back or not? I can imagine he'd have veto-ed it if…"

"He was consulted," Quistis cut in. "As for the decision to let you come back, he actually encouraged it."

"He…what?"

Quistis sighed and gave him a long look. "Squall doesn't hate you, Seifer. If he did, do you really think he would have returned Hyperion to you?"

Seifer blinked a few times. This promised to be a day full of surprises. And it was only eight o'clock in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews everyone!

I've received several questions about how Quistis feels about Seifer's return. Truth is, she isn't too sure herself at the moment. But she'll make up her mind in time

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**Chapter 4**

Slowly, Squall drifted out of his dreams and into something resembling a state of awareness. He groggily registered that the alarm clock hadn't gone off yet, so it was probably just before six.

He hadn't slept very well. He recalled waking up several times, one of which was when a very sleepy and slightly drunk Rinoa had crawled into his bed to snuggle up to his back. Too tired and too preoccupied with the morning's events, he hadn't bothered to turn around but had pretended to be asleep instead.

Rolling over onto his back, he brought his hand to his face and grunted. Next to him, Rinoa turned in her sleep. He sighed. With the possible consequences of Seifer's arrival in a few hours already milling through his mind, it was no use staying in bed and waiting for the alarm clock. So he opened his eyes and blinked against the light.

Wait a minute… Light?

He jolted up. The bedroom was bathing in the soft light of the morning sun shimmering through the curtains. On the bed stand, the alarm clock innocently displayed a red '09.24'.

"Shit!"

With the practice of a soldier, Squall jumped out of bed, washed his face and gave himself a quick shave, slid into his uniform and then ran out the door while still working on the top button of his jacket. Of all the days to oversleep, this was one when he couldn't afford it. He could only hope the negotiations between Xu and Seifer had drawn out and none of them had arrived at Garden yet.

But as soon as he stepped into his office, that hope faded instantly. Quistis stood in front of his desk, scribbling a few notes on the papers she was holding. She looked up when he came in and arched a delicate brow, probably at seeing him looking as flustered as he felt.

"You're late," she stated with a quasi-berating tone in her voice.

Collecting himself, he shrugged. "I overslept."

The blonde looked amused. "Oh? I thought you were one of those organised people who always get up at the crack of dawn, no matter what."

"I'm human, too, Quis," he reluctantly muttered through clenched teeth. Glancing around the room, he didn't find what he was expecting. "You are unaccompanied?" he asked tentatively.

It took a fraction of a second before the meaning of his question registered. "Oh, that. Yes, I am, or was until a few minutes ago", Quistis answered quickly. "The meeting went smoothly, more so than we had dared to hope. Xu's out for another appointment until this afternoon, so I brought him in by myself. But when you weren't in your office yet, I took the liberty of getting him settled in before too many people would notice him."

Squall nodded as he digested the information. "Settled?"

"In his old dorm. It hadn't been cleared it out yet, so I thought that was the best option. I ordered him to stay put while I arranged the paperwork." She held up the papers in her hands before placing them on the desk. "That's for the dorm. I'll get all the other papers to you later today, the updated application form and his schedule and all. I figured it would be best to assign him some SeeD who aren't instructors to do the assessment. He's not a normal cadet after all and…"

"Quistis?"

"…he is, eh… Yes?"

"You're rambling."

She opened her mouth to retort, but then shut it again and looked at her feet. "I'm sorry. This whole situation's got me quite nervous. Xu's assigned me as his probation officer..." She trailed off.

Squall forced a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. Just set up him up with a duty roster or something and we'll take it from there. But first fill me in on what was discussed."

The Chief Instructor gave him a short and concise summary of what happened earlier that morning, but was sure to include important details. Squall's frown deepened a notch while he listened. Xu's remark about knowing what to do in case of trouble worried him. It was her personal euphemism for the order to 'shoot to kill'. However, he doubted if Seifer was aware of that particular fact and considering the man's dislike for Garden's new Headmistress, the combination was disaster waiting to happen.

"I should have a word with him before we inform anyone else," Squall muttered when Quistis has finished. "You said he is in his dorm?"

"Number 512," she confirmed. "I'll walk with you. I've got a few things for him to sign anyway."

But Squall shook his head. "No, I want to talk to him alone. Why don't you get him some breakfast before coming down. He'll be hungry, and it gives me the time I need."

Quistis tilted her head in reluctance. "On one condition," she said. "Promise me I won't have to scrape either of you from the ceiling when I get there."

He only gave her a blank look before turning around to head for the dormitories. Although he didn't care to admit it, Quistis' remark had hit a nerve. Experience dictated that Seifer was far from harmless, even when beaten within an inch of his life. Squall considered making a detour back to his room to collect Lionheart, but then thought the better of it. Showing up at Seifer's door carrying arms was a sure invitation to a bloodbath, so equipping Shiva and Diablos would have to suffice.

Halting in front of the dorm marked '512', Squall ran a double-check of his junctions. Anything could happen the moment he entered that room, absolutely anything. For all he knew, Seifer would be waiting behind the door to blow his head off. Or the exact opposite. There was no telling what to expect, and no way to prepare for it. So with nothing to go on but his ability to improvise, he rang the door bell.

A muffled "C'min" came from the other side of the door, which then opened with a hydraulic hiss. As he stepped through the doorway, Squall caught a glimpse of a familiar figure rising to meet him. Jaw set, he proceeded into the room.

Seifer hadn't been looking at the entrance until now and obviously having expected someone else, the tall man froze when he saw his rival. There was an awkward moment in which neither man seemed to know how to react to the other's presence, but then Seifer straightened himself and raised his arm to salute.

Squall felt a flush of relief, but didn't relax just yet. Keeping his eyes trained on the blonde's face, he took two more steps further into the room and deliberately positioned himself between Seifer and the black form in his peripheral vision which he knew to be Hyperion. Thus secured, he crossed his arms before his chest.

"At ease. You're not officially a cadet yet."

The blonde obeyed the order swiftly and without a sound. After a few more seconds of silence, Squall realised that he would have to start the conversation if there was going to be one. He swiftly worked on something to say. Seifer's apparent acceptance of his rival's seniority as commanding officer made it unnecessary to pull rank, so Squall quickly decided on a more daring approach.

"Listen, Seifer," he started, deliberately using the other man's first name. "We could go all formal and pretend we don't have a history, but that would be pointless. We can't change the past, and we can't ignore it. But that doesn't mean it has to get in the way."

Curiously, Seifer didn't reply at all, except for his brow, which creased in silent question.

Taking his cue, Squall elaborated: "Making SeeD was never easy, but it'll be even harder for you. The last thing you need is a rivalry to distract you."

Now Seifer's lips pulled up in a wry smile. "You beat me," he said quietly, "and you're ridiculously senior in rank these days. As far as I'm concerned, we're not rivals anymore."

The blunt confession took Squall by surprise. He frowned, considering Seifer's words.

"Three against one aren't comparable odds," he retorted finally, "and my rank is something that I got forced down my throat. It doesn't make me better than you." He locked his eyes on Seifer's. "But yes, it does mean that you'll be taking orders from me when you become SeeD."

Seifer nodded slowly. "I know, and I accept that." He looked at his feet for a moment, but then resumed eye contact. "It may be hard to believe, but I actually respect you. Always have."

Squall cocked his head. "I guess that's mutual then."

The blonde couldn't have looked more surprised. But then his eyes narrowed. "You'd better not be fucking with me…"

Squall put his hand on his hip and glared at the ex-knight. "Hardly. Why else do you think I agreed to let you come back? It sure as hell ain't charity."

"It had better not be. I want to earn my place here."

"You'll bloody well have to, Almasy," Squall snapped sharply. "_Nothing_'s gonna come easy for you. If you want to win our trust, you'll have to work hard for it. And not everyone will be as forgiving as Quistis and me."

Bright green eyes suddenly went dull and looked away. "Do the others know I'm here?" he asked after a while.

"Not yet. But they will before long. All of Garden will, for that matter." Squall paused to observe his rival. Seifer refused to look at him, and it didn't take a genius to know why. He sighed. "I'll make an effort to get you accepted, at least by the staff. But I can only do that if you make good on the promise I'll have to make them."

"And that is?"

"That you'll follow orders and won't cause any trouble whatsoever."

Seifer's eyes flared indignantly. "So you're saying I should just let people jab at me as they please? You know they will and…"

"It's _not _a request," Squall stated forcefully. "You'll not hurt or even threaten anyone. We've got orders to act if you even think of doing so, and I don't want to be forced to actually execute those orders!"

The blonde snarled defiantly. "I can't make such a promise," he growled.

Squall felt his heart sink. Seifer was right. He might have been defeated and humbled, but he was still as proud as ever. His mind would be making a promise that his heart could never keep. The only way would be to keep the blonde's infamous temper under control. And that damn was near impossible. Or…?

"Hold up your hand."

Seifer looked puzzled at the Commander's sudden change of subject, but then obeyed hesitantly.

Squall turned up his own hand as well. A shiny, silvery orb appeared, which he then placed in Seifer's gloved palm.

Seifer stared at it for a moment. "You're giving me a Guardian Force?"

"Shiva," Squall explained. "Junction her."

The blonde man looked taken aback. "I don't think that's a good idea. Shiva and I ain't exactly compatible and I…"

"Do it."

The compelling look Squall placed on his rival left the man no room for debate. He watched in silence as Seifer glared at the orb in disgust, but then closed his eyes to allow the ice goddess to settle in his mind. The silver orb vanished and Seifer opened his eyes again, his resistance obvious.

"I hope there is a good reason you want me to junction the one GF that hurts me to use."

Squall gave a small nod. "Because of your low compatibility, she won't obey your summoning, but her presence still allows you to use magic for training. And she'll make you keep your head cool."

Seifer fought to keep his face straight, but Squall had seen the hint of defiance before it was there.

"It's either this or the door," he warned. "If you want to make this work, you'll have to swallow your pride. We both know you act without thinking when someone pushes your buttons, and they will. And when they do, Shiva will make sure that _you _don't do anything that _I _will regret."

He could see Seifer was battling himself and no doubt Shiva as well. He braced for whatever reaction would come, but that anticipation shattered when the electronic chime of the doorbell interrupted. Immediately after, the door opened.

"Breakfast and paperwork," Quistis announced as she stepped in with a tray filled with food and stacked papers.

The tension that hung in the air dissipated quickly as both men stepped down. Squall wanted nothing more but to leave and get some time to himself, but there were a few formal things that needed to be cleared up before he could.

"So, do you accept?"

The two rivals locked eyes for a fierce but short moment before Seifer turned his eyes away in silent submission. Squall, however, continued to glare at him. Seifer's relenting move was a start, but it wasn't enough.

"I know it stings, Seifer, but I am your superior officer now. It's in your own best interest to treat me as such, especially around others." He nodded his head at Quistis.

Taking the hint, the ex-knight saluted flawlessly.

"Yes, sir."

"Good. I'll leave you to Quistis now. Apparently someone's got to tell the rest of Garden that you're back."


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for the reviews, people!

This chap is the last bit of introduction, I promise. After this, all the pieces are set and we can get down to the interesting bits... Enjoy!

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**Chapter 5**

The news that Seifer Almasy was back in Garden spread like wildfire. One hour after Squall had informed the collective Garden staff about the Headmistress' decision, the corridors and classrooms were buzzing with gossip, and every exchange student who didn't know the whole history was brought up to speed before lunchtime.

The subject himself wasn't so much aware of the stories going around. He'd been ordered to stay in his room until someone would get him, and since everyone had been so explicit in pointing out the consequences of him disobeying direct orders, he stayed put. Patience had never been one of his virtues, but during the two months he'd been bedridden, he'd mastered the art well enough.

Since thinking had been his only pastime that morning, Seifer all but jumped when the door of his dorm suddenly opened and a familiar face hopped in. Recognising the girl, he felt his stomach drop to his ankles.

"Um, hi?" Selphie Tilmitt said with a careful and inquisitive smile on her face as she peaked in. "Remember me?"

Seifer resisted the urge to look away and nodded. His eye caught the bars on her collar and he saluted slowly.

"I remember you, Miss Tilmitt." More than he'd want to. Not just her, but her Garden as well. He vaguely wondered if she was always friendly to people before killing them.

But the perky brunette only chuckled. "That's good," she exclaimed happily.

Seifer kept a wary eye trained on her, but the only menacing thing about Selphie was the radiant smile that probably overexposed every photograph taken of her.

"Quisty… I mean, Instructor Trepe assigned me to help her with your assessment," she continued. "She's got too much to do as it is, so I volunteered to prepare you for the assessment tests you'll have to take for all the theory subjects."

Assessment tests. He recalled Quistis mentioning that, but right now his mind was trying to work out just why exactly the petite SeeD had volunteered for this assignment. He could think of various reasons, some of which would hurt more than others. Apparently his paranoia showed, because she suddenly eyed him intently, cocked her head and then pursed her lips.

"I don't blame you for what happened, if that's what you think," she finally said, her voice strangely solemn and sincere.

He frowned. Was he that transparent?

"Why do you think I think that?" Almost as an afterthought, he added, "…Ma'am."

She shrugged. "You just look haunted, and that's not surprising considering you're not really welcome here and all. But maybe I'm assuming too much."

Prompted by Shiva's cold mental touch, he swallowed two instinctive responses and then settled for an answer that was as dispassionate as it was honest:

"Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt."

"Of course!" she chimed. "How could I be mad at my big brother!"

He could think of a few ways, but he wisely kept those to himself. If she wanted to pretend they had known each other for years when they hadn't actually spoken to each other since the orphanage, then he wouldn't stop her.

"Aaaanyway, since you only arrived this morning, I was thinking we should just pick up some books for you in the Library first. That way you can prepare for the tests in your room where no one can bother you. You won't have actual classes, but either Quistis or me will drop by every day in case you've got questions."

"And practical training?"

"That's why the Training Centre's open during the night," she answered. "Just make sure you're stocked up on restoratives, 'cause the Doc hasn't changed her opening hours."

He took note of that, but didn't pay it much attention. If he'd had the average SeeD cadet stamina, he'd have died long before now.

Selphie hopped from one foot to the other. "But before we collect your books, let's got to the Cafeteria first. It's lunch time!"

"…the Cafeteria?"

"It's almost one and I'm hungry! Aren't you?"

He was, but that wasn't the point. "Are you sure it's a good idea, Ma'am? Things might get messy if I show up there unannounced."

She giggled. "It'll be hardly unannounced, since everyone's talking about you. And most people are just curious, not homicidal, so that's no reason to chicken out either. Now, let's go!" Her strength surprised him when she virtually dragged him to the door. It slid open, but she stopped for a moment to look him squarely in the eye.

"Before I forget: I'm ordering you not to be so formal with me while we're having lunch." She winked at him. "People calling me 'ma'am' makes me feel old."

The corridors of the Dormitory were relatively quiet, but when he followed Selphie into the central hall, the crowd of students and SeeD reacted very much like the throng on the train had: people parted to let them through, only to start whispering like mad behind his back. But the difference was that these people weren't strangers. He knew most of them both by face and by name. And they knew him from experience rather than from newspaper articles. So instead of hurrying out of sight like before, he straightened himself to his full height, almost daring the observers to make a move. Beside him, Selphie appeared to be trotting along happily, but he could see her eyes were darting around, looking for the slightest sign of trouble like a bodyguard.

The whispering behind them increased in both intensity and volume with every step they took. Seifer gritted his teeth but repressed any more obvious reactions. He knew he shouldn't let them get to him. He knew he should just ignore it. A cool, soothing whisper in his head coaxed him to do just that, but his pride wouldn't let him. Anger built up in his chest.

_Don't do that,_ a soft voice sang to him._ It's not worth your anger. Let it go. _

But he couldn't.

Just when they came up to the door to the Cafeteria, Seifer stopped in his tracks. Slowly but decidedly, he turned around and faced the crowd behind him. The murmur died. Keeping his face impassive but not shying away either, he glanced from face to face, making sure they knew he saw them. Then, one by one, the group started to break up and disperse into different directions. Satisfied with that reaction, Seifer turned back and looked at Selphie, who met his gaze.

"You handled that pretty well," the girl said sincerely. "I must admit that for a moment I was scared you'd go ballistic on them."

He shrugged. "I get this all the time. It's the staring I hate. Like I'm some sort of animal in a zoo."

Not knowing exactly how to reply, Selphie just pushed the cafeteria doors open.

As they entered the packed mess hall, Seifer tried to stay unnoticed. But being blonde and over six feet tall, he was as inconspicuous as a flashing neon-sign and it wasn't long until everyone in the room was pretending not to look at him.

"Sweet Hyne…" he grunted. "Didn't I just say how much I hate this?"

His companion nodded. "Yeah, but I'm not taking you to the Seawaves Restaurant in Balamb instead, so deal with it."

"Damn…"

She smiled. "Don't worry. I'll hold your hand when you get scared. Now let's go grab something to eat."

As it turned out, Selphie was an expert in cutting lines. Within two minutes, she'd arranged a steaming plate of spaghetti and a coffee for the both of them. "Put it on my tab," she yelled to the cashier, balancing two full trays while she staggered back to Seifer.

"I'll take that," he said as he took one of the trays off her hands.

"Thanks! Now let's find a place to sit."

That was easier said than done. They had arrived right in the middle of lunch rush hour and all tables in the cafeteria were occupied. Then Selphie spotted her friends sitting at a corner table.

"C'mon, I see a spot."

Seifer saw it, too, and forced himself to resist the urge to skip lunch altogether. He followed Selphie to the table where Quistis, Zell and the cowboy sat, telling himself that if he had survived Squall he'd probably survive the rest of the Orphanage Gang as well.

"Hey guys!" Selphie announced. "Mind if we join you? Everywhere else is full."

The reply from the table was cool to say the least. Quistis put on a pleasant smile and confirmed the invitation. The cowboy tipped his hat, but said nothing. Zell simply stuffed the last of his hotdog in his mouth, collected his tray and left the table, all the while sporting a look of pure venom on his face.

Selphie scowled at Zell's retreating back as she sat down. "Well, that was rude!"

"Squall just finished briefing everyone on the situation," Quistis explained. "Zell's not taking it very well." She glanced at Seifer. "He just needs some time to digest it. He'll come around."

Seifer shook his head. "With your permission, Instructor, I don't think he will. We were never on friendly terms to begin with."

"No matter. I still say it's childish and impolite to run off like that," Selphie snorted.

As if to change the topic of conversation, the cowboy suddenly held out his hand to Seifer.

"I don't think we were properly introduced before. Irvine Kinneas."

Seifer knew Irvine was raised by Matron along with the rest of them, but he didn't remember him very well, only the business end of his rifle. The outstretched hand was a welcome change, so he accepted it.

"Seifer Almasy. Pleased to meet you."

The cowboy leaned back, balancing his chair on its rear legs as he observed the ex-knight.

"The others told me a lot about you," he finally said. "Apparently you made quite a name for yourself, even without the Sorceress."

"You could say I was the resident bully here," Seifer replied, trying to sound casual as he started on his spaghetti. "Zell was my favourite pick. Hence his reaction just now."

"He mentioned you not being very civil to him. Although I've got to admit that the chicken-thing was a real bull's-eye."

"Irvy!"

"Well, he looks like one," Irvine shrugged quasi-apologetically at the petite brunette who was unsuccessfully trying to kick his shin. "If he's gonna wear his hair like that, he should expect some names flying his way."

Seifer paused between bites to raise a brow, but thought the better of making a comment. Judging by the warning look on Quistis' face, he'd be treading on thin ice if he did. He couldn't quite figure out how the Chief Instructor felt about him being here, anyway. This morning it had seemed that she was not opposed to having him back, but as soon as there was anyone else around there seemed to be little left of that sentiment.

After a few moments of silence, Selphie launched her own attempt to break the local cold front:

"Well, at least I'm happy you're here, Seifer. The grapevine's been dead for months, but I've heard some fabulous new rumours this morning."

"Bad news travels fast, they say…"

"There's one I've been meaning to ask you about," she continued excitedly, completely ignoring him. "It's really saucy."

He honestly didn't want to know what kind of rumours she was talking about. Life was difficult enough for him without them, and the only 'saucy' thing he was currently interested in was his spaghetti. Suppressing his annoyance, he kept his attention locked firmly on his lunch. But Selphie wouldn't be stopped.

"So tell me, is it true? Are you and Squall indeed secret lovers?"

Seifer nearly choked on his food. "What!" he hacked between coughs. "What the…! No way!"

Irvine grinned. "Well, it _would_ explain a few things."

"Like why he was so set on getting you back, for example," Quistis added, sounding almost accusingly.

Seifer shook his head. "Look, it's true that we had a lot of gunblade duels…"

Selphie whistled.

"…but they were exactly that! _No_ metaphors whatsoever!"

"Oh really? Then what about Hyperion?"

He stared at Quistis. Yes, what about Hyperion… According to her, Squall had sent it to him.

"Squall will have had his reasons. I doubt they'll have had anything to do with that tabloid story, but if it makes you feel better, I'll ask him."

"Ha, but not now!" Selphie interrupted him. "Much as I want to know details 'bout the two of you, first we're getting you some study material from the Library. You've got work to do."

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There. All set. Time to turn the heat up a bit, hehehe.

See you next time!


	6. Chapter 6

"_How could you do that! _That _son of a bitch_ murdered hundreds of innocent people!"

Squall wearily rubbed the bridge of his nose. Bawling officers he could deal with, but Rinoa going overboard in a fit of rage was a crisis in its own right. Or at least in his world it was. Which was why he had postponed telling her until he couldn't avoid it any longer. Of all the difficult conversations he had had that day, this was by far the one he had dreaded most. Although, technically, just sitting there with his girlfriend shouting obscenities at him for over half an hour hardly qualified as a conversation.

"And you're just taking in a _mass-murderer _like that!" she finished at the top of her lungs.

Squall shook his head. All of Garden must have heard her by now. Her temper had gone beyond reasoning long ago. But, he had read somewhere that bringing guns to a lover's quarrel wasn't very good for your relationship either, so he was left with no option but to keep bombarding her with common sense. For whatever good it would do.

"It was war," he told her quietly, but not hiding his irritation. "People die in war. We killed, too, remember?"

"Not like he did! He tortured you! He's evil! He's a monster! He's…"

"Your ex-boyfriend?"

His dead-pan reply stopped her for a moment, but then she shot him a venomous look. "_That _has _nothing _to do with _anything_! That was before I knew what he was, and if that summer had meant anything to him at all, he wouldn't have sacrificed me to Adel!"

Squall gritted his teeth. "We've been over this before. Seifer didn't know what he was doing."

"The Hell he did!"

Squall sighed, exasperation winning over what was left of his patience. "Be reasonable, Rin. Anyone could see he wasn't in his right mind at the time. Ultimecia fucked him up good. It wasn't his fault."

She glared incredulously at him. "That's what _you _say!" she spat, pointing an accusing finger at him. "But what makes you think he's in his right mind now? And why are you defending him anyway!" She started ticking off her fingers. "He destroyed Trabia Garden! He tried to destroy this Garden! He tried to kill all of us! And you want us to just pretend that all that never happened!" She sighed dramatically, and he could practically feel the mood swing. "Maybe you can forgive and forget, Squall, but I can't. I just can't. What you ask of me is impossible. It makes me wonder if… if you even love me anymore…"

She gazed up at him with tear-brimmed, pleading eyes, but Squall crossed his arms and looked away. This was bad acting, even for her. He hated this. Sweet and understanding as she was, she would transform in a soap opera drama queen whenever she didn't get things her way, even when she knew it never worked on him. Turning his attention back at her, he gave her a stern glare, the one he normally used on unruly students.

"I didn't forget what he did. But for political reasons it's better to have him here where we can keep an eye on him. So you better get used to having him around."

"Oh, really? Politics, huh?" Rinoa suddenly snarled, all damsel-in-distress pretences gone. "You sound just like my father! I thought you were different than him. I thought you _cared _about me! Obviously, I was wrong!" Turning her back on him, she marched into the bedroom. A few seconds later, a pillow came flying through the doorway. Then the door slid shut and locked itself from the inside.

In the silence that Rinoa left in her wake, Squall was only aware of the furious pounding of his heart. He hadn't realised until now just how angry he was. At her, at the things she had said, at the whole situation.

Her arguments weren't new, though. He'd heard them repeated countless times today, from a variety of people. And every time he'd felt angry and disappointed. His mind understood, but the rest of him couldn't comprehend why people were making such a fuss. He'd been at the receiving end of most of Seifer's attacks and if anyone had the right to hate the ex-Knight, it was him.

But he didn't. He strongly disagreed with most of Seifer's actions, and he'd been thoroughly confused when his rival had tortured him back in the D-district prison. But hate him? No, not ever.

Suddenly and without touching it, Squall found himself fully aware of his pendant burning against his skin. He had had it made as a reminder. As a filler for the void that Seifer's absence had left… It wouldn't be the first time he'd held on to an idealised image just to fill a void inside himself. The idea of 'Sis' had been a lot more appealing than Ellone eventually turned out to be. She was a sweet girl, but just a mortal girl. She wasn't the salvation he had told himself she'd be.

And now he felt the same way about Seifer. They had always been at odds. As far as he could remember, Seifer had never said anything to him that wasn't hostile. But for some reason he had this image in his head that Seifer was in fact a friend. A brother even.

He snarled at himself. _Quit it, Leonheart. He won't return your feelings. You'll just be disappointed. Again!_

Pulling his thoughts together, he considered going for a round in the Training Centre to get his head cleared up. He had just changed his uniform jacket for his leather coat and gloves when the doorbell rang. Cursing silently at the disturbance, he went to answer it anyway. His eyes widened when he recognised his visitor.

"'Evening… sir," Seifer Almasy greeted when the door opened.

Squall blinked a few times, but collected himself instantly. He noted that Seifer was in full combat outfit and, judging by the way his coat fell, armed as well. He raised a wary brow in question.

Seifer shifted from one foot to the other, looking a bit nervous.

"I know it's late, but I didn't want to leave this hanging too long." As an elaboration, the tall blonde slowly unsheathed Hyperion. "Instructor Trepe told me you were the one who sent it, and I… Well, I wanted to thank you for that…sir."

The frown appearing on Squall's face was a reaction of surprise more than anything else. Seifer? Thanking him? That was an absolute first as far as he could remember.

"You're welcome," he shrugged, not knowing what else to say. "I'd thought you'd like to have it back."

A small smile tugged at Seifer's lips. "Yeah, that I do. I'm looking forward to putting it to good use."

Opportunity knocked, and Squall couldn't pass it up.

"In that case, how 'bout a friendly spar?"

Seifer's stance grew cautious at the suggestion, but he seemed to consider.

"Tempting," he finally said, speaking slowly, "but there are rules about striking an officer, _Commander_."

"There are rules about disobeying orders as well," Squall countered quasi-casual. "And I'll make it an order if I have to."

Seifer grinned as he slung his blade onto his shoulder. "That'll be an order I don't mind following for once. You're on… sir."

Face set with determination, Squall nodded and went back inside to retrieve his weapon. Then he paced out his dorm, gesturing Seifer to follow.

Striding down the empty hallway with his old rival trailing behind him just a few steps, Squall realised that this invitation wasn't his most sensible idea. Not knowing for certain if the ex-Knight had come back to Garden for revenge, duelling with him was rash, irresponsible and possibly extremely dangerous. Then again, duelling Seifer Almasy always had been just that, and Squall knew that in his heart, he'd never want it any other way.

Once they had entered the Training Centre, he first made a quick round to clear the grounds of nasty monsters and nosey SeeD cadets. Finally, after having ordered the last pair of stragglers to vacate the premises, he halted in a clearing in the Centre's jungle.

Seifer followed him in at some distance with long, casual strides. Taking a long look around to get familiar with the arena Squall had chosen, the blonde nodded.

"You're the boss. You set the rules."

Squall nodded as he unsheathed his weapon and assumed his battle stance.

"First blood. No magic, no limit breaks."

He knew perfectly well that this proposal didn't present much of a challenge to his cocky rival, but it would do as both a test of obedience and a cover-up for the fact he hadn't had a decent training session in months. He wasn't going to go all out unless he knew he could win.

But Seifer accepted the rules without a word, replying merely by taking his usual battle stance. For a long moment, they just stood there, observing the subtle hints that betrayed the other's strengths and weaknesses. It had been a while since they'd been at opposite sides of the arena, and Squall noticed that something about Seifer had changed since they'd last seen each other. His outfit was different – most prominently, his grey trench coat had been replaced by a black leather one -, but this went deeper. It was in his body language, his face and his eyes. Squall couldn't quite get his finger on it. The only comparison that came to mind was 'experience'. But it was a disturbing kind of experience…

Squall shook himself loose from that thought and focussed on the here and now. Seifer hadn't moved yet, although that was hardly surprising. Too much initiative could easily be misinterpreted for hostility in a situation like this. So Squall took the lead and charged.

Seifer's response was sluggish, but he still parried the charge in time. The clash of metal on metal echoed against the dome ceiling of the Centre. It was a tantalising sound that Squall hadn't heard for far too long. Against his expectations, Lionheart's radiant energy coating only enhanced it. He dealt another two blows, both of which Seifer fended off, and then stepped back. A spar wasn't a spar without counterattacks. Besides, they were still only testing each other.

Taking the space Squall gave him, Seifer launched his attack, swirling full circle before bringing his blade down to strike. It was a tried move that gave his heavy blade enormous momentum, and Squall braced his parry for the impact. The blow however was not nearly as strong as it could have been. Obviously Seifer hadn't put much effort in the swing, which was slightly disappointing. Half-hearted attempts used to be unknown to the both of them. To remind his opponent of that fact, Squall struck out swiftly and suddenly.

Seifer managed to catch the attack, but barely. The blue blade came dangerously close to nicking his shoulder and the move earned Squall a snarl and a muttered curse. The message did seem to have come across, though, because Squall could see a hint of the old fire behind Seifer's green eyes when the blonde countered, this time with a lot more force than before. He blocked it, but staggered a step under the blow. Seifer had never been the fastest on the battlefield, but his strength more than made up for that.

From that point, the pace and intensity of their fight picked up quickly. Blow after blow fell and was parried, one after another. Panting and sweating, they charged at each other time after time, but never drawing blood. It was almost as if they both deliberately kept missing, not wanting the battle to end. It was as passionate a dance as ever before, and Squall could tell Seifer loved every second of it just as much as he did.

Squall for his part let the adrenaline guide him. Blood pulsed through his veins with a beat he hadn't heard since the war. Dealing or receiving the attacks, he felt more exhilarated than ever before. It was true what they said about him, that he'd only come to life in the heat of battle. And Seifer was an expert in bringing out the best in him.

Yes, he had missed this.

He had missed Seifer…

His heartbeat quickened another notch when the blonde's next attack interlocked Hyperion with Lionheart, making their fight a battle of strength. Seifer leaned into him with his full weight, pushing him backwards, their faces only inches apart from each other and their blades.

Squall resisted with all his might, but he could feel his feet slipping in the soil. Still, he pushed Lionheart back for all he was worth. If he fell now, Seifer would have him at gunpoint and that would be the end of it.

But at that moment, he felt the pressure on his blade ease a bit. Searching his opponent's face for an explanation, Squall noticed how the familiar green eyes mellowed slightly. Seifer didn't break their position, but allowed him to regain his balance.

"I propose a draw," Seifer's deep voice said quietly.

Squall frowned, but didn't object. His rival's move, no matter how unsatisfying, at least left him the dignity of not having lost. The duel was over now, but Squall didn't feel like moving. Apparently, neither did Seifer. Blades still interlocked between them, Squall met the blonde's gaze in silence.

Moment ticked by. Finally, a sad smile appeared on the Seifer's lips.

"I'm glad you survived the war," he said quietly. "I really am."

Squall observed his opponent. The shimmer of Lionheart's blade made Seifer's tanned face glow blue. The effect was alienating, but not half as much so as the air of sincerity and honest pride he sensed in his long-time rival.

"You…actually mean that, don't you?"

Seifer didn't answer, but the look in his eyes said enough. It sent Squall's mind reeling, as well as his heart, which was pounding fiercely. Words of kindness… This wasn't at all what he had expected, and more than he had dared to hope for. But now he had heard them, his heart yearned for more.

"Why _did _you come back?" he finally dared. The after-effects of the fight and their current proximity made him feel light-headed. They were standing so close together he could feel the warmth of Seifer's body through his own clothes. His whole body was starting to tingle and he tightened his grip on Lionheart's hilt to keep focussed.

Seifer shrugged lightly, but didn't break eye contact.

"A man needs a living, and this is the only trade I know."

Squall dismissed the answer the instant he heard it.

"That's not the real reason."

Seifer chuckled softly. "You always did see right through me," he admitted. "It's true I need my license. However…" He paused, looking ever deeper into Squall's eyes as if to affirm his sincerity. "What I need… What I _want_ even more is to repent for what I did. To show you I'm not the bastard you think I am."

Squall leaned into the crossed blades, bringing his face closer to Seifer's. "Not everyone will be as easily convinced as me," he whispered.

"I don't care about everyone. The only thing that matters to me, is you."

That was all it took. The hushed confession quenched the thirst of his heart and filled the void in his soul all at once. He didn't doubt that it was true. There was a bond between them, and it was mutual. There his mind lost control of words and concepts to rationalise the feeling, so he reached up and simply gave into it.

Seifer's mouth was cool and soft, though tense at first. Running his tongue along the moist flesh of his lips, he coaxed them to part and accept him. And they did. He savoured the surprisingly sweet taste as he ventured in. He felt Seifer responding and his kiss was now returned readily and with passion. So strong, so wonderful…

The suddenly weight of their blades falling on his feet made him yank his head back. The stinging pain didn't drown out the tingling of his mouth, but it was enough for reason to reoccupy his mind. Realising exactly what he'd just done, he glanced up at Seifer in bewilderment, expecting a wide array of emotions displayed on his handsome face.

But the blonde actually looked surprisingly collected, the faint smirk on his face balancing between amused and wary. Only the tip of his tongue running over his lips testified of a lack of resentment to what had just passed between them.

"That was as unexpected as it was good," Seifer eventually stated, still speaking with a hushed voice. "However, I'm sure you agree that it _seriously_ complicates things."


	7. Chapter 7

"That was as unexpected as it was good. However, I'm sure you agree that it _seriously_ complicates things."

That said, Seifer noticed that Squall was actually blushing, or at least there was a faint hint of colour on the otherwise pale face. Not surprising, really. Things that seem so right one moment often feel very awkward the next, and his guess was that Squall had no idea how to talk himself out of this one.

"Just ignore it," the Commander suddenly blurted out. "It shouldn't have happened anyway, and things that didn't happen can't complicate anything."

Seifer frowned. "True. But that doesn't…" He stopped when Squall gestured him to.

"Neither of us can afford to give any notion to this. I've got a position and a girlfriend to mind, and you've got your SeeD rank to obtain."

Averting his eyes, Seifer sank to his knees to retrieve Hyperion, deliberately moving slowly to buy himself some time to consider the statement. It wasn't his style to give in easily, but protesting was useless. Squall was right. He shouldn't throw his last chance at SeeD in a vague attempt to live a dream that had no chance of coming true anyway. No matter how intriguing the implications of this situation were, they'd never be more than just implications and no amount of wishful thinking was going to change that.

Picking up both weapons from the jungle floor, he rose to his feet again. With a stern look on his face he handed Lionheart to Squall.

"If that is your order, Commander, I'll obey it."

"It's for your own sake, too." Squall sounded almost apologetic.

"I know, sir," he replied with a wry smile, feeling he was being patronised. He clenched his jaw. "Permission to leave?"

Squall suddenly looked shocked. "Leave? Where to?"

"Well, my dorm?"

The brunet relaxed again. "Ah. Yes. Of course." He nodded. "Dismissed, cadet."

Without another word, Seifer threw Squall a long look and a salute before turning on his heels and pacing out of the Training Centre. Large ferns and low branches hit his limbs and face, but he was too riled up to avoid them. Anger, disappointment and rejection tore him apart on the inside, but he couldn't place the feelings. Squall had never shown any sign of affection before. Why would an unexpected kiss be reason to turn his world upside down?

The why of it didn't matter, though. It had changed everything. He cursed silently, but he couldn't hide from what he knew to be true. In all honesty, yes, that kiss had been all it took to raise his hopes higher than they should. And in turn, that silent confession triggered a variety of emotions that flared inside him. His frustration fuelled the flames of his usually well-managed magic to the point where he unwillingly set fire to some plants as he passed.

He stopped as soon as he noticed it. "Ah, fuck it!" He swiped his hand through the air and the flames died instantly, leaving only some semi-charred vegetation to show for his momentary lapse of control.

_Don't be so angry,_ Shiva's voice echoed in his mind. _Give him time._

Seifer stopped dead in his tracks. 'My head's not an intercom, lady,' he mentally spat at her. 'Don't confuse it for one! I hated it when that Sorceress bitch did so, and I'm not liking it any better now.'

The Guardian Force didn't speak, but the image of Squall's shocked face suddenly popping up in his mind felt as much as a reply as words would have. He had dismissed that moment as soon as it happened and he wouldn't have given it any further consideration if it hadn't been brought to his attention now. Which was probably Shiva's entire intention.

As he exited the centre and walked back to his room in at a more composed pace, he mentally dissected the image that remained frozen in the back of his mind. For some reason, his attention was drawn to Squall's wide open, grey eyes. Eyes that seemed to be filled with an emotion he had only seen there at a few rare occasions, but which he instantly recognised.

Fear. Raw, naked fear...

His pace slowed to a crawl as he put the pieces together. Obviously Squall had been terrified at that moment.

"_Leave? Where to?"_

It made sense. Squall had always been afraid of people leaving him.

Seifer stopped as a realisation set in. Apparently, there hadn't been anything more to that kiss than a desperate move to hold on to what you know. It hadn't been about him, but about security, although it was completely beyond him why Squall would turn to his rival for a sense of security. Maybe it was just because he was the only one there at the moment. A substitute for whoever Squall really wanted. And that was… He snarled as he paced onwards again to cross the last few yards to his dorm.

His thoughts dwelled on Ellone. He hadn't had any kind of special attachment to the girl when she was still at the orphanage, but he'd only come to truly hate her after she was gone. She'd made Squall soft, then as well as now. As he angrily punched his access code on the door's numpad, he found himself wishing he'd been at liberty to kill the girl when he'd had the chance.

Once he entered his dorm room, the door slid shut behind him and the lights automatically came on. He shrugged his coat off and put Hyperion back in its case as he considered his conclusion. It angered him, but he took some small comfort from the fact that knowing the real reason behind the stupid incident just now would make it easier to follow the orders he'd been given and forget about it. Besides, he had to focus on his studies and his exams anyway.

But his resolve to think of it that way wouldn't last. He knew too well he was only fooling himself thinking he could ignore Squall like any other man. It would have been healthier if he were able to, but certain facts don't change overnight and the habit of a lifetime is hard to break. Even in the face of death.

The mattress gave in under his weight as he slumped on the bedside and closed his eyes. For a few minutes he just sat there, motionless, considering his situation. He'd come to Garden to try and repent for what he'd done in the name of his Romantic Dream, which involved Squall a lot more than the sultry brunet could begin to guess. He had caused a massive amount of damage, both physically and mentally, but he'd had a very good reason to do so. A noble reason. Or at least at the time he had _thought_ it was noble.

Melancholy setting in, he tugged off his left glove and held up his bare hand. With a heavy heart, he examined the scars on his hand like he'd done a million times before. White lines of scar tissue formed a ragged circle, almost two inches in diameter, at the centre of his palm. More lines spread out there where the flesh had torn further than the wound itself, mimicking the corona of an eclipsed sun. Turning his hand over, he studied the similar scar on the back of his hand as well.

His Romantic Dream, to protect the one he loved the most, had come at a high price both for himself and others. Where his own well-being was concerned, he didn't mind so much. He'd decided on the course of action he thought was best, and the fact that Squall had come to hate him for it or that he had almost lost his own life in the process were sacrifices he had gladly made.

But for everyone else, things were less clear-cut. He knew that not knowing why your loved ones died made the loss worse. He had enough experience in that department himself. Of course, he couldn't explain his actions to the whole world, not after the untrue but advantageous assumptions the International Court had made. But if nothing else, he could tell the truth to the ones who mattered most to him. Most of all to Squall.

The younger man had always been dear to him, but that had always been a one-side and platonic one. He had never expected or believed it could be more, and he was okay with that. But since coming back to Garden, strange things had happened. Squall had returned Hyperion to him, had openly declared his respect for him. And, Squall had kissed him. Willingly.

He shook his head. "Do yourself a favour, Seifer, and don't read anything into it. Mistakes happen."

But then again, if it truly had been a mistake, Squall not would have prolonged their kiss when it was returned, nor would have he had that oddly luscious look in his eyes when their faces were just inches apart.

Again, the image of Squall's terrified face popped up in his head. _"Leave? Where to?"_

Seifer found himself reconsidering his earlier conclusion. Squall's fearful question was a strange one coming from someone who's got a girlfriend, friends and is generally worshipped. And Ellone was presumably just a phone call away. And taking bothHyperion's surprise return and his rival's overall demeanour today into the equation as well, it might just be possible that Squall's reaction was because the brunet feared that _he _would leave. Not just anyone, but him, Seifer Almasy. It suggested that Squall actually wanted him around. Perhaps even needing him.

The idea was a welcome one, but it was also unsettling. Thirteen of the nineteen plus years he'd spent on this world had revolved around Squall. The chance of even the slightest bit of that dedication being mutual was as enthralling as it was unnerving. It gave him hope that he wasn't sure he was entitled to.

Halfway through that line of thought, he stopped himself, remembering his promise. His promise to forget about tonight, or at least ignore it. Heck, he'd been ordered to, so he couldn't throw that promise overboard without serious repercussions, either. All he could do for the moment was wait and see if there was evidence that Squall felt the way he hoped the brunet did.

And then, on a more mundane note, there were still the assessment tests he'd been set. Staring at the of library books he'd picked up that afternoon stacked haphazardly on his desk, he doubted if he was even going to get a chance to think about anything not directly involving his SeeD exam. He sighed, not looking forward to having his nose stuck in the stuffy lectures for hours on end, but knowing he was probably better off that way. As long as his nose was there, it wouldn't be pocking around in less prudent business.

* * *

Squall enjoyed having a quiet afternoon to himself. He stood in his office, staring out over the plains and the mountains beyond instead of burying himself knee-deep in paperwork like he was supposed to. But for the first time since he'd started this job, he couldn't care less. He had better things to think about lately.

It had been two weeks since the kissing-incident, and it still consumed more of his brain time than it should. It was becoming something of a habit. Fortunately for him, every time he spaced out on that subject, he just seemed to be having another one of his internal monologues. In the end, no one was the wiser.

The afternoon sun was steadily running its course through the sky, heating up his office. Peace was rare for a soldier, but this had to be it. No nagging officers trying to lobby their way to an extended budget, the Headmistress up in her office so he didn't need to cover for her, and Rinoa off to Balamb City to abuse his credit card together with Selphie.

Especially the latter was a load off his mind. He earned more money than he could ever spend himself anyway, and it was an effective way of keeping his girlfriend out of his hair during working hours. She was a sweet girl, but he simply couldn't handle her sitting on his lap and whispering in one ear while his other ear was listening to a prospective client on the other end of the phone. Besides, it was taxing enough to have to deal with her in the evenings, let alone having her all over him during the day.

He signed, realising he wasn't supposed to feel that way. It was strange how things could change, really. For a couple of weeks after the war he and Rinoa had been inseparable, spending every waking moment together, but it had all gone downhill from there. At a certain point he had just stopped seeing their relationship as more than him being her Knight and keeping her from going rogue. A necessity that lacked everything else.

His hand was on his chest before he noticed, and his fingertips quickly found the silver cross under his shirt.

Seifer…

The tall blonde was Rinoa's opposite in everything. Everything she lacked, he had. Vice versa, too, of course, but there was precious little about Rinoa that he missed in his rival. He was strong and independent, able to bring out the best and the worst in him. Rinoa didn't bring anything out in him anymore.

Of course the two of them did have a few similarities as well. Both Seifer and Rinoa were headstrong to the point of being unreasonable, both were violently passionate about what they believed in, and he had recently discovered that, like Rinoa, Seifer could actually be tender and caring.

Unconsciously he closed his eyes at the thought. He could still taste Seifer's kiss in his mouth, his lips tingling with imaginary touch. It no longer surprised him how much he had enjoyed that moment. He'd never thought about kissing another man before, but it had been soft and sweet and somehow very natural. As if it was just how it was supposed to be…

He snapped his eyes open to recollect himself. He'd ordered Seifer to forget about it, and it wouldn't be fair to either Seifer or himself to allow his head and his heart to run wild like this. However, with a hint of embarrassment he noticed that other parts of his body were reacting as well. He was glad he'd decided on wearing his leather pants today instead of the loose fitting uniform trousers. Certain things just didn't show so much in sturdy fabric…

He smiled despite himself. Seifer indeed was everything Rinoa wasn't, and that included 'arousing'. He had decided a few days ago that that fact didn't bother him anymore. He needed Seifer. Pure and simple. Always had, too. He couldn't explain why it had taken him so long to realise this or why it was suddenly so obvious to him now. But things were the way they were. There was no point in denying the feeling or the response of his body.

In a way, it was even an understandable reaction. Seifer was generally perceived as handsome and had an enticing personality to boost. It was easy to fall for him. Also, his arrogance suggested power, and power was well-known to be one of the best aphrodisiacs. So in all, it wasn't very surprising that he'd feel attracted to his rival.

The only problem was that such attraction was both socially unacceptable and highly impractical. A relationship between two males was one thing. A relationship between the world's best-known living nemeses, however, was another entirely. Seeing it through would mean fighting Hell and high water as well as public opinion. He hadn't decided yet which one of those was worst.

"I don't care what the Commander said! I need to see him! NOW!"

Squall physically looked up from his thoughts. The yelling came from the hallway, but the closed office door hardly muffled the words or their intention. Time to get back on the treadmill. Straightening himself as he turned to face the door, he waited until whoever was screaming at the staff's secretary would burst through the door.

He waited exactly two seconds.

"He murdered them! _MURDERED _THEM!" Selphie Tilmitt screamed at the top of her lungs as she squeezed herself through the still-opening door and ran into the room.

Squall frowned, firstly because it was rare to see her in such a state and secondly because she was the last-but-one person he had expected right now. Wasn't she supposed to be downtown? But that question soon dissolved in irrelevance when he took a better look at her. It was clear from the petite girl's tear-streaked face that whatever had happened, it was serious.

She quickly crossed his office and rounded his desk.

"You…you've got to get rid of him, Squall," she sobbed, grabbing the front of his shirt the moment she could reach it. "You've got to!"

He didn't respond right away, trying to assess the situation first. She looked horrified, and her eyes told him her plea was genuine. No drama at all. She was _really_ upset.

"Squall, please! I know it's your duty to protect Xu's decision, but you can't! Not now! He _murdered _them! Don't you understand?"

He slowly took her hands in his, trying to calm her down while he figured out what she was so riled up about. "What happened, Selphie? Tell me, quietly."

She nodded, still choking on her sobs as she fought to regain some self-control.

"It's… I went to tell him his test score and we got taking and…and… He just _told_ me!"

Squall was still at a loss. "You're not making sense. Who told you what?"

"Seifer," she spat in reply, more angry than distraught now. "He said he wasn't possessed when he fired those missiles, like they told us he was! He knew what he was doing!"

"Impossible. The Court said he was…"

"He said the Court had it wrong!" she cried. He could feel her nails digging in his hands. "That he knew what he was doing. That he fired knowing he'd kill all those people… those children..." Fresh tears were streaming down her face. "It was his fault, Squall! It wasn't out of his hands at all… He murdered them in…in cold blood…"

Not knowing how else to respond, he just held her as she cried her eyes out into his shoulder.


	8. Chapter 8

Hope I didn't keep you guys hanging on too long. My being sick delayed the update more than I wanted. Enjoy!

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* * *

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**Chapter 8**

Seifer leaned heavily against the tiled wall of the shower stall as the warm water cascaded over his back. Using the Training Centre's common showers was something he'd rather avoided, but since he got himself covered in Grat goo during his last fight, it was either this or skinning himself trying to get the dried-up mucus off his body once he got to his room. And the stuff was just like sand: it got in all the places you didn't want it to.

Besides, he was almost as assured of solitude here as he'd be in his quarters. Only very few students actually used the common showers since the dorms had been equipped with private one-square-metre sanitary cells, so it wasn't likely that he'd be interrupted. And that was exactly what he wanted. Being alone gave him time to think, which was something he did a lot lately. Too much, perhaps. Judging from today's events, it was beginning to cloud his common sense.

Poor Selphie… The fact that telling her blew his own chances didn't hurt nearly as much as seeing that broken-hearted look on her face. Whoever claimed that telling the truth pays off was a fucking liar.

He sighed. There was going to be Hell over this, both officially _and_ unofficially. Selphie was a popular girl. It was just a matter of time before half of Garden would come after him with the other half cheering them on. Of course that was a worst-case scenario. Chances were Squall would gut him long before it came to mob-forming.

Squall… A shiver ran down his spine when he thought of having to explain this mess to him. A repeat performance of their moment in the Training Centre was completely out of the question now, no matter how much he longed for it.

And he did long for it. He had sincerely tried to forget, but you can't make yourself forget something you thoroughly enjoyed. Now all he could think about was the sweet taste of his rival's lips and the inexplicable yearning for more. It was confusing. The idea that Squall needed him as much as he needed Squall had changed everything, absolutely everything…

His mind was just wandering off again when the sudden sound of the hallway door openingbrought his attention back to the here and now. Warrior's instinct kicking in instantly, he held his breath as he assessed the situation. He couldn't see anything of the locker room but what was exactly in front of his stall, so he had to rely on his ears to tell him what to expect.

Slow, purposeful footsteps echoed off the tiles. An adult male, from the sound of it. Every step was accompanied by a jingle of small metal objects being jostled. It reminded him of a cowboy movie stand-off, but anything could make that sound, really. Chains, keys, cross belts… His heartbeat quickened as he glanced out into the locker room. Hyperion lay on a bench some ten feet away. Not good. He quickly shut the tap and turned to exit the stall as he made to grab the towel he'd hung on the nearby hook. It wasn't there.

"Looking for this?" the voice of Irvine Kinneas drawled casually. "Here ya go."

Seifer caught the towel as it was thrown at him. Without taking his eyes off the man in front of him, he then slowly proceeded to dry himself. Apparently his B-movie association hadn't been far off the mark. A quick scan told him the cowboy was in full combat gear and openly sporting his rifle. At first glance the weapon didn't seem to be cocked, but that could change in the blink of an eye.

Neither of them spoke, but as Seifer fastened the sizable towel around his waist, Irvine backed away. He settled himself on the nearest bench between the stall and the exit, allowing Seifer to go about his business but pinning him down nonetheless.

"I was waiting for you," the sharpshooter finally said, sounding as casual as before. "I want to have a word with you."

"I'm flattered," Seifer replied unpleasantly as he sauntered over to where his belongings lay, closing the distance to Hyperion without making it too obvious. It was a precaution, but not an unnecessary one. He found it hard to read the cowboy's intentions. The man didn't sound hostile, but he _was_ holding Exeter out. And he was Selphie's boyfriend. The combined facts left little to the imagination just why the sharpshooter wanted to talk to him.

For a while, Irvine just sat there and fidgeted with the mechanics of his weapon.

"Is it true?" he asked eventually.

Seifer, who was in the process of putting his boxers on, adjusted both the underwear and his private parts before answering. He considered lying, but that would just make matters worse.

"What I told Selphie? Yeah, it's true."

The cowboy nodded. "I see…" He continued to play with the metal plate on the butt of his gun, but then he looked up again. "Did you have a choice?"

Slowly pulling his jeans up, Seifer stared ahead as his fingers went through the automatic movements of getting dressed. Of all the questions Irvine could have asked, this was the one he had least expected. He had often wondered about this himself, but after all these months, he still came up with the same answer.

"No, I don't think I did. I could only try to modify her orders to reduce their impact, but that…" He shook his head and grabbed his t-shirt. "That wasn't always enough. For Trabia it wasn't, anyway."

Irvine nodded again. Seifer felt the cowboy's eyes bore into his body. He tried to ignore it, pretending to be too preoccupied with whether or not to wear his slime-drenched shirt.

"So you didn't always obey her," Irvine continued. "Is that how you got those round scars?"

Seifer froze despite himself. This was one subject he really didn't want to discuss, but then again, he should have seen it coming. Ten perfectly round scars covering his body in a deliberate pattern were bound to stand out. His fingers quickly tried to peel the cloth of his shirt open, but the slime had already hardened. Dropping it, he reached for his coat and put that on instead.

"They don't have anything to do with this," he told the other man decidedly.

Irvine shrugged. "If you say so. It's funny, though. They look just like the one Squall's got on his shoulder. Y'know, where that giant icicle hit him during the parade."

Oh, he remembered that, all right. They exchanged looks. He could tell Irvine was baiting him, and the cowboy obviously realised he'd made a catch. When had he become so easy to read?

"Well spotted," he gruffly admitted as slipped into his boots and gathered Hyperion and the rest of his belongings. "Same MO indeed, but that doesn't mean I'm going into details, Sherlock."

Irvine raised his hands in mock-defence. "Hey, I'm no expecting you to. But ya can't blame a man for asking."

"Ever heard the expression 'curiosity killed the cat'?"

"That's what they keep telling me."

Seifer couldn't help but grin. Irvine had a disarming kind of self-mockery that just made it impossible to be pissed at him for long. And he obviously wasn't one to hold a grudge himself. The fact that he hadn't put a bullet between Seifer's eyes more or less testified to that. Or maybe the sharpshooter was just a patient guy. Seifer didn't think it wise to try and find out which one it was.

Irvine rose to his feet and slung his gun onto his shoulder as they made their way to the exit. "I had to ask, though," he said as they both stepped outside into the hallway. "I heard Selphie's side of what happened, but it wouldn't be fair not to hear yours."

"So you came to seek me out."

"So I came to seek you out…"

They walked back to the dormitories in silence. The hallways were empty, and Seifer concluded that it was probably well after midnight. Time flies when you're chopping up critters.

They had just reached the first dorms when Irvine trailed behind a little.

"Uhm, Seifer? There is something you should know…"

Seifer turned, frowning. "What's up?"

"Look, you've been honest with me when I asked you 'bout Selphie and all, so now it's my turn to be honest." He looked around and then stepped up to Seifer until they were within whispering distance.

"It's not confirmed yet," he continued, keeping his voice low, "but I pretty much heard it first hand and I feel you should know."

The famous sinking feeling was taking over Seifer's stomach. "Know what?"

"Apparently the Headmistress's got second thoughts about making you SeeD, even if you pass the exams in time."

Sinking feeling justified. Somehow it didn't really surprise him, though. Xu hadn't been too pleased to give him a second chance in the first place.

Irvine motioned him to keep listening. "It's the top's decision. Squall, of course, is in favour of keeping you here."

"'Of course'?"

"Yeah, of course!" the cowboy hissed. "Don't pretend you didn't know he missed you. Anyway, Quisty's got the third vote, and she hasn't decided yet. So between Xu's contra and Squall's pro, it's pretty much her call which way the coin drops. Now if I were you, I'd do some serious sucking up to get on her good side."

What had started out as a bad day had just gotten worse. He nodded at Irvine. "Thanks for the heads up."

"No problem, man," the cowboy replied as his tipped his head in greeting. "Good luck. You'll need it."

Seifer watched his unexpected ally swagger off as he let the man's last words sink in. He didn't feel any resentment to the wish, like he would've a year ago. This time he really _did_ need it. Probably more than he'd like to admit.

Tired with more than physical fatigue, he turned and made his way to his own dorm. Time for bed. Maybe things wouldn't look so gloomy when he woke up in the morning.

But one of life's little ironies is that just when you think things can't get worse, they do. And as far as Seifer was concerned, things took another nosedive when he found his front door unlocked. After double-checking his memory that he had indeed locked it after going out that evening, he grunted to himself. Obviously someone had shown themselves in, and from the look of the door's undamaged numpad, it had to be someone with a skeleton key. And that seriously limited the options of people responsible.

With his hackles and Hyperion on stand-by, he entered quietly. The lights were on, too. That meant that whoever had violated his private quarters was probably still inside. Not the best prospective, but on the bright side, at least he could see who it was and whether they were armed or not. Soundlessly, he crossed the distance to the main room and peered in.

Behind his desk sat a familiar figure, apparently engrossed one of his weapon magazines. Seifer felt his shoulders sag when he saw who it was.

"You took your time," the man stated, slowly looking up from the page he'd been reading.

Seifer produced a sneer for good measure as he casually strode in, but set his blade down in its usual corner as a sign of submission.

"I was in the Training Centre, preparing for the exams. Like I should be."

Squall's brows arched for a moment. "I was beginning to think you had left Garden entirely."

His first reaction was to bite something back, but he hesitated, hearing the slight strain in his rival's otherwise level voice. He recalled Irvine's cursory remark, and that made the suggestion in Squall's words all the more tantalising. Too bad he couldn't afford to explore it right now

"I'm not a coward," he said after setting his mind to the conversation. "I can take responsibility for what I've done."

The Commander rose to his feet. "Was that what you were doing when you told Instructor Tilmitt you were never possessed? Taking responsibility for your actions?"

Seifer looked away for a moment. He could imagine what he'd see if he met Squall's eyes now, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to deal with the almost tangible anger and disappointment.

"I guess that wasn't one of my smarter moves," he commented.

Squall suddenly rounded on him, face livid. "You can bet your ass it wasn't smart! Do you even _realise_ the consequences of what you did!" he yelled. "The few people in Garden who _don't_ object to your presence on this planet base their trust on the fact that you _were_ possessed and didn't know what the _fuck_ you were doing!"

Seifer forced himself to look at Squall. It was very rare, even for him, to see the younger man so emotional. His rival's eyes were bright blue instead of grey. Rage beyond fury. He'd only seen this once before, moments before Squall had raised his weapon to scar him in retaliation. If looks could kill, this had to be the a-bomb. It left him speechless.

But Squall collected his temper as quickly as he'd lost it. "Is it true?" he asked, sounding so much colder than ever before.

Seifer closed his eyes. "Yeah, it's true. I told her because I can't show you what I really am if I keep lying."

"So far I'm not impressed," Squall growled. "What else did you lie about?"

"The shortest answer is that I lied myself a way through the war."

Squall gave him a disgusted look. "And after?"

There was that slight strain again, telling him Squall wasn't as tough as he looked right now.

"Everything I told you since my arrival here was true," he answered, hoping it sounded as sincere and assuring as he intended.

But Squall shook his head. "I want to believe you, Seifer, but I can't. I trusted you against everyone's better judgement. I worked hard to give you this last chance. I've shown more of myself to you than to anyone else, ever." He wrapped his arms around his chest, almost hugging himself. "You were confused and anxious when you were her Knight. I could tell. And now you simply say that it was all a charade?"

Seifer felt his heart break for the second time that day. It didn't take a genius to see the Lion of Balamb was losing his icy mask. Through the cracks, he could see a glimpse of the very scared little boy hiding behind it. He shook his head. He was so bad as this kind of thing.

"Look, don't go mixing things up," he tried. "During the war, I said and did a lot of things that I didn't mean. The Sorceress didn't have as much hold over me as everyone thought, but she did play mind games, and I was forced do things I didn't want to. It's a complex story, but in short, I had to keep her happy to protect you." He rested his hand on Squall's shoulder and gently squeezed it. "I never _wanted_ to hurt you, Squall. You've got to believe me."

Squall looked aside, but didn't shun the touch. "I'm not sure if I can. You could be lying right now."

"But I'm not."

"Then convince me."

Seifer gazed at Squall's expecting face. Words were useless. He could repeat his explanation a thousand times and Squall still wouldn't believe him. So he leaned forward and let his actions do the talking.

A brief gasp escaped Squall's lips as Seifer kissed him, but the hesitation lasted for barely a second. Seifer savoured the gentle tremble in the other man's body. His touch was readily returned, Squall's tongue hungrily reaching out for him. Without their blades between them, he had his hands free to pull the lithe body so close he could feel his rival's heartbeat hammering against his own chest. He moaned softly when Squall's bare hands started feeling up his sides and back. The fact that he didn't wear a shirt under his trench coat only heightened the sensation. His whole body responded and all coherent thoughts drowned in the heated touch.

As the intensity of the kiss grew, so did the bulge in his jeans. Seifer felt faintly embarrassed, but that disappeared when Squall pressed his groin against his hip in response. His heart made a leap for joy. This was all he could ever wish for. Past and present, friends and enemies, none of it was significant any longer. Nothing else mattered but the man he held in his arms, and who was holding him in return.

Sweet Hyne, this had to be Heaven!

* * *

Please let me know what you think! Any tips and tricks on how to spice things up without getting banned from this place are welcome. 


	9. Chapter 9

Believe it or not, but I'm still alive and kicking! Or rather, my baby's doing most of the kicking right now. Just a few more weeks Anyway, six months of hormone-induced writer's block suddenly lifted in the middle of the night and started jostling the boys' hormones instead, hehehe…

Warning: Remember those graphic scenes I mentioned in Chap 1? This is one. If you think it's too much, please tell _me _before complaining with fanfiction. net. Removing and rewriting a chapter is a lot easier than having the lot banned, don't you think? Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Squall was surprisingly well-aware of what was going on and how his body reacted. He let it, wondering at his own desires as well as Seifer's. The blonde's strong arms wrapped tightly around him, holding on to him as if he were a life buoy in a stormy sea. He frowned, partially because of the sensations triggered by quick fingers expertly exploring the sensitive parts of his body, and partially because of the thoughts crossing his mind. Was this need to get physical just a shared need for comfort? Just to chase away the loneliness?

But then Seifer's lips left his as the blonde trailed a hot line of kisses along his jaw line and down along his throat. Squall involuntarily arched his head back in response. No, this was more than wanting to be held. He wanted to be close to Seifer, to the only one who ever even tried to understand him. He shivered when Seifer softly licked his collar bone.

To have. To hold. Forever… _'I won't lose you again!'_

But he would. They'd take Seifer away, if… If…

"Stop it!"

The blonde obliged reluctantly. "What?" he breathed. "This going to fast for you?"

"We can't do this," Squall stated, trying to hide the panic in his voice.

Seifer tilted his head a little further and raised an eyebrow at him. "Getting embarrassed all of a sudden?"

"Hardly," Squall replied sharply. "But neither of us can afford giving in."

"You don't want this?"

The trace of hurt in the blonde's voice didn't escape him, and he shook his head in reply.

"I want this more than I should. But I can't stop thinking about Rinoa, Xu, Quistis… The mess we're in if anyone finds ou..hnnn!" Squall gasped when Seifer's lips found his nipple under the tight shirt and grazed it teasingly. "Seiferrr…"

He felt his rival's grin before hearing it. "Soft spot, ey?"

"God, Seif… We can't."

"Yes, we can. Did you guys plant security cameras or mikes in my room?"

Squall eyed him curiously. "No..."

"Then no one'll be the wiser," Seifer grinned as he straightened himself.

Watching him, Squall felt the fabric of his shirt ride up to his armpits. He opened his mouth to protest, but the shirt was yanked over his head, effectively shutting him up. Feeling pretty much exposed once he was free of the cloth, he shot Seifer a quasi-disapproving scowl.

"You don't waste any time, do you?"

Seifer opened his mouth to reply, but something stopped him. Following the ex-Knight's gaze, Squall found the now uncovered pendant around his neck. He blushed slightly, but instead of laughing at him, Seifer gently brushed the small cross with his hand.

"Looks like we wasted too many years already."

Squall just caught a glimpse of Seifer's trademark smirk before the blonde leaned over and softly nibbled his earlobe. The slight, tentative touch triggered a heat wave through his body that made him breathe hard and seemed to wash all strength from his legs. He wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck for support, an involuntary moan escaping him when their hips rubbed against each other.

Loosing himself more and more in the emotions ripping through him, Squall pressed himself against Seifer, the cold of the blonde's leather coat against his bare chest arousing him as much as the warmth of Seifer's skin where the coat didn't cover its owner's equally bare torso. The warm hands caressing the small of his back flawlessly found the spots that made him shiver at the faintest touch. Spots which he didn't even knew he had, but which Seifer navigated like he'd done it a million times before.

When Seifer started teasing the skin around his belt next, Squall knew he was lost. He couldn't suppress the whimper surfacing from the back of his throat. Nothing, _nothing_ he and Rinoa had ever done had even come close to making him feel like this. And somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that Seifer hadn't even started yet…

With a shock, Squall regained some of his senses when the caresses suddenly stopped and he was physically lifted off the ground.

"What the…?!"

"This's more comfortable," Seifer explained as he lowered Squall onto the bed and motioned him to lie down. "Trying Kamasutra stands on a first date is a turn-off, trust me."

Squall smirked slightly at the comment as he settled himself on the bed, enjoying the cool touch of the sheets against his heated skin. He watched intently as Seifer shed himself of his leather coat. For the first time since his rival's return, Squall truly allowed himself to gaze at the toned body he'd fought so many times. Seifer's muscles were well-defined, though not as explicit as they had been before the war. Less stubborn pride, more prowess they seemed to say. He decided this was better. He liked it when you could tell a man's experience by the way he looked, and obviously Seifer had plenty of experience in many things. But then he frowned. Among the various tokens of war on the blonde's body, there were several raged white circles that looked awfully familiar.

"Seifer? Those scars…"

"Not now," the other man replied as he climbed onto the bed on all fours, hovering over Squall. "It's not important right now." He planted a tender kiss on Squall's lips to confirm his words. Then he sat up, straddling the brunet's legs.

Squall closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling while Seifer undid his cross belts. He hadn't realised just how tight his pants were until now. It felt weird in a good way to have someone touch him there. Rinoa had always relied on him to do the work between the sheets, and the fact that it was Seifer of all people who gave him what his girlfriend never could gave him all the more reason to surrender himself to his rival. A part of him told him to insist on going about this on equal terms, but the majority of him didn't want to. It felt good to _not_ be in charge for once.

It wasn't long before he had been stripped of his remaining clothes and lay bare naked on the sheets. Seifer still sat on his knees on the bed, clearly enjoying the view. The blonde was still wearing his jeans, although that did nothing to hide his obvious erection. Squall couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed and self-conscious.

"Could you not look at me as if you're going to eat me?"

Seifer grinned. "Why not? I might."

"It's just…"

"That you're nervous," the blonde cut in, leaning forward for a quick kiss. "You've never done this before, or at least not with another man." He brought his hand up to brush Squall's perked nipple.

"Hnnn…you have?" Squall managed between gasps.

"No, but does that matter? I'm sure we'll figure out what goes where."

Squall had no doubt about that. Or that it would be good.

Seifer's body hung just over his now, barely touching him but close enough to be teasing. Hands and lips were roaming his skin, finding more pleasure spots than he thought possible. An intricate pattern of kisses was laid out on his chest. It made him breathe hard, but when his nipple was enveloped by hot lips, he actually bucked at the sudden stimulation.

"It really is a soft spot…" Seifer drawled softly as he teased a little more, alternating between sucking and gently biting said spot.

Squall now found himself groaning openly, and Seifer's actions quickened in response. The rough treatment set his whole body on fire and he felt his member actually vibrating with tension. It felt like every next touch could make him come now. With a raspy, absent voice, he confessed as much.

"Then turn over."

After a short pause in which the instruction sank in, Squall obediently turned himself onto his stomach and buried his hands in the pillow. Slightly sobered by the anticipation of what would come next, he willed himself to stay relaxed. From behind him, Seifer reached over for the drawer of the nightstand and retrieved a small jar from it. Squall instantly recognised it.

"Gunblade Vaseline?"

Seifer shrugged. "Not as good as real lube, but it's the next best thing."

Squall nodded, realising that some form of lubrication would indeed be welcome. Despite his efforts, he couldn't keep some tension from creeping into his system. But then a warm hand stroked his back from his shoulder to his buttocks in silent reassurance, massaging him until he slipped back in the fogginess of arousal.

Melting into the touch, he didn't protest at all when his cheeks were spread just a little. However, the sudden cold of Vaseline against his opening made him gasp. He was instantly fully aware of the here and now and of the strangely pleasant sensation of a finger sliding into him. He felt how his muscles instinctively tightened around the intrusion, sending another pulse of fire through his groin.

"Like it?"

Squall only nodded, pressing back against Seifer's hand. The blonde took the hint and started moving, his free hand kneading Squall's thigh as he did so.

After barely more than a few minutes of being finger-fucked, Squall felt himself starting to drip with pre-come. Much to his pleasure, Seifer chose this moment to move his finger around as well as in and out, stretching his opening.

"You seem to be enjoying this," the blonde commented after testing the ground for a while. "Want something bigger up there?"

Too much into it to vocalise anything, Squall lifted his backside a little in reply. But a moan of disappointment escaped him when he felt Seifer retrieving his finger.

Seifer chuckled in the back of his throat. "Patience, Commander. All in good time."

Squall heard the sounds of a belt buckle and zipped being undone, but his attention -or what was left of it- was drawn to Seifer calling him by his title. Under these circumstances, it was both alienating and inexplicably arousing at the same time. The whole situation was, actually. Even the anticipation of fighting the most dangerous monsters had never moved him as much as the present prospect of being fucked by his rival.

The moment Seifer's cock, slick with Vaseline, pressed against him and then slid in a bit, Squall's first sensation was that of being ripped apart. He stifled a cry, but didn't resist. Years of fighting had taught him that pain could be ignored. And beyond the pain, the feeling of Seifer slowly filling him was very, _very _pleasant.

Taking a few seconds to adjust, he noticed Seifer wasn't in a rush either.

"Damnit, Leonheart," the ex-Knight grunted, his smirk carrying in his voice. "Calling you tight-assed must've been a self-fulfilling prophecy."

Squall couldn't care less. All he wanted right now was more of it all. More, and harder.

"Whatever. Just fuck me."

Again there was the audible grin. "As you command, sir."

Seifer rocked into him, pushing a little deeper each time. For Squall, the line between pain and pleasure was dissolving rapidly with every thrust. He pushed into the motion, silently demanding more force. He raised himself on all fours, only to be driven back onto the mattress again. A game of give and take played out at an increasing speed. Where his skin had been mostly dry before, he was beginning to sweat more and more as their duel continued.

Biting his lip, Squall pushed himself up again, leaning into each thrust into his body. He couldn't decide whether he wanted to come now or to save it a little longer.

But then, as Seifer's strong fingers wrapped around his throbbing arousal and pumped him in synch with the thrusts, the decision was out of his hands. The tension building in his body peaked and with it everything else did, too.

He wasn't conscious enough to even try to suppress the cry of ecstasy as he came. His release spilled out of him, his whole body quivering and his fingers digging into the pillow until his knuckles turned white.

In the haze of his orgasm, Squall could feel his muscles repeatedly tightening around Seifer's shaft as he came, pushing the blonde into climax as well. He gladly took the handful of fast, powerful thrusts leading up to Seifer flooding him with a deep sigh.

For a moment, neither of them moved. It was all they could do to catch their breath and regain their senses after what had turned out to be an ecstatic but debilitating evening.

Squall had simply sagged onto the bed, too wasted to keep himself up. He was aware of the sting when Seifer disconnected from him, but it was barely enough to penetrate the drowsiness that came crashing down on him now that he'd spent himself and his energy. In his slowly realigning mind, the practical part of him insisted he'd take a shower. The rest told the practical part to go to Hell.

He was already on the verge of falling asleep when a warm body crawled up next to him and pulled the covers up over the both of them. This time the practical part told him not sleeping his own bed would raise awkward questions in the morning, but the rest of him successfully ignored the summon. After a night like this, he didn't want to just get up and leave. Besides, Seifer's arms were bound to be a lot more comfortable than Rinoa's after tonight, and that was all he really cared about right now. He'd consider worrying about the political consequences again in the morning.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Seifer couldn't tell what exactly made him wake up. The room was still pitch dark -a sure sign it wasn't morning yet- and his alarm clock hadn't made a sound. No surprise either, seeing as the device informed him it was just close to 5 am. Way too early to get up. Way too early to do anything but turn over and go back to sleep, for that matter.

He was just about to do just that when he realised that his sheets weren't in their usual configuration, and that he was still wearing his jeans, albeit unbuttoned. Recollections of the reason why surfaced quickly enough, bringing him instantly to full alert. There were a lot of things out of the ordinary, but considering the circumstances the fact that he was alone in his bed was unpleasantly familiar.

At that moment, though, he heard the wall-muffled 'thock' of bathroom taps cutting off their supply of running water. Although still feeling sleep-logged it didn't take him long to add one and one. And indeed his eyes, by now adjusted to the darkness of the room, made out a faint shimmer of light creeping over the floor of the hallway. Despite the early hour, it was reason enough for him to get up and check it out.

The blonde blinked against the bright light when he opened the bathroom door. He rubbed his eyes to make them compensate faster for the sudden onslaught, but without much success. The only thing it gained him was the teasing onset of a headache.

"Ah, up and about already?"

Still not able to see straight, Seifer just glared at everything in general. Then he reached to open the cold tap of the washbasin and proceeded to stick his head under the freezing water. A few seconds was enough to do him justice. Hair dripping water all over the place, he felt around for a towel. After a few moments of grabbing air someone pushed one into his hands.

"Thanks," he muttered, drying himself quickly. When he looked up again, he was greeted by a very awake -and not to mention very naked- Squall standing in front of him.

"Not one to get up early, are you?" the brunet remarked, cocking his head.

Seifer shook his head, casually taking in the sight before him. "Not everyone's got a build-in kick starter," he replied with a voice that was still harsh with sleep. "Especially not after what, three hours of sleep?"

Squall smirked faintly. "You're a soldier. You should be used to lack of sleep."

"I am."

A single brown eyebrow arched in silent question.

"Hey, I am!" Seifer protested. "When I have to…"

"Which is not now?"

"I've got no reason to be up at 5 in the morning today, and neither do you."

The brunet gave him a knowing look and then stepped out of the bathroom, flipping on more lights as he went in search of his clothes. Realising what the other man was aiming at, Seifer sighed as he followed into the main room.

"Office hours don't start until eight thirty, y'know," he said sincerely.

Squall, who was already sporting his underwear by now, was preoccupied with salvaging his discarded shirt from the floor. "I know," he eventually replied while dusting the garment off and putting it on. "But I needed a shower and I needed to think. And for me, that combination works very well, regardless of the time."

Seifer huffed and casually fished the pair of black leather pants and belts from their corner. "If you say so. But just so you know, it's considered bad manners to just get up and walk off after a night like this."

The pants and belts jingled as Seifer tossed them in Squall's general direction, but the brunet caught them effortlessly. As he finished dressing himself, Seifer couldn't help but watch him go through the motions. Nimble fingers closed the belts faster than he'd been able to pry them open. He wanted to say something, anything, about what had happened. A joke, a comment. But his mind was numb. Maybe the set look on the other man's face had something to do with that. This wasn't Squall standing in his room. This was the Commander of Garden.

With the last items, the straps of his boots, firmly in place, Squall lifted his head to meet Seifer's eyes.

"I'm not walking out on you," he said, "but I haven't forgotten the reason why I came to your room in the first place, either."

Seifer instantly felt anger and defeat clash hard in his face. He'd been expecting this, but the bliss of the night had almost made him forget everything else that happened yesterday. His stupidly honest confession, Selphie's heart-broken face, Irvine's warning, Squall's distrust… He rubbed his hands hard over his head and down his neck in frustration as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I really fucked up good this time, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did," Squall stated plainly. "But that doesn't mean you're beyond help. There's still room for some damage control."

"Damage control?" He couldn't see how.

But the brunet nodded in affirmation. "The generally accepted theory is that you were possessed, but you had to go claim you weren't."

"I wasn't."

"Now as I see it," Squall continued without paying attention to Seifer's words, "it's likely that Ultimecia intentionally manipulated you into believing you did it all out of your own free will. She rooted that perception of guilt so firmly in your mind that it took me the most of the night to find out that that was exactly what she did."

"Squall, I hate to say this, but… she didn't do that."

"Yes, convincing you to be objective about what she did to you was the hard part. Initially you were too stubborn and too proud to admit that she got the better of you."

Seifer tried to hide his instinctive indignation, but urged by the silent cold of a certain Guardian Force he decided swallow his pride and acknowledge what Squall was trying to do, namely trying to dig him out of the grave he'd dug for himself.

When he didn't respond, Squall cocked his head and crossed his arms before his chest in his trademark stance. "Are you clear on what I'm going to tell Selphie and the others about what you told her?"

After a while, Seifer let out a long sigh. "Oh yeah, crystal. Just tell me one thing."

"Which is?"

"Last night you said you didn't trust me not to lie. And now you order me to. So where does that leave my demonstration of sincerity?"

It was impossible to tell if Squall's features softened or if that was just his imagination.

"It leaves what happened exactly where it should be: between us," the younger man stated. "But if we don't want it to end here, you'll have to play along."

He was right, Seifer knew. Lie to save his ass. Lie to keep Squall close. How fucking ironic… He'd come back to come clean, and now he was yet again forced to resort to bend truths and outright lies to keep his world from falling apart. And like before, there was absolutely no guarantee for success.

"You think they'll buy your explanation?" he finally thought out loud.

Squall shrugged. "Anyone who saw you at Lunatic Pandora knows she'd been messing with your mind. And if you really were the evil bastard they say your are, you'd take advantage of the Court's decision not to prosecute for lack of evidence, instead of telling everyone it really _was_ all your fault."

Seifer smirked. Somehow Squall could make the most unlikely stories sound plausible. Everyone always seemed to believe what he said, regardless of what he was saying. No small wonder that he'd been dubbed Garden Commander even before he had become a legal adult.

In the silence that now fell, Squall glanced at the door a few times. Seifer recognised it, wishing he could ignore it and knowing he couldn't. Feeling defeated, he gave in.

"You should go. Curfew'll be over soon."

Squall nodded, but didn't move.

"C'mon, you were in such a hurry to get out. Now go already."

"I thought you didn't want me to leave?"

Green eyes meeting grey ones, Seifer saw the Commander's mask of duty falling away and, for just a moment, he could see the vulnerable young man behind it. He got to his feet and closed the distance between them.

"I don't _want _you to leave," he said softly, their bodies inches apart but not touching.

Squall leaned in just a fraction, his breath stroking Seifer's bare chest. "But I have to," he whispered.

"Yeah, you have to…"

For a few heartbeats they stood frozen in time, but then Squall recomposed himself and took a step back, becoming Commander once more.

"Get some sleep while you can. Your training schedule will continue as normal, so expect an instructor here by nine."

Seifer nodded solemnly as Squall made for the door. But in that motion, Seifer's eye caught something that made him smirk. "One thing, sir," he started, waiting for the brunet to stop and turn.

"What?"

He pointed at Squall's chest. "You might what to hide that before anyone starts asking awkward questions."

* * *

Stepping out into the hallway with the door of Seifer's room shutting behind him, Squall tried hard not to blush as he tucked his pendant back in his shirt. Seifer was right, things would be difficult enough without having to explain _that_ little detail. Still it had never felt so right to wear it as it did after tonight. 

A genuine smile came to his lips at the thought of the blonde's fingers exploring his body. It had been so unlike anything he'd ever experienced before, and as far as he was concerned he wanted nothing else for the rest of his life. Or rather no one else… His smile disappeared again when he reminded himself of the obstacles they'd have to overcome to even get a shot at a life close together: Xu, Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie. Come to think of it, maybe falling for a man was the smartest thing he could have done. All of his problems seemed to originate from women anyway. Speaking of which…

He ran his fingers through his wet hair, looking left and right down the hall. Right meant going up to his office for an early start, no doubt getting tackled by any one or all of the aforementioned women the very moment they noticed he was in. And left meant going back to his dorm to get a change of clothes while explaining to Rinoa where he'd been all night. Neither option was particularly appealing. For a moment he debated a third option, namely going back to Seifer to cuddle up and get some more rest before facing the day.

But the decision was taken out of his hands when someone called his name. Startled, he looked up.

"You're up bright and early," Quistis Trepe remarked as she halted in front of him.

He gave her a blank look. "Whatever."

She chuckled briefly, but then set her face straight. "I was hoping you'd start early today. There's a matter we need to discuss most urgently."

"Let me guess: Selphie's accusations towards Seifer?"

Quistis cocked her head nervously, telling him he hit the nail on the head.

He nodded. "I know about that. And that is actually why I'm standing in front of his dorm at this hour. There were a few suspicions I wanted to discuss with him."

"And?"

"Suspicions confirmed beyond reasonable doubt. I'll brief you in full later this morning, but if you don't mind, I'd like to get some fresh clothes first."

The blonde pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. "I see. Shall we say, in your office at seven?"

"Make that eight. I'll probably have to explain an enraged Rinoa where I've been and that's might take more time than I'd like."

"No doubt it will…" Blue eyes squinted a fraction. "Till eight o'clock then. Later."

As Squall watched Quistis walk away, he couldn't help but get the impression that convincing her of his explanation was be much harder than he'd like. Setting off in the direction of his own room, he mentally prepared himself for what would no doubt grow to be a continuous line of hefty discussions dominating the next few days. He cursed under his breath as he rounded the last corner and started punching the access code to his dorm even before coming to a full stop. If the brief exchange just now was anything to go by, it would be a very, very long day…

The door slid open, instantly smothering him in waves of toxic fumes emitting from the room. The distinct sweetness of the odour, though, told him it was nothing more alarming than an overdose of perfume. Although on second thought that was alarming enough. Not coming home that night had probably been a very good call…

Once inside, the perfume was backed-up by all the fluffy girly things he'd come to hate so much: so-called romantic music playing at low volume, scented candles –fortunately all burned up– and red roses, by now mostly wilted, scattered all over the place. There was no doubt in his mind who was responsible for this, or why.

Quietly he peeked around the corner of the bedroom door. He wasn't surprised to find the fairytale decorations continuing here, including what appeared to be pink silk sheets on the bed. He sighed. You'd think that by now she'd know how much he hated this kind of stuff. The fact that the culprit herself lay dozing on the bed in nothing more than a very see-through negligee wasn't helping his opinion of her either.

Oh yes, spending the night with Seifer had been a huge improvement on what had been waiting for him here.

He sneaked into the bedroom, hoping he could retrieve his uniform from the wardrobe without waking Rinoa up. With a hand on his belts to keep them from giving him away he crossed the two steps to the wardrobe and with his free hand he opened the door. Somehow he managed to take his uniform from the coat hanger without making too much noise. On the bed, Rinoa stirred. He froze, but when her slow breathing stayed that way, he carefully closed the door again and turned to make his way out.

Of course, that was when he had to trip over a previously undetected vase of red roses standing on the floor. The crash of shattering ceramic was enough to wake the dead, let alone a stood-up Sorceress. Squall managed to catch himself before he fell, but a fleeting glance at the bed told him he was in over his head anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

While the last of the ceramic shards bounced off the floor tiles and under various pieces of furniture, Squall stared at Rinoa with an appropriate amount of anxious anticipation. She sat up straight on the bed now, hair dishevelled, one strap of her negligee hanging loosely down her shoulder and her eyes sporting a look that mixed shock with fury.

"Squall?!"

"Ehm, sorry?" he tried carefully. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She glared at him, wide awake and face lit with indignation. "You mean you find me lying on the bed like this and you _didn't _want to wake me?" She made it sound like an unforgivable sin.

"Well… you were sleeping so peacefully." It was the best he could think of, and it was lame. He almost physically braced himself for whatever reaction his poor response would trigger. But he wasn't prepared for the loving yet very out-of-place smile that suddenly appeared on her face.

"Oh Squally, that's so sweet and considerate of you," she purred, leaning forward as she started crawling towards the edge of the bed. "It's still early enough…" She winked seductively.

Squall, if anything, felt trapped. He knew he was supposed to like this. This girlfriend was on their bed, practically naked and obviously very much in the mood for sex, but his first reaction was to turn and run for cover.

From the bed, Rinoa gracefully reached out for his hand. "Care to join me?"

Like Hell he would. His mind ran overtime trying to come up with a fitting reaction, or better yet, an excuse to get out of this.

"Sorry Rin, but I've been working all night and…"

"Aww, c'mon, sweetie," she cut in. "You can't just walk out now, not after all the effort I put in making it just right."

He kept his face expressionless. Just right his ass. There was no way he'd give himself over to anyone's fairytale fantasy just to indulge them, and Rinoa's least of all. He was no more a prince than she was a princess, no matter how much make-believe she poured into it. Unfortunately, that was something that had never gotten through to her, so getting out of here was essential to avoid having to reduce himself to pity-fucks.

It's when you start thinking like this you know your relationship is over bar the breaking up. Which was becoming a serious option, too, but not one to try out right now. He'd be needing his head later today.

He started a careful attempt to worm his way out of this predicament, but she wouldn't let him get past the first two syllables. Instead she lowered her legs over the edge of the bed and spread them, showing off how much she wasn't wearing anything resembling panties.

"You wouldn't want to waste this, would you?" she purred.

That was the final, very cheap drop.

"Actually," he stated a lot more decisive now, "I just came to get my uniform. I've got a meeting shortly, so I really don't have the time or inclination to have sex with you right now."

He expected her to get some more honey-sweet begging going, but apparently his disinterest was so much of a turn-off that she gave up and just shot him a look that spelled 'I should have known'. "So what else is new," she pouted. "You never have time for me."

"Isn't my credit card more than making up for that?" he replied with a suitable amount of cynicism.

She shrugged. "Sometimes."

The ease with which that came out irritated him. Apparently she thought as little of their situation as he did. "Then why don't you go put on something decent and go shopping," he snapped.

"At six in the morning?!"

He rolled his eyes. _Women…_ "The Internet's open 24/7, Rin. Have a blast." And with that he walked out the door, uniform in hand.

* * *

It was well after nine. As he waited in his room -scrubbed, shaven and wearing a fresh pair of jeans-, Seifer killed some time cleaning non-study-related clutter from his desk. He had the random papers all stacked up and was now looking for a place to stash the lot, preferably somewhere out of sight. Scanning around, his eye fell on the weapons magazine Squall'd been reading the night before. It was lying discarded in a corner next to his computer, but the associations it kindled made it stand out like a sore thumb. Before he caught himself, Seifer found himself thinking thoughts that would make most people blush. Not that his face was flushing red, but other body parts were. Deciding now was not the time, he pushed the images away and stuffed the magazine in an already overcrowded drawer. The rest of the papers ended up on the floor next to his desk. Just in time, too. 

"It's open," Seifer called when he heard a light knock on the front door. He glanced at the alarm clock. 09.21 am. Apparently today's instructor was anything butpunctual. Looking up to see who it was he found that it didn't surprise him to see Irvine Kinneas coming in. Figures. Everyone else had probably less-than-respectfully declined to tutor him after yesterday's fiasco.

"Top o' the mornin'" the cowboy greeted with a tip of his hat as he strode through the dorm's tiny hallway and into the main room.

Seifer replied with a nod. "Morning, sir."

The sharpshooter raised his brows and took out the book he had been holding under one arm. "Don't 'sir' me, Seifer," he started as he opened the book. "I'm not old or monogamous enough to be a 'sir'."

Seifer stifled a chuckle. How this guy had ever managed to fit his personality in the tight regime of a military organisation was completely beyond him.

Not waiting for a reply, Irvine continued to leave through the pages under his hand. "The schedule they gave me says I've got to quiz you on GF's and junctioning," he finally said. Then he slammed the book shut. "Pretty useless if you ask me."

"What is? Junctioning?"

"No, quizzing a war veteran with a proven track record in the magic department on the simple basics."

This time Seifer allowed himself to smirk, albeit humourlessly. "I know. Too bad I've got to go by the rules on this."

"Pointless waste of time. If you'd been SeeD, you'd be top level by now, just like the rest of us."

It was the 'if'-part that stung the most. "I _am _top level, damnit," he growled, mostly to himself.

"And everyone knows that," Irvine agreed with a shrug. "Hell, our dear esteemed leaders wouldn't be so skittish about letting you in if they weren't so damn afraid of being on the receiving end of one of your moves. I mean, you killed Odin with _one_ blow, for fuck's sake!"

"You better believe it."

"Oh yeah, I do. And so does everyone on the staff. It's because they recognise that that they're making you stick to protocol like stink on fish."

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Tell me something I _don't _know…"

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

He frowned. "Huh? What?"

"Well, why did it?"

"…I don't know?"

Irvine grinned wolfishly. "Ha, got you!"

Seifer just gave the cowboy a blank look, which earned him a hearty slap on the shoulder.

"Lighten up, man! Making it through those tests'll be a piece of cake for you. And once you do, they'll be practically begging you to join our forces."

The atmosphere instantly weighed down on itself when Seifer looked the other man in the eye.

"Will they now?" he demanded solemnly.

"Well… Ah, shit." Irvine looked away, grimacing. "No, they probably won't. Hell will have to freeze over before Xu and Quisty'll _want_ you in. But I'm pretty sure they'll let you, though."

"And you base that on what exactly?"

Irvine sighed and sat himself down on the edge of the neatly made bed. "Because they're not sure they want to make you their enemy. I reckon they don't think it unlikely you'll try to blow up Garden again if they kick you out."

The innuendo in his words was clear, but Seifer said nothing to confirm or deny it. He didn't know how much the cowboy knew yet, and he wasn't going to blow his cover by assuming anything. And he didn't have to. After a short pause, Irvine told him:

"Y'know, Squall called the whole staff in this morning. Told us 'bout what you two discussed last night." The sharpshooter eyed him carefully. "It's a cover-up to keep you from getting expelled, innit?" Seifer felt himself pale. Irvine obviously noticed, because he nodded. "I figured as much," he said. "Don't worry, I didn't say anything 'bout it."

Seifer worked his jaw. His throat was dry. "Much appreciated," he finally managed.

"You're welcome. Considering what ya told me, I can imagine the truth wasn't an option. But Squall's version sounds perfectly plausible. Even Selphie had to admit that."

"That's at least something…" He leaned back against the desk. "But then accepting an explanation is not the same as forgiving, is it?"

Irvine sighed. "No. No, that it ain't."

There was a long pause in which neither man moved. The air was laden with implications and possible consequences. Seifer didn't want to think about it too much, but it wouldn't let go of him. If Irvine had seen through Squall's story, then who else had? The whole situation hung over him like a guillotine, ready to fall and take off his head at the slightest word. It made him wonder just how drunk he'd been when he had decided that coming back to Garden would be a good idea.

His morbid train of thoughts was derailed by a sudden and very trivial question:

"Have you had breakfast yet?"

Seifer blinked a few times at the cowboy, but then shook his head. "Alarm clock died on me," he lied quickly.

"So you wanna go grab something to eat? Or do you want to waste time on 'Junctioning 101'?"

That was easy. "Breakfast sounds better."

"Thought as much." Irvine grinned widely. Then he pulled a paper out of his coat pocket. "Still got to grade the quiz, though. Got a pen I can use?"

Seifer silently pulled one from the desk drawer and handed it over. He watched as his instructor tested it on a corner of the answer sheet and then scrawled a dramatic 'A' in the designated box. The cowboy pursed his lips, wrote something else on the top of the sheet and then handed the pen back.

Seifer frowned. "Not that I'm complaining about my grade, but shouldn't there be some actual answers on that?"

"Nope. I just made it an oral exam," Irvine said as he got up and tucked the paper away while giving Seifer a very obvious wink. "Let's hope Quisty'll take that term at face value, shall we?"

* * *

"An oral exam?" 

"It's exactly that," Irvine insisted. "No pun intended."

Quistis shot him a sharp stare over the rim of her glasses. "It had better be, or I'll kick _both_ your asses out of Garden this instant." Her words were just a standard reply to one of Irvine's tasteless jokes, but it was pretty obvious that she wasn't kidding if he wasn't.

Standing behind Irvine, Seifer pretty much found himself wishing he'd just taken the stupid test. Not going to the cafeteria would have saved him from running into Garden's Chief Instructor, who apparently had also postponed breakfast. Not that meeting her was bad per se. It could have been a perfect opportunity to do some of Irvine's suggested sucking up, if not for the fact she had insisted on knowing why he was here instead of in his room taking the test before he could get a word in. Fortunately Irvine had come to his aid at that point, but _un_fortunately, Irvine also had the tendency to make inappropriate jokes to people without a sense of humour. Hence the fact that the look in Quistis' eyes said that even creating a vacuum wouldn't be enough for either of them to get on her good side.

"Well Seifer," she said smoothly as she looked from Irvine to him. "It seems that between rattling everyone's nerves and blowing your own chances, you managed to score quite well in your exams. Full marks for all theory subjects." She took off her glasses. "I didn't know you had it in you. I'm impressed."

"Thank you, Ma'am," he answered, pretending to ignore the sarcasm in her voice.

She smiled sweetly. "I give credit where credit is due."

If she'd been addressing anyone else, he'd have winced and informed that person on how much trouble they were in. Unfortunately, she'd been addressing _him _and the amount of trouble implied didn't need further explanation. Obviously the Commander's information session earlier that morning didn't sit well with the Chief Instructor. First Irvine, now her… He cursed mentally. Five hours into the game and his proverbial guillotine was already quivering violently.

All the more reason for his hackles to rise even further when Quistis folded the newspaper she'd been reading when they arrived, put it on her empty breakfast tray and gestured them to sit down at her table.

"Have a seat, gentlemen. Or are you going eat standing up?"

Irvine made some trite remark in response, but Seifer didn't catch it as he was too busy thinking of a way to get out of there without giving dear Quisty more ammo to fire at his case than she already had. He couldn't think of anything fast enough, though, so when Irvine accepted her invitation he had no choice but to follow his instructor of the day and sit down.

He listened to Irvine striking up an idle conversation with Quistis, but he could tell she was paying as little attention to what the cowboy actually said as he was. Over the table and past the rambling sharpshooter, he could see she was eyeing him. But it was nothing like he'd ever seen on her face before. Unlike a year ago, her glare was now challenging rather than nervous, while he found himself wanting to look away instead of staring her down like he used to. Unsettling as that was, what worried him most was the tiny smirk tugging at her lips. He knew what that smirk. It oozed confidence. Better yet: _self-_confidence.

He was right. She did have something on him to nail his ass with for whatever she wanted, and she knew it.

"So, Seifer, why don't you let us in on your secret?"

Her sudden question took him by surprise, as well as the purr in her voice. The comparison of a cat playing with her food came to mind.

"Secret, Ma'am? What secret?" he inquired innocently between sips of coffee.

Quistis pursed her lips, choosing her words carefully. "How you manage to change people so profoundly. It's really remarkable what your return has brought about in that respect."

He arched his brows. " 'Xcuse me?"

"It's amazing to see how some people are affected by your presence in Garden," she elaborated dramatically. "And affected so differently than before, too."

"If this is about Selphie," he stated gruffly, "I believe Sq… Commander Leonheart already informed you about the ins and outs of that matter."

"Oh, this is not about that. Or at least, not just about that…"

It wasn't until now that Seifer realised that the silly faces Irvine was making were actually signals telling him not to go down this road. As with all the things in his life, the warning came too late.

Quistis smiled knowingly as she leaned forward, chin resting on her folded fingers. "Personally, I'm more interested in how you affect Squall. Wouldn't you agree that two of you are getting very_… close _these days?"

"What are you implying, _Ma'am_?" Seifer snarled, more nervous than he'd let on. "People change, especially under the stress of war. Squall understands that I'm no more the arrogant bully I was than you are the insecure instructor who couldn't lead a class to save her life."

In the corner of his eye he saw Irvine wince. Quistis indeed wasn't amused.

"A very ill-expressed compliment, if that was indeed what it was," she hissed. "But I think you know very well what I mean. All his life, Squall has hated your guts. And then, after everything you've done to us, you simply come walking back and he actually _welcomes_ you? Don't you think that's a bit strange? Because I know _I_ do."

Seifer narrowed his eyes, trying not to rise to the bait she was dangling in front of him.

"I wouldn't know," he answered between his teeth. "All I know is that I never truly hated Squall, and that I simply surrendered myself to you lot to get something out of it for both Garden and myself. If you want to know what changed for him then ask _him_, not me!"

A short silence followed his outburst. The few cadets who'd been hanging around in the cafeteria were now quietly but quickly scrambling for the exit. A few feet to the left, Irvine slowly removed his hands from his face and started gathering courage to break the hostility. But as soon as he drew breath to speak, Quistis cut him short.

"What are you doing, Seifer?" she demanded, keeping her voice low.

In his own attempt to keep his self-control, Seifer sighed deeply. "I'm just trying to make SeeD, Ma'am."

She shook her head, obviously irritated. "Not that. Why's Squall so eager to keep you here?"

"I told you, I don't know." A lie, of course. One he didn't expect the angry woman across him to accept, although he hoped she would. But no such luck.

"Don't give me that crap, Almasy. You know what I mean." She shot him a devastating glare. "If Ultimecia really messed with your mind the way Squall say she did, then it's not at all improbable that you picked up a few mind-warping tricks of your own, now is it?"

He froze. As his mind grasped the full extend of her accusation, it also desperately tried to ignore the whistling sound of the guillotine blade coming down at him.

* * *

A/N: Oh yeah, the hole's getting deeper and deeper. And they haven't hit rock-bottom just yet! Please R&R 


	12. Chapter 12

With a deep sigh, Squall looked at the clock on the wall again. Five past ten. Three minutes later than last time he checked. He moved some papers around on his desk, but he couldn't find the concentration to actually read any of them. No doubt some of them were important. Whatever. Screw it.

The staff briefing hadn't gone quite as well as he would have liked, but then ideal worlds didn't exist. It had been obvious that although no one spoke out as such, none of the staff had really believed his explanation of Seifer's actions. But he took at least a little comfort that Selphie of all people seemed to accept it as a possibility. Perhaps it just needed a few days of Seifer behaving like a model student for his story to gain any foothold. He rubbed his face and glanced up again. Seven past ten…

Staring at the clock would only make the day seem longer. With a heavy sigh, he gave the papers another shot. On top of the nearest stack was an envelope donning the logo of his credit card company. Normally he wasn't interested in specifications of things that were already paid for. He made too much money to begin with. But recalling Rinoa's confession earlier, he decided to actually open the envelope this time.

He drew out two paper slips, not nearly as packed with charges as he had anticipated. Skimming them, he recognised the names of a few popular fashion shops and restaurants in Deling City. And there were a few descriptions consisting of numbers only and which seemed to make no sense. He wouldn't have given them a second thought if not for the sum of these charges. There were five in all, the smallest one amounting to 4000 Gil.

He frowned. Using a credit card wasn't something he'd ever given much thought, but his instinct told him these charges were odd. He was just about to go through his desk drawers and find last month's envelope when the door of his office burst open.

"Squall Leonheart, you've got no idea of the trouble you're in, mister!"

He arched a brow. Was it just him or were the women in his life making a habit of invading his office with as much noise as possible?

"I probably don't," he replied deadpan when her stomping invasion ended in front of his desk. "But I'm sure you'll enlighten me."

Rinoa made a face, wagging her finger at him. "Selphie told me where you were at last night."

_Here it comes,_ he thought. He had hoped that the half a dozen cups of coffee he'd had that morning would make having this conversation easier than facing it on an empty stomach at six am. It wasn't. Damn.

"I'm sure she did, Rin," he sighed, "But did she also tell you _why_ I was there?"

"She told me you said something about talking to Seifer all night. But I know better than that. I bet you two were going at it all night!"

He blanched, suppressing the urge to swallow hard. "Going at what?" he asked with a tight throat.

"At each other! The only reason you'd come for a change of clothes after being out all night is when you've been at the Training Centre again. And I'm sure Seifer was there, too." She held up her fingers and made mock-quotes in the air. "Sparring 'for old times sake', no doubt."

Squall exhaled sharply. He wasn't sure if her sarcastic words were literal or if she actually knew what had really happened. Then again, was she smart enough to play a subtle game like that? He decided to take the risk of ignoring the possible hint.

"If it makes you feel better, we weren't in the Training Centre, and the only sparring we did was arguing."

Rinoa squinted. "That must have been some argument then. You were out all night! What could be so much more important than sleeping with me?"

He was very inclined to say 'sleeping with Seifer', but there were less messy ways of committing suicide, so he opted for something more prudent. "I had to find out if Seifer was or wasn't brainwashed during the war. Turns out he was. In a very nasty way."

"And you actually believe him?"

Her tone of voice rapidly melted his patience with her. He looked down and tried to collect himself. His eye lingered on the logo of the credit card company, staring up at him from his desk.

"Hold that. There's something else I want to ask you about." He picked up the slips and held them out to her. "What are these unspecified charges for?"

Obviously caught off guard, Rinoa warily glanced at the lines of numbers he pointed out to her. She shrugged. "Could be anything. Some shops don't give a name, or the payments are handled by some specialised transaction-thing company. Happens all the time."

Squall pursed his lips. "I'm sure you recall whatever it was you bought. The charges run into several thousand Gill this month alone."

"Maybe an evening dress or something. Gowns can be really expensive, and since you always claim you don't care how much I spent…"

"I don't. But I do care what you spent it on, and if you'd bought a new dress, no way you'd _not_ dangle it in front of me to show it off."

She gave him a blank look.

Squall stared back at her, possible explanations for her expenses and her current lack of response playing through his mind. "So what is it, if not a new dress?" he said solemnly. "Some kind of 'discrete' charge? Is that why there's no company name?"

"Ow, Squall…"

He pressed her with his eyes. "Is it?"

Rinoa bit her lip and looked away. It was the only answer he needed. "Damnit, Rinoa! Do you think I'm stupid?" he demanded, feeling the blood rise to his face. "I watch late night television as well, you know. I'm well aware of the kind of services that promise discrete credit card transactions."

She shook her head vigorously. "It's nothing like that! It's… It's just…" She stopped when he locked eyes with her, steely irises conveying his thoughts more effectively than words could. And when she didn't reply, her secret was no longer that.

"I should have known…" he muttered as he yanked the top drawer open, dropped the slips into it and slammed it shut again.

"Squall?"

He ignored her, grabbing Lionheart from its case as he rounded his desk and then headed for the door.

"Wait!" she called after him. "I can explain!"

He made a dismissive gesture without even looking at her. "Save it. I'm off."

"But…where're you going?"

"Anywhere but here!"

* * *

A lone caterchipiller wobbled through the Balamb woods looking for food. It had managed to lose the two bite bugs that had been following all day, so it wouldn't have to share whatever piece of meat it found. Then, smelling something that could be lunch, it followed a fresh scent trail to a small clearing. It had just recognised its next meal as a wayward human when a huge ball of light came straight at it. The creature barely had time to screech when flames engulfed its body and reduced it to ashes within seconds.

Some twenty feet away, still sporting fire in his upturned hand, Seifer watched how his magic turned the monster into a smouldering heap of dust. But it gave him no sense of satisfaction, no more than the demise of the various other monsters he'd torched in the last hour had. He tried to tell himself that it was because they were too weak to be a challenge, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that they just weren't the right person.

The flames in his palm flared when he thought of the accusations Quistis had made. She'd pushed all the right buttons, and before long he'd stormed out of Garden to keep himself from burning the place down there and then, with her in it.

But despite putting physical distance between both her and her allegations, the fire wouldn't die. It raged inside his body and his mind, pouring out of his hand and eyes like blood from a fresh wound. Lively flames licked his bare fingers without burning him. At a flick of the wrist, anything he focussed on burned to a crisp in matter of seconds. The clearing in which he stood was lined with charred vegetation and heaps of ashes where other unfortunate monsters had preceded the large grub. The only evidence that this wasn't the result of a mindless onslaught was the carefully folded black leather coat lying on a nearby log, and the silver orb carefully nested between its folds.

Retreating to a relatively safe place and incinerating everything that came within a fifty-foot radius was the only thing he could think of to blow off some steam after what happened in the cafeteria. The insinuations he could deal with, but recalling Quistis' blatant accusation of him still being in league with Ultimecia and his friendship with Squall being some devious plan on her part, the fire in his hand rose until it enveloped his arm all the way up to his shoulder.

It had been a very long time since he'd been _this_ angry.

Another shrub went up in smoke for his frustration. Then he heard the sound of rustling leaves behind him, and he swung around to torch whatever creature was coming at him the moment it came into sight. But he stopped himself the instant he saw it was human, and more importantly, wearing the uniform of a Balamb Garden staff officer. A heartbeat later he recognised the face above the star-lined collar.

"Are you going to make a habit out of sneaking up on me?" he hissed between clenched teeth.

He had expected stern remark, or at least a frown in reply. But when Squall stepped into the clearing, the SeeD Commander said nothing, his face a mask of shock and surprise. Lionheart hung loosely in his bare hand, and his general appearance was slightly dishevelled. Obviously he'd been fighting, too.

Despite standing on the verge of losing the last bit of self-control, Seifer did realise the significance of Squall taking on critters while in uniform. Clearly he wasn't here for a planned training session. Seifer guessed someone had told him Garden's problem child had been at it again, and he'd been in a rush to come down here. He growled.

"If you're going to arrest me or something, get the fuck on with it!"

Squall stared at him for a moment longer, but then shook his head. "Arrest? No. No, why would I?"

Still literally furious, Seifer nevertheless forced himself to step down and abandon his battle stance. No matter how angry he was, he wasn't going to take it out on the one person he cared for the most. But while the flames in his hand died, the fire in his eyes kept burning fiercely.

Squall's eyes in turn darted around the scorched bushes before locking on Seifer's face. "What is going on here?" he asked urgently.

Seifer sneered. "Let's call it training, shall we?"

"The Hell it is!" Squall exclaimed, more in disbelieve than in anger. "You're not supposed to use magic. Shouldn't even be able to. Shiva…" He stopped when Seifer pointed at the silver orb contrasting sharply against the dark leather of his coat. Without a word, Squall went over to the log and picked the orb up. Then he looked up at Seifer again, disappointment obvious.

"Why? I thought we had a deal on this?"

Seifer shrugged. "She begged me to. Apparently I was getting too hot to handle."

The orb dissolved as Squall junctioned his favourite GF. He kept his eyes closed for a moment. When he opened them again, most of the previous confusion had gone.

"You're not lying," the brunet announced, probably based on what Shiva had just told him. "And I understand why you're so angry."

"I'm overjoyed. And what are you going to do about it?"

Squall stepped up to him and gently placed his hand on Seifer's shoulder. "Calm you down. From what I saw the last few minutes, you'll torch the entire forest if you don't get a grip."

Seifer felt the fire behind his eyes flare, fuelled as much by the hand touching him as by his unrelenting fury. "I'll blow the fucking place to shreds if she doesn't take it back!"

"Seifer…"

"I'm serious! I know the whole world's against me, but this is the limit!"

"Seifer."

Heat was radiating from him and there was nothing about his eyes that reminded of their natural colour. "Shiva told you 'bout what that bitch said, right? That I'm fucking with your mind like the next bleedin' Sorceress!" The grass under his feet was smoking now.

Squall's face set. "Seifer! Calm down!"

"Don't you Seifer me! She has no right to say I'm still…"

"Seiferrrr…"

"…in league with that psycho freak Ultim…"

He was stopped mid-sentence when Squall grabbed his face and kissed him forcefully. Taken completely by surprise, Seifer blinked a few times before the situation sank in. But when it did, he leaned into it with a passion, the fire of his emotions burning as brightly for desire as it had for anger a few moments earlier.

Squall's tongue was cold to his mouth, literally cooling him down and making him realise just how close he'd come to losing himself. The brunet's cold fingers stroking his neck and soft lips pressing firmly on his slowly brought him back to his senses. He drank the embrace, silently acknowledging that which he had always known: he needed Squall. Not being near the sultry youth would be the death of him, one way or another.

Much sooner than he would have liked, though, Squall broke their kiss. "You're burning up," he said tentatively, a worried frown creasing his forehead.

"It's nothing," Seifer responded, a lot calmer now.

But the brunet didn't look convinced. "Are you sick?"

"Sick of the situation maybe, but otherwise, no." He sounded tired, even to himself. As usual after an episode like this, he was feeling drained now the fire had died down. He looked the still sceptical Squall in the eye, willing his body to return to its normal state.

"This better?"

Trained but slender hands touched his cheeks and forehead. Once satisfied Squall nodded, but while his hands slacked, the frown on his face didn't fade. "How'd you do that?" he asked softly.

"Do what?"

"Break a bad fever like that."

Seifer smiled for a moment, feeling both embarrassed and delighted for Squall's concern. "No fever. It's just something that happens when…" He sighed, smile faltering. "It happens when I lose my cool, literally," he finally admitted. "If left unchecked, my magic heats up everything around me, sending my body temperature soaring and burning everything I touch. I can take it, though."

Squall suddenly looked very wary. "Magic? Seifer, the only kind of magic that can do something like that is…"

"Is a Sorceress' magic. Yeah, I know. I was a Knight, too, remember?"

His harsh tone didn't seem to bother Squall, but the steely eyes did waver for a moment. Seifer shook his head. "Forget I said that. But you're right, this kind of elemental magic is the kind Sorceresses possess."

"Ultimecia?"

"Yes, but not the way you think."

Grey eyes blinked. "…I think you lost me now."

Seifer turned away and walked over to the log to sit down on his coat. "It's a long story." He nudged to his side.

Accepting the silent invitation, Squall came over and sat down beside him.

"I don't really know where to start," Seifer said after deep sigh and a short pause. "Everything's all tied up to everything else."

Squall glanced at him. "The beginning is usually a good place to start."

"There's no beginning to a circle, Squall. But I'll try to explain." He took a deep breath and fixed his eyes on a semi-charred shrub on the other side of the clearing. "Like I said, I got this fire magic from Ultimecia, but not when I was her Knight. Actually, she once said she wanted me as her Knight because I had these powers."

"That makes sense."

"More than you'd like. Do you recall coming out of Time Compression in the wrong time? At the orphanage, some thirteen years too early?"

Squall's head snapped up, and Seifer could see he was paling quickly. "I never told anyone but the gang about that. How'd you know?"

"'Cause I was there. As a five-year-old."

"…I saw my four-year old self, too. But I never recalled seeing myself at age seventeen when I was little."

Seifer smirked knowingly. "Using Guardian Forces'll do that to you."

"So? You used them, too."

"Only for practise. I hurts me to junction them. Ask Shiva, I'm sure she'll tell you it was no picnic for her either."

Squall fazed out for a moment, but then nodded in confirmation.

"So not having junctioned GF's that often," Seifer continued, "I didn't forget nearly half as much as the rest of you. Especially not the things that were important to me."

"Like?"

"Like you. But one thing at a time: Back then, at the orphanage, you witnessed a dying Ultimecia dropping out of Time Compression and passing on her powers to Matron, correct?"

Squall just nodded.

"And when she did that, there were lots of purple energy balls shooting around, right?"

"Yeah, but… How do you know that?"

"I know because for some reason she lost concentration, and one of those balls didn't go to Matron but to me." He slammed his fist in the opposite palm. "Bam! Instant Fire Mage."

A fresh look of confusion appeared in Squall's eyes. "A mage?"

Seifer shrugged. "Hey, I'm not a Sorceress, not by a long shot. But it's definitely more than the para-magic Garden teaches us. I'm limited to fire magic only, though. For everything else I still need GF's, but since I'd rather avoid junctioning them, I just keep a few potions in my pockets."

Squall looked flustered. "That… does explain a few things about your battle tactics." He rubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to make sense of this new information. Seifer let him, until at long last Squall looked up again. "So what else can you do? How far can you go?"

Seifer made to answer, but suddenly stopped. "Listen," he whispered, motioning Squall to pay attention to their surroundings. For a long minute, both men listened to the sounds of the forest. Heavy footsteps. Something was coming closer. Something big.

At that moment, a large T-rexsaur burst from the foliage, ready to attack.

In a split second, Squall jumped to his feet, Lionheart at the ready. Eyes fixed on the monster, the brief touch of fingers to his forehead summoned Shiva to the battle. But even before the ice goddess manifested herself, the T-rexsaur roared in pain. In the same instant tall flames burst from its body, consuming it completely even before the beast had keeled over. The battled hadn't lasted more than a few seconds. Shocked, Squall whipped around to look at Seifer.

A few feet behind him, still sitting on the log, Seifer lowered his right hand as his eyes faded from red back to green.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked solemnly.

Stupefied, Squall looked from him to the T-rex's ashes and back again. "This…How… Is this what you did to Odin?"

"Ah, no. That was just sheer brute force."

"Brute force? Seifer, you slashed the GF of Death in half, for crying out loud!"

The blonde shrugged. "Yeah well, that's a side effect of controlling pure magic: I can junction it to myself. And that kind of enhances my stats."

A look that said 'figures' passed over Squall's face. "Like Ultimecia did… No wonder you were a pest to beat, even three-to-one." He jostled Lionheart in his hand a few times. "Did Quistis know just how much she was playing with fire when she baited you?"

Seifer shook his head. "No, I don't think she knew how close she got to ending up like that T-rex."

For a long moment, bird song was the only noise to be heard.

"Would you?" Squall asked after a while. "Would you kill one of us in a fit of rage?"

Seifer rose to his feet and casually strode over to the younger man. He halted briefly, taking in the sight of Squall's fine face before leaning in for a tender kiss. He felt the younger man respond, but broke contact before either of them would lose an entirely different kind of self-control. Parting, he looked into the famed bright eyes.

"No, I wouldn't," he answered honestly. "Although that doesn't mean I don't do stupid things when I go overboard." He smirked ruthlessly. "Y'know, you caught me in time, or it wouldn't be the first time I burned the clothes I'm wearing."

Squall actually grinned back at him. "I should've waited then."

"Hehe, I'm sure you would…"

He left his words hanging and sauntered back to the log to retrieve his coat. But he froze when he reached for it.

"Hold on, this is not good."

The sudden mood change alarmed Squall. He quickly crossed the distance and then followed the Seifer's gaze to Hyperion's black blade resting against the log. He looked puzzled.

"What's wrong?"

"When I left the cafeteria, I came straight down here," Seifer explained tersely.

"So?"

"_So _I didn't have Hyperion with me."

The mask of Commander slammed over Squall's face. "Shit. Who?"

"Anyone with a key to my room and a clue to my whereabouts. My guess it's either Quistis or Irvine. Or both."

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing sharply. "Oh. Fuck."


	13. Chapter 13

Seifer didn't have to see Squall's face to know the other man's state of mind: he could actually sense the Commander aura pulling up around him. No doubt Squall was thinking up a dozen-and-a-half ways to plug the gargantuan political leak they had on their hands. He didn't envy the brunet; this would be a tough one to explain. So he decided to leave the brainwork to those better qualified for it and focus his own efforts at what he was good at: hunting the bastard down.

He glanced around, taking in everything he saw and filtering the information for clues. It didn't take him more than a few seconds to spot something vital: on the other side of the log, in a semi-dried pool of mud, was a fresh partial footprint. It featured a prominent, sharp heel that, judging by the size, belonged to a male boot. Taking an educated guess and a huge gamble, he stared into the bushes up ahead and opened season:

"You can come out now, Kinneas!" It was a long shot. Either Irvine was as good at hiding as a sharpshooter should be, or he was long gone. Calling the cowboy's bluff was the only way to be sure. But his gamble held. Before long, a cowboy hat jumped up from the bushes some fifteen feet away, to be followed quickly by the rest of its owner.

"You've got a sharp eye there, Almasy," Irvine said with a goofy grin. "Most critters don't spot me when I hide."

Seifer sneered. "I'm not a critter."

"Obviously. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"How long have you been there?" Squall demanded at a tone that could make a bonfire freeze over. Emphasizing the question, Seifer slung Hyperion onto his shoulder, in full view.

Suitably unnerved, Irvine shrugged. "Not long."

Squall cocked his head.

"Okay, okay! So I saw a few things not for my eyes." All pretended goofiness was gone now. As far as Seifer could tell, Irvine was well aware that what he'd seen could have serious consequences for all three of them, especially if either Squall or the ex-Knight decided that three was a crowd in their secret. Seifer let the cowboy ponder that one a little longer.

When neither man spoke, the sharpshooter conducted his own reasoning:

"Look, what do I stand to gain from spilling your private beans, ey? You're my friend, Squall, and I'd never do anything to hurt you or your reputation as Garden Commander. And what I've learned 'bout Seifer lately says he may be rash, but he ain't evil." He glanced at Seifer, who grinned maniacally in return. "And he's got a big-ass blade. That and my will to live's enough reason to keep what I saw to myself."

"So can we trust you?" Seifer pressed.

Irvine nodded. "I've seen you guys in battle. Do you really think I'd take the chance of making either of you my enemy?"

"Not unless your stupid."

"Well, Quisty may be, but I'm not." He studied their response as he stepped out of the bushes and into the clearing. "Yeah, the old girl suspected something like this goin' on between you two, but I get nothing out of confirming her suspicions for her but both your blades in my chest. And that ain't worth the merit points she might give."

His reply was answered by a deep silence that was broken only by stony glares. Until Seifer suddenly started to laugh:

"I believe you, cowboy. I know I shouldn't, but I do!" Then he leaned forward, whispering. "Because, you know, I _will_ plant Hyperion in your heart if you tell anyone."

Irvine gave him a rare look of complete seriousness. "I know you make good on your promises, Almasy. At least this kind."

By this time Squall folded his arms before his chest. "Point taken, people. Can you two cut the macho-act?" he asked irritably.

Seifer nodded. "Just one more thing." He turned back to Irvine. "Why stay after dropping off the blade and risk exposure?"

The sharpshooter shrugged and put on his best cheesy grin. "Call it eavesdropping if you want. I was just curious. Didn't think you'd find me."

"Yeah, well, remember I told you about what curiosity does to cats?"

Irvine chuckled. "Hehehe, so you guys keep tellin' me."

"Now if you two will focus on a more practical issue?" Squall waited for both of them to give him their full attention. "It's no use trying to hide we ran into each other. So we go back to Garden together. If anyone asks, we met up long the way and decided to train as a team."

"Does that mean you're going to lie to me, Squall?"

Seifer's hackled shot up at hearing the female voice he hated most but had so far succeeded to avoid. Trying to hide his hostility towards the Sorceress, he watched intently as Rinoa crossed the clearing. She had an air about her that was totally different from anything he'd ever seen on her, but that nonetheless eerily familiar. He suppressed the urge to block her path when she stepped up to the totally stupefied Squall.

"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" she purred at her boyfriend.

Seifer had a few answers ready for her, but he bit his tongue. It wasn't his place to argue with her. This was either a couple's quarrel, or a fight between a Sorceress and her Knight. Either way it was going to be both very nasty and very much not his business. At least not yet. For now, he'd watch and wait to see what'd happen next.

After simply staring at Rinoa for a few moments, Squall tried to collect enough of himself to form a coherent sentence. And it was a masterpiece:

"W…What are you doing here?"

She smiled. "We-hell, I thought I'd follow you to make up after our fall-out in your office. But then I got to witness you cheating on me and I wasn't so sure about the making-up part anymore. So now I think I'm just here to propose to you."

Squall blinked. "Propose?"

"Yeah, propose. You know, as in 'will you marry me?'" She brushed his nose with her finger. "I know it'd be so much more romantic if you'd get on your knees and ask me in stead of me doing all the work. But, I know you suck at romance, so I though I'd ask you and make sure it gets done properly."

He blinked a few more times. "I don't get it."

Rinoa sighed dramatically. "I was going to do this in private, but then Seifer and Irvine each have their reasons to keep this to themselves anyway, sooo… it's _really_ simple, Squall. _I_ need money to spend. I can't get a job, and I can't go anywhere, all on account of me being a Sorceress. So I need to keep myself busy all day and to do that I need money. _Your_ money." He opened his mouth to protest, but she hushed him up. "Let me finish. On top of what I need, I believe_ you_ are in need of a mask to hide your sexual preference, since, as we all know, sexual promiscuity is not permitted in Garden and least of all in their commanding officer."

"And why would _you _cover for me?" Squall countered defensively.

"Because I'd get top gill for it," she smirked. "And I'd get my own perks the same way I'm getting them now, namely on your credit card."

Irvine swallowed audibly and glanced over at Seifer, his eyes asking a silent 'did you know that?'. Seifer clenched his jaw. No, he hadn't known just how poor Squall's relationship with Rinoa really was. But now he did know, he searched Rinoa for signs of a serious side effect that this domestic crisis could cause, or might already have.

"A marriage of convenience would solve both our problems," Rinoa continued. "What do you say?"

Squall snorted. "And if I refuse?"

A malicious glint passed over her face. "I'm sure Xu and Quistis would love to know exactly what kind of discussion you had with Seifer last night. Am I right?" She searched his eyes. "Yes, I am."

Squall blanched. "What makes you think you are?"

"Your hair was already wet when you came for your clothes. And I know for a fact you _never_ use the common showers outside the Training Centre. What's more, I'm not the only one who connected those two dots."

"And you waited with confronting me because…?"

She laughed. "Oh Squall, baby, if I told you everything I know every time I found out, I'd have burned my bridges behind me long ago." She traced his neck down to his collarbone. "We live together. We don't need to have sex with you to see you naked." Her finger plucked at the fine silver chain she found under his shirt. "But since you found out about my wavering loyalty this morning, there's no reason for me to hide that I've known about yours all along."

Seifer's breath hitched in his throat, thoughts and calculations tumbling over themselves in his head. Until a moment ago it hadn't even crossed his mind, but in hindsight he should've suspected something when Squall had responded so eagerly to him. Without love for Rinoa, Squall couldn't be her Knight. But for how long? A month, three months? Longer? And since it was very doubtful Rinoa would have had the self-control to bind her powers, they'd been left unchecked all this time. With possibly devastating consequences.

From the look on Squall's face, the same thought had occurred to him, too. "It's not _just _the money you need, is it?" Squall stated. "You need a Knight. And I'm the only one who'll fit the bill."

Rinoa frowned as if he had mentioned something she's completely forgotten about. "Oh, yes…I guess I should have one, shouldn't I?" She grinned wickedly in his face.

That was all Seifer needed to make this argument his business. "Rinoa!" he barked to get her attention. It worked. The Sorceress glared at him. Then she fished the silver cross sword pendant from Squall's clothes, hanging it from her finger in display.

"Did you know he's worn this ever since the war ended?" she asked, looking Seifer in the eyes. "Can you possibly imagine the hatred I feel for you since finding out about this, on top of all the other things you did to me?"

"I can," he answered truthfully but not without a hint of sarcasm. "I always knew you were the jealous type."

"Jealousy has nothing to do with this!" she suddenly yelled. "He swore me an oath, and he broke it! _Over you!!_"

Squall, who had played docile until now, yanked his necklace from her hand and took a few steps back. "It's not as if you didn't give me reason, Rin. I tried, but you always wanted what I couldn't give you." He stared at her, disappointment evident in his eyes. "I couldn't have stopped this from happening, even if I'd seen it coming in time."

"You're right," she said. "You couldn't have. My Knight could have, but then you were never my Knight."

Squall shook his head. "I was, once. When I saved you from the cryo-freeze I thought I was doing the right thing. I tried to protect you. Hell, I went to the Moon and back for you!"

She closed in on him, her face a rigid mask of spite. "It's not the things you do for your Sorceress that makes you her Knight, Squall. It's what you _feel_ for her. And obligation doesn't cut it." She reached her hand out to him. "If you had ever been my Knight, you'd have known that."

"And you still want to set up a marriage of convenience?"

She looked at him. "No. I changed my mind. I think I'll just kill you and be done with it."

Seifer watched in horror as Squall began to levitate. Two things were painfully clear now: this woman wasn't Rinoa anymore, and there was no telling what she'd do to Squall before executing her threat. He opted to leave Hyperion at his side, but inside his magic soared in preparation for the inevitable. Making sure the flames were visible, he made eye contact with Irvine, silently telling him what to do.

Irvine nodded despite his obvious reluctance. He levelled his gun and aimed at the woman. "Don't do anything stupid, Rinoa," he pleaded. "We're trained SeeD. We're supposed to kill Sorceresses if they cross the line. I don't want to have to resort to that…"

She stared at them. "But you will if you have to? Pathetic, Irvine. I was there when you were supposed to shoot Edea, remember? I know you can't do it. You don't have the guts!"

The sharpshooter glanced nervously at Seifer, who understood immediately.

"Maybe he doesn't. But _I_ do. Wanna risk that?"

Rinoa chuckled. "I could ask you the same question. I'm not Ultimecia, _boy_."

"And ain't you fucking proud of that," he hissed between clenched teeth. "Do you _really_ think you can outdo her? You've been a Sorceress for what, six months? She had the experience of several lifetimes. She knew how to really _hurt_ people. No way you can beat her at those games. And trust me, I got to play them all."

But Rinoa didn't seem to be impressed. "I've got the powers of _three _Sorceresses." She moved the totally frozen Squall through the air as affirmation. "I'm so much more powerful than any of you can imagine!"

Seifer's eyes narrowed, and his mouth pulled up in a smirk. "That may be, but there are still a few things you don't know."

"Such as?"

"Try me, and you'll find out."

Baiting her didn't work as well as he had hoped, though. She just gave him a coy look but then turned her attention back on Squall. "I'll play with you, Seifer, but not now. You first get to watch how I extract the life out of dear Squally here."

Seifer's rage grew rapidly. "Like Hell you will! I've been his Knight all my life, and I'm not about to stop now."

"_His_ Knight? I see…" She gave him a curious look. "I'm sure she found out before long, didn't she?"

He gritted his teeth. "She made me play all her games, Rinoa. I'm not letting you put Squall through the same!"

She threw her head back. "Ha! Empty words. Like all your promises, Almasy, **too little too late**!"

As she spoke the final words, her voice contorted horribly, immediately followed by her eyes. The Sorceress gold of her irises made way for an unnatural pitch-black that swallowed every visible part of her bulging eyes. Her arms stretched beyond human limits until her elongated fingers wrapped around Squall's throat, choking him.

In a flash, memories he had tried to forget flooded Seifer's mind: her nails in his skin; her voice in his head; being nailed to a pole by his hands while large icicles tore up his body. The pain he'd withstood to save Squall and the deep passion that kept him going against all odds. He should have died numerous times, but hadn't. He'd held on for Squall's sake. No _fucking way_ Rinoa was going to undo their decisions and their chances at the last moment. _No way in Hell!!_

All the magic's energy in his body discharged at the same instant and in the same direction, flaring uncontrolled at the focus of his fury. The world lit up with a blinding light. A high-pitched scream cut through the white haze, and for a moment he feared it was Squall. But before he could make sure, he felt a pulling sensation, followed by a series of blunt blows to his body. Thus beaten and dazed, Seifer tried to get his bearings, but his body and mind felt like they were about to rip to shreds. The pressure inside him increased further and further until he felt he couldn't resist it anymore. And then everything went black.

* * *

I apologise for the delay. Inspiration did a detour and got lost for a few weeks. But here's the update and more's on the way. Please review; I love to know what you think of the way things are going 


	14. Chapter 14

Squall welcomed the soothing sensation of curative magic washing through his body. It felt like waking from a long, deep sleep. At that realisation, his mind instantly kicked into gear, asking questions like 'where am I' and 'what happened'. The drowsiness drenching him was inherent to revival spells, which meant that there was a serious gap in his memory.

He tried to open his eyes, but found himself blinking against bright light shining in his face. He wanted to move away from it, but his body was weary to the point of unresponsive and it took a lot of effort to simply turn his head aside. Whatever had happened, it must have caught him badly.

Then a voice somewhere nearby whispered another spell and a second wave of healing magic came over him. It revitalised his muscles just enough to manage a shift in position, but it took a third spell before he could sit up and assess the situation. The first thing he saw when he did was Irvine's face. The cowboy had an apologetic look in his eyes that would have made sense had he been attending a funeral… A funeral?

_Oh God, someone died… Please don't tell me…_

"Seifer?!"

"He's okay," Irvine assured him with a wry smile. "Knocked out but alive. How are _you_ feeling?"

He had to think about that. The jolt of adrenaline his panic had provided was wearing off as quickly as it had come, leaving him tired beyond words. Eventually he came up with an answer that was both complete and truthful:

"Like Hell."

The sharpshooter smirked. "Heh, I guess you would."

The reason why it would was a bit hazy to him. "What happened?"

"What'd you recall?"

Another difficult question. He recalled kissing Seifer and the incredible heat of his mouth. He remembered fire magic that could consume monsters in a fraction of a second; magic that the blonde had received from a dying Ultimecia. He recalled Rinoa walking in on them, angry, spiteful and with weird ideas that failed to make sense to his numbed brain. He called floating, and gazing down pitch black eyes that had no trace of humanity left in them…

Squall shook his head. "She went rogue, didn't she? Like Ultimecia and Adel…" He looked at Irvine for confirmation, and got a slow nod in reply. The total lack of urgency on the cowboy's part told him what had happened in the minutes that were missing from his memory. He slowly got to his feet. "Where is she?"

He followed Irvine's lead to a large patch of scorched grass some fifteen feet further. At the centre of the black circle lay Seifer's black coat spread out over some small bumps. He looked back at Irvine.

"You did the coat?"

"Yeah. Didn't feel right to leave her lying in the open like that."

Squall nodded. Then he realised Irvine wasn't wearing his duster either. "Seifer's coat?" he frowned.

"I used mine to keep him warm." The sharpshooter pointed away to their left where Seifer lay in the grass, the lower half of his body covered by the green coat. More importantly, though, Squall could tell the blonde was breathing steadily. He repressed the urge to rush over to his friend –he wondered briefly if you could call someone your lover after one time- and focussed on finding out what happened to Rinoa first.

The total lack of anything but ash on the spot where she fell left little to the imagination of what her corpse would look like. Still he had to see for himself. Swallowing hard, he knelt down by the coat and lifted it a little to glance underneath it.

Rationally, it all made sense. She'd gone rogue. As SeeD, Seifer and Irvine hadn't had a choice but to kill her. But no matter how much he had resented her as a girlfriend, the whole situation felt weird. Just this morning she was trying to get him into bed with her, and now her charred remains lay in the grass, looking not much different than the other piles of ashes in the clearing. Yeah, he'd given serious consideration to breaking up with her, but what he'd had in mind was nowhere near as final as this.

"Squall?"

He lowered the coat and looked up at Irvine. "By the look of things I assume Seifer dealt the final blow?"

Irvine ignored the rhetoric and nodded anyway, wrapping his arms around his chest against the chills running through him.

"I'm sorry," he muttered after a while. "I…I couldn't shoot her, not even when she attacked you. But Seifer… He didn't think twice. There were flames in his eyes when she said she'd kill you, but when she started to change…" He closed his eyes. "The only thing I saw after that was a huge ball of light that swallowed everything, a terrible scream, and then I got blown backwards. Woke up in the bushes." He glanced up at Squall. "When I went to look, Seifer was still where he stood but unconscious. You had been blasted away, like me, only I didn't meet a tree somewhere halfway to knock me out. And Rinoa… After making sure you guys were alive, I covered her up. I couldn't bear looking at her. It's…"

Squall was never the sensitive type when it came to other people's emotions, but he knew what Irvine was trying to say. Giving compassion the best shot he could manage, he put a hand on Irvine's shoulder and squeezed gently.

"It's okay, Irvine. Death's always different when it's someone you know."

"And you? Are you okay?"

Squall didn't answer. He brushed passed the cowboy and knelt down at Seifer's side. Even in unconsciousness, the blonde look troubled and in pain. Not knowing what else to do, Squall gently lifted him up and cradled him. Irvine sat down a few feet away, and they simply looked at each other for a while.

Shocked was the best word to describe how he felt. The 'what' was evident, but not the 'why'. Why had Rinoa gone mad? Had he been so blind that he hadn't seen it brewing? Perhaps… Probably…

"Squall?"

He woke from his thoughts with a jolt. He glanced down at Seifer, but there was no reaction. Weariness washing over him again, he looked up at Irvine. The cowboy was fidgeting with his rifle, his trademark behaviour to hide severe uneasiness, or worse.

"Look, Squall, I'm working really hard here not to panic," he finally admitted. "But with Rinoa going haywire and trying to kill you, Seifer blowing her up in what looked like a mini-nuclear blast, not to mention you and Seifer apparently being an item and you not moving a muscle over Rinoa's death…"

Squall shook his head. "I rarely demonstrate my feelings. Force of habit. You should know that."

"You sure had no problem demonstrating them to Seifer."

"That's different. He's always made it easier for me to…"

Irvine smirked. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

He swallowed the wholehearted 'yes I am' that was brimming on his lips. He'd never admit to having such passion to anyone but Seifer. "I guess I am," he answered flatly.

"And _I'_m guessing it's more than mutual."

"Possibly," Squall evaded the issue as he realised something else. "But we've got bigger things to worry about than a budding love affair."

Irvine grinned. "What could be more important than…"

"She was a Sorceress, Irvine. Do _you _feel any different?"

"No…?"

"Neither do I. But her powers must have gone somewhere." He looked down at the still unconscious Seifer and, after a moment's hesitation, started to undo his vest. "Right now I'm just praying my hunch is completely wrong."

Irvine watched in silence as Squall tried to find the cause of Seifer's prolonged blackout. The stoic brunet searched but found nothing. Finally, his fingers ran along the edges of the various round scars on Seifer's torso.

"They look like mine," he mused.

Irvine nodded. "Did he tell you how he got them?"

Squall shook his head. "He wouldn't say."

"When I cornered him in the shower…" He made a face at Squall's alarmed expression. "Hey, it was the only place I knew for sure he wouldn't be armed! Anyway, back there I commented on the scars, and he hinted that they were caused by the same thing as the one on your shoulder."

With a growing sense of dread Squall counted the circles. "One in each shoulder, three in his abdomen, and I know he's got one in each hand as well."

"And three in his thigh," Irvine added. Then he saw the look on Squall's face. "Hey, y'don't shower with your clothes on, right? I kinda assumed you'd seen those already anyway."

"I wasn't exactly in the position to."

Irvine smirked. "Yeah, I didn't think you'd be the dominant type."

Squall shot him a deathglare, and like before, the cowboy was suddenly dead-serious again.

"Look, Ultimecia and Time Compression I can deal with, but everything that's happened in the last hour is way beyond my grasp. So excuse me for resorting to the last basic and uncomplicated thing in life."

Squall growled but stopped himself before he did anything regrettable. Getting angry at his friend wouldn't solve anything any more than hiding from the facts would. And as far as Seifer's scars were concerned, the facts were simple:

"Ultimecia tortured him…"

"Yeah, I guess she would've when she found out his loyalties weren't where she – or any of us- thought they were."

Puzzled and confused, Squall looked at Irvine. The cowboy shrugged apologetically.

"Seifer did say he'd been _your_ Knight all his life."

"And Ultimecia…. God, she must have hated him for it." He closed his eyes and tightened his arms around Seifer's prone form. "Why didn't we see it?" he whispered into the short blond hair.

Irvine frowned "See what?"

"That he _was_ on our side after all. The signs were there."

"Maybe in hindsight, Squall, but back then, in the spur of the moment? We couldn't have known."

"Bullshit!" Squall spat with ferocity alien to him. "All those times he could've killed us and didn't do it. You saw what he did to Rinoa! What he did to Odin! We were no match for him, not even three against one."

"We didn't know that then!"

"No, but we did know something was wrong with him when we saw him at Galbadia Garden, but we didn't do anything. Claimed it was what he wanted. That he was living his dream. Tell me, was he still living his dream when we fought him in Lunatic Pandora?!"

"Will you stop shouting? My head hurts like Hell."

Completely thrown off his track, Squall stared down at Seifer. The blonde moved a bit and then wearily draped one arm of his eyes.

"Squall?"

"I'm… I'm here."

"Good. And Rinoa?"

"She's dead. You killed her."

"Ah…" He left out a deep sigh. "I'm truly sorry, Squall. She left me no choice."

"You did the right thing, Seifer." He stroked the blonde's hair. "And you saved my life doing it. Thanks."

"All in a day's work, Puberty Boy."

Squall pursed his lips. "I'm grateful, but I'm still your commanding officer. Don't forget that, Almasy."

"Heh, maybe I was wrong about who's dominant," Irvine mused in a desperate attempt to lighten things up again. Another deathglare carved itself in his face. "But never mind that," the cowboy continued without skipping a beat. "How're you feeling?"

Seifer slowly sat up. "The short version would be that I've felt better."

"And the long version?"

"I've been through worse."

Squall and Irvine exchanged a knowing look, but silently agreed not to touch the subject.

Oblivious to the mute deliberation behind his back, Seifer rubbed his eyes and blinked against the light. Muttering something about a 'royal headache', he reached up to his forehead. A few moments later he raised his brows in surprise and then straightened his back.

"Much better," he declared.

Squall frowned. "Headache's gone?"

"Yeah, it just sort of dissolved."

"Like after a cure spell?"

"Yes, like that. Strange."

"Very." Squall took Seifer's face in his hands and made the blonde face him. Looking deep into Seifer's eyes, he tried to find any hint that his suspicions were false. Any sign that would tell him he was wrong. But what he found drained every ounce of feeling from his body.

"Seifer, your eyes… They're golden."


	15. Chapter 15

"Seifer, your eyes... They're golden."

The words, backed up by Squall's anxious expression, hit him with the force of an oncoming train. So he hadn't been dreaming. Rinoa's actions, his reaction; it hadn't been just another nightmare. The realisation left him feeling numb despite the overload of energy and adrenaline surging through his body. The clash of everything and nothing rolled into one confirmed Squall's words with crushing reality.

"…I should've realised that would happen," he sighed after a while. "None of it hit you?"

He felt Squall's arm wrap around his shoulders and a soft 'no' whispered in his hair. He hid his face in his hands, overcome by an immense sense of relief. At least he hadn't dragged anyone else into this mess.

For a long time, no one spoke. The truth of what had transpired – and expired – in the last hour lay as a heavy blanket over the forest clearing. Seifer tried to figure it out for himself, but the magnitude of it all wasn't registering. Closing his eyes, he delved into the magic inside of him. He found it remarkably easy to tap into it. At the slightest thought, he could feel the whole extent of it, the power and the reach, although it was still very garbled. However, even that gave him an instant understanding of why Sorceresses could be so dangerous if they fell victim to their own anger and hatred: the magic changed according to his emotions. It was friendly now, but it would consume him if he let it. That in turn made him realise the reason why his fire magic would soar when he got angry or frightened, like it did when he watched Rinoa turn on Squall.

And that had been only a fraction of he had now. The fire magic he'd already had was the missing piece from Ultimecia's powers, but now he had the rest as well. And Adel's. And Edea's... All of them, and all of them complete. He frantically calculated the consequences of them exploding the same way his fire magic had. With only one elemental force behind his rage, he had killed Rinoa. With three complete sets of Sorceress magic, however...

"I think I need a Knight."

Squall and Irvine looked up at his sudden statement.

"What's the use?" Irvine shrugged bitterly. "Rinoa had a Knight and that didn't stop her from going crazy..." He looked at the covered corpse with a mix of loathing and regret on his face.

Seifer gave him a rock-hard glare and opened his mouth to speak, but Squall interrupted before he could say something.

"None of this is your fault, Irvine," he told the trembling man, using his authority as Commander to convince.

Irvine sighed. "I know, but..."

"We should get her back to Garden," Squall continued without giving any attention to Irvine's insecurities. "Seifer's coat will serve as a body bag for now."

Seeing the desperate look in Irvine's eyes, Seifer let his anger go. "I'll do it," he said as he got up and handed Irvine his duster back. The cowboy gave him a sad look, but he left the pep talk for Squall.

As he walked down to where Rinoa's remains lay, he told himself that there was nothing to it. She was just another corpse whose death he had caused. But when he turned his coat back, his throat and chest constricted. The only discernable thing in the pile of ash he had just uncovered was a blackened skull with most of the cranium missing and a handful of bone fragments. Sure, he'd never been able to like Rinoa again after she wore his patience beyond thin during the one summer they had spent together, but this had never been his intention.

"What's done is done, Almasy," he berated himself under his breath as he started to carefully fold the bone fragments in his coat. Then he looked up. Squall stood some twenty feet away, softly talking to Irvine in what Seifer guessed was an attempt to keep a rapidly panicking cowboy calm. He kept his eyes trained on the brunet, and his heart sped up as it always did when he secretly observed the man he had devoted his life to. A wry smile spread on his lips. It was bitter, but he was sure he had made the right decision when he blew Rinoa's brains out.

As he rejoined the other two, Squall turned to meet him. "We go back to Garden, tell Dr Kadowaki what happened," he said before Seifer asked anything.

"Okay. And…?" Seifer gestured at Irvine, who was busy fidgeting with his hair and fixing his hat. When the cowboy looked up again to find two intense stares locked on him, he threw his hands in the air and cried:

"What? I'm fine! I'm not going to freak out, okay? I'll just keep my mouth shut and follow your lead." He looked at them, his shoulders slumping. "I'm no good at these things. Can we just go now?"

Their trek back to Garden was mercifully uneventful. A few times they had heard something moving through the woods not far away, but whatever had caused the noises never showed up. Seifer was silently grateful for that. Every time his attention spiked, so did the edgy magic inside him. God knows what he might have done if another T-Rex showed up. He really needed to make serious business of controlling himself better. Not an easy feat with his touchy temper, he knew that, but what choice did he have? He'd kill himself before allowing himself to become like Ultimecia; he'd already caused enough destruction to last a lifetime. The only question was how to prevent it. He had a good idea, but that depended largely on Squall's willingness to cooperate and right now he wouldn't put any money on that being in his favour.

An hour later they stood in one of the infirmary's examination rooms, where Seifer slowly unwrapped his coat on the examination tables, exposing the charred human remains to an alarmed Dr Kadowaki.

"Oh dear Heaven!" the older woman cried out when Seifer stepped back. "What… Who is this?"

"Rinoa," Squall stated plainly. The doctor gave him an incredulous look. "She went rogue," he then offered by way of explanation.

"What did you do to her? Feed her to Ifrit?!"

Seifer instinctively backed away from the table, as if standing too close would point him out as the culprit.

"It doesn't matter _how_," Squall said with a stressed voice. "The point is she was about to kill me, and if not for the intervention of Seifer and Irvine, she would have succeeded, too."

Kadowaki looked horrified. "But…why?"

"That's what Xu and the rest of staff will want to know, but that's precisely what I _don't_ know."

The doctor looked the bone fragments over and then shrugged helplessly. "I… What would you have me do? I can't tell the cause of death from these fragments, let alone what went wrong with her _before_ she died."

Squall rubbed his forehead with his fingers. "My problem exactly." Then he looked up again. "However, I might have a way to find out, but I need time to do it."

"Edea Kramer?"

He nodded.

Dr Kadowaki nodded in acknowledgement, but looked tense. "I can't hush this up, Squall," she finally replied. "My oath forbids it."

"I'm afraid you'll have to break your vow then," he told her coldly. She opened her mouth to object, but he silenced her with an intense stare that could freeze a ruby dragon. "Consider this, Doctor: if Xu and the others find out we were wrong about having Rinoa under control without knowing what we did wrong, chances are they'll panic. We both know panicked people do rash and irreparable things." He paused to let it sink in. "And then there's always the chance of this leaking out to the press. I don't think I need to explain what consequences that will have for Garden…"

"Your point is taken," she snapped tersely. Then, after several long seconds, she straightened her back and proceeded to take a plastic container from a nearby shelf. She put it on the table, opened it and carefully placed what remained of Rinoa's bones inside. Then she shut the lid on the container and rested her hands on top of it.

"I'll keep this out of sight for as long as you need," she said to Squall. "But I can't promise they won't ask me after her, though."

Now Irvine detached himself from the corner he'd been standing in since they came in. "I'll keep them off your back, Doc," he said solemnly. Then he looked at Squall. "I owe you this. You never ratted on me after the clock tower."

"Irvine…"

"It's okay," the cowboy said with a sad shrug. "Rinoa spilled the beans to Seifer just before…" He made a vague gesture at the container under Kadowaki's hands. "Well, anyway… I'll keep Xu and Quistis busy while you two go see Matron about this mess. Just don't take too long. Those girls are smart."

Squall gave both Irvine and Kadowaki a brief nod. "Thanks, people." Then he locked his eyes on Seifer. "Let's go."

After they left the infirmary, Squall didn't say a word. Not when they paced to Garden's garage, not when they boarded Ragnarok –in light of the circumstances, Seifer hid his awe at seeing it 'live' for the first time– and not after take-off, now hours ago. He just sat in the Captain's chair and stared ahead while the spacecraft zoomed on autopilot, destination Centra.

Seifer told himself he could understand Squall's reaction. They had called their situation 'complicated' before, but he wasn't sure if there even was a word for the kind of shit they were in now. Of all the people to become a Sorceress… He could already hear the arguments and terrified fits Xu and the rest of the Garden Staff would throw at him the moment they found out what had happened. And he could picture how Squall would get caught in the middle. Unless…

He had opted to explore Ragnarok's various compartments instead of staying on the bridge. It was dark down here, but at least he didn't have to sit in an oppressive silence and watch how Squall sorted out his loyalties. In his mind's eye Seifer imagined the different conflicting arguments passing through the brunet's mind as it feverishly tried to make out which were the most important. He knew the pain of that kind of decisions from experience, and he also knew that there was no predicting the outcome.

He shivered as he strolled through the empty cargo holds. He tried to brace himself for whatever conclusion Squall would come to, but he found he couldn't focus. The various magics inside of him were exploring the extent of his body and his mind. He vaguely recalled the intrusive experience back when he had first received the fire magic, but to have so many different types surged through him at the same time was overwhelming. He had managed to postpone their curiosity while they were sorting out what to do with Rinoa, but now they demanded he let them take him in. The force of it brought him to a halt.

Seifer swallowed but gave the magic free reign. It would turn against him if he didn't. Pure magic, he understood while it examined him, was like the ancestor of Guardian Forces: a force of nature, elemental but with its own consciousness, it's own character. He could clearly distinguish the difference between the various types of magic as well as between that which had resided in Adel, Edea, and Ultimecia. A sense of schizophrenic paranoia came over him, with dozens of soundless voices chattering away in his mind. Like a Guardian Force took up residence in a person's mind, this magic resided in a person's being, his body, his mind and his soul. It was like drowning in it.

After a while, the magic seemed to settle, though, filling up every part of his body like a hand fitting a glove. It felt less chaotic now. The various personalities allowed him his own again, creating a powerful feeling he could only describe as a kind of symbiosis: the magic resided in him and in turn it – they, he corrected himself – would aid him in his actions. Any action. The magic wouldn't judge morality, he knew. They would just enhance his intentions, no matter how beneficial or depraved. They would allow their bearer to do absolutely _anything_.

Seifer slowly opened his eyes. The cargo hold was just as dark and empty as before. Now that everything had made itself comfortable inside, he didn't feel very different from the days before today. But one thing was very clear: the more he learned about being a Sorceress, the easier it was to understand why most Sorceresses ended up insane.

"_**Seif? We're almost there."**_

He looked up at the sudden intercom voice. Squall sounded factual yet insecure, asking in a non-committing way for him to come up to the bridge. Maybe he'd made up his mind…

The elevator to the bridge came to a smooth stop. Seifer stepped off the platform and eyed Squall, who had turned his chair around to face him.

"We'll reach Centra in less than half an hour," the brunet announced.

"Does Matron know we're coming?"

Squall nodded. "I radioed ahead. I told here you're with me. She's thrilled."

"And did you tell her _why_ we're coming?"

"No. Too complicated to explain over the radio."

They sat in silence. The blue vastness of the ocean streamed under them as the massive spaceship sped onwards. In the distance, the quickly growing landmass of Centra became visible. The atmosphere was heavy, and with no sign of Squall opening his mouth any time soon, Seifer decided to voice their dilemma:

"So, what do you think will freak out Matron most? Me being a Sorceress or us being together?"

Squall looked away without answering.

Seifer snarled at his reaction. "What? Having regrets now, Leonheart?"

His sharp tone made Squall snap his head back to face him. "Don't say that! I'm _not_ having regrets! But you can't deny that what happened today changes everything!"

"Oh, it changes a lot of things," Seifer growled as he closed the distance between them. "As a Sorceress, I'll never be able to become SeeD anymore. As a Sorceress, I'll have even more mobs with pitchforks coming after me than before. As a Sorceress, I run even more risk of losing my mind than I already do. _But_," He articulated strongly as he grabbed Squall, who was turning away again, by his shoulders and made him face him. "But, even as a Sorceress, I'll still love you more than anything else in this world." To affirm his words he gently brushed his lips against Squall's.

Initially, the brunet's only response was a soft whimper. But then, only seconds into the light kiss, Squall reciprocated. It wasn't a passionate response, but Seifer guessed it was as much as the lone wolf would submit his heart to. Then Squall broke away.

"They'll put you in a cryo-seal, like Adel…" he whispered, breathing hard and leaning heavily on Seifer for support. Hot tears were falling down his cheeks.

Something inside Seifer broke. He might be the one in need of a Knight, but despite that he felt he was still Squall's protector. Pulling the younger man in a tight embrace, he tried to comfort him as best he could.

"I won't let them."

"They'll kill you if you put up a fight." The weak protest was muffled by his shoulder and thick with swallowed sobs. Seifer tightened his hold and nuzzled the unruly brown hair he loved so much.

"We'll work it out. We'll go see Matron, get our bearings on how to deal with this. We'll find a way, I promise."

For a long time, they just held onto each other, their embrace growing a little tighter with every breath. A little closer together with every beat of their hearts. Outside, the ocean had become land, and the land had stopped moving. Ragnarok hung in the air over a small Centran village, motionless like her two passengers. They had caught up with time during their travel, but as they just stood there, enjoying each other's presence and the physical touch they shared, the sky turned pink, then orange and eventually a deep purple.

An eternity later, Squall slowly lifted his head off Seifer's shoulder and looked him in the eye. "Just one question," he muttered. "It's not important, I think, but still…" He tilted his head. "Aren't you a Sorcerer rather than a Sorceress?"

The utterly mundane question threw Seifer off guard. He blinked a few times in surprise, and then began to laugh. "Of all the things to ask me now…?"

Squall shrugged, looking embarrassed to the point of blushing.

"Okay," Seifer nodded. "As you wish..." He looked away for a moment, frowning as he gave the question serious consideration. He had simply used the term Sorceress without thinking. Now that he did give it some thought, it indeed didn't make any sense. Until the magic spoke up inside of him, wordless yet undeniable.

"It's… a title more than anything else, really," he repeated out loud. "It's not gender-specific."

"Ah," Squall nodded. But then his brows knotted. "So…. Adel was really a man?" He pulled up a lip in disgust.

They exchanged glances, both conjuring up images of the redheaded Sorceress in Lunatic Pandora. Seifer shuddered. "Okay, point taken. I'll go with Sorcerer."

* * *

Thanks for reading people! I really enjoy getting those reviews. It makes me happy to hear people enjoy the story. 


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Two things I really need to get off my mind for this chapter:

1) THANK YOU ALL for reading and reviewing! I know I take my sweet time to update, but I really appreciate that so many people liking it enough to keep tabs on this story!

2) WARNING: Things'll be heating up again this chapter in the most graphical sense of the word . Same request as before: if you think it's too much, drop me a line before complaining to fanfiction. net and I'll do something about it. (Although I don't think hard-core anti-yaoi types would've read this far unless they're masochists…)

Enough chat, let's get on with it: enjoy!

* * *

When the door of the cottage opened and a slender woman appeared, Squall hung back a bit. He didn't want to get in the way of what would indubitably be an emotional reunion. Edea hadn't seen Seifer since Ultimecia had released her from possession, so it was no surprise to hear her cry for joy as she hugged Seifer like the long lost son he was. Squall noted how her reaction was void of any kind of apprehension. As if the war had never happened. As if she didn't know what had happened to him. But she did. The hug lasted too long for it to be in greeting only. Squall was sure that, even if she wasn't a Sorceress herself anymore, Edea at least suspected what Seifer had become. Certain abilities you simply don't lose. 

It seemed an eternity before Edea let go of Seifer. She smiled brightly at him one more time before finally turning to Squall.

"And a warm welcome to you, too, of course." She kissed his cheek lightly. "God, it's been forever since I've seen you both. Please, do come in."

They followed her inside. Squall noted the cottage was in a considerably better state than last time he'd been here. Back then Cid had told him they were planning on renovating the pretty much ruined orphanage, and from the looks of it they'd made some serious progress. Glancing around, he saw that the two small rooms at the front and the kitchen at the end of the hallway were all restored and in use. In all, it looked pretty much the exact same way as his riddled memories recalled. And judging from the look of childish delight on Seifer's face, he remembered it as well.

"I thought the house was in ruins...?" the blonde whispered.

Edea smiled at him. "It was. The renovation was a retirement gift from Garden." She nodded at Squall.

When Seifer looked at him, he shrugged wordlessly in reply. He had persuaded Xu into doing this for the sake of his foster parents and what they had been through, but their gratitude was nothing compared to the shine that seeing the little cottage again had brought to Seifer's eyes. An observation which in turn smacked his ass straight back into reality.

"Matron, I'm afraid that..." Squall started, but he was interrupted by a jovial call coming from the first floor landing.

"My dear boys! So good of you to come and visit us at last!"

Cid all but jumped down the stairs. The dusty old shirt and pants he was wearing suggested the upper floor of the cottage wasn't quite finished yet. He gave Squall a hearty pat on the shoulder. "How are you, how are you? My, it's been an awfully long time." Then he turned to Seifer and sized him up. "I see you've changed quite a bit since I last saw you."

"You haven't changed a bit, Headm... sorry, _Uncle _Cid."

The old man laughed at Seifer's slip of the tongue. "Indeed, indeed. I've retired in favour of those better qualified." He looked back at Squall.

"I'm not the Headmaster, Cid. You know it's not my ambition," Squall retorted.

"Pity. I always thought you'd do well. But Xu's happy enough filling the position, I wager." He didn't wait for an affirmation but returned his attention to Seifer. "Ah, but you didn't come here to listen to the rants of an old man, did you? You've got a problem," he looked over the rim of his glasses as he studied Seifer's face closely, "and I think I know what it is."

Squall felt himself tense up. A part of him was happy for not having to break the news anymore, but another significant part feared losing control of the situation. Then a third, tiny voice squeaked at him to give it up because any form of control over this situation was an illusion anyhow. So he willed himself to relax a bit before following the others into the living room at Edea's directions.

The living room, too, looked exactly the way he remembered it. The furniture was different, but the layout was practically the same: Two large couches and a fauteuil were arranged around a plain wooden coffee table that stood in front of the quietly burning fire in the fireplace. A cabinet and a closet stood each against one of the two far walls. The long, draping curtains were drawn, and the light of a simple but elegant brass chandelier added a little extra to the brightness of the open fire.

Seifer took up the seat closest to the fireplace. The apparently subconscious move made Squall smile inwardly. He contemplated taking the seat next to Seifer, on the cooler side of the couch, but then offered it to Edea. He had a feeling both of them would want some measure of closeness. So he settled himself on the other couch, away from the flames.

"Would you like some coffee, dears?" Edea asked.

Seifer rubbed his face. "I sure could use some after today." Silently agreeing with that, Squall just nodded.

"Four coffee and some snacks coming up," Cid announced as he walked off towards the kitchen.

They waited in silence for him to come back. Squall chose to observe for now.

Seifer was lost in thought, or so it seemed. He stared into the flames with a longing on his face that Squall found hard to interpret. Edea smiled at him, but it wasn't the same open, happy smile as before. There was a distinct sadness hovering on her lips and Squall saw that he'd been right. She knew. And possibly more than either of them realised.

Before long, though, Cid came back with a tray with four mugs, some milk and sugar, a box of chocolate cookies and a large can of coffee. "Here you go," he said as he poured them each a mug and placed it in front of them. "Sugar or milk?"

"No, thanks," Squall replied, taking his mug and savouring the bitter smell.

Seifer didn't wake up from his daydreaming until Edea nudged him. "Eh? Oh. No, black's fine."

After supplying Edea and himself with the right amount of sugar, Cid sat down in the fauteuil and looked at Seifer. "So, you've got yourself in a spot of trouble, then."

Seifer grunted. "You could say that."

"What happened?" Edea asked quietly. "Whose powers did you receive?"

Squall appreciated her directness. There was no need to be subtle if everyone present already knew what the problem was. It was just a matter of filling in the details.

"He received Rinoa's powers when he killed her to save me," he told them, his tone as sharp and to the point as his gunblade.

Their reaction, of course, was predictable: shocked faces and alarmed looks full of dozens of unspoken questions. He tried to deal with them before having to go through each one separately.

"She went rogue," he answered the already forming 'why'-question. "She had already threatened to kill me and was damn close to doing it when Seifer intervened and blew her up. Unfortunately, her powers had to go somewhere."

Another 'why' was in the process of being voiced, but before Squall intercepted it, Seifer had already cut in. "She probably lost control because, according to her, Squall wasn't her Knight," the blond explained. "Rinoa wasn't the most emotionally stable person to begin with, so without restraints, this was bound to happen at some point."

"Okay, okay," Cid said with his hands raised. "Slow down, you two. This is a lot to take in all at once and we're old people." He sighed deeply and then looked at his wife. "Love?"

Edea sat with her hands over her mouth and with tears in her eyes, but she wasn't truly crying. She took a deep breath, lowered her hands and nodded. "I… I can see why you came here," she started. "But what do expect from us? We can't undo what happened."

Squall pried himself from his determination to find an immediate wonder cure for the situation and forced himself to think clearly. Which was hard enough with his inner self screaming its lungs out in fear. Finally, speaking slowly, he got reason to speak louder than his suppressed panic:

"I'm not expecting you to work miracles. No one can change the past. But what we do need is some advice on how to deal with this, for ourselves and for others."

He and Seifer waited in silence while Cid and Edea exchanged looks and got caught up in what seemed to be an unvoiced conversation. Squall didn't doubt that they would want to help. The question, however, was if they could.

* * *

Seifer was already practising self-control. In this case to keep his mouth shut. He didn't need anyone advice to tell him what he needed most, or who could give it. But he had to be patient. If Squall needed to go through all the steps, he'd wait. There wasn't much else he could do anyway. 

While Matron and Cid continued their deliberation by eyes only, Seifer let his own glide towards Squall's tense form. Not having had the time to change, the brunet still wore his SeeD uniform, he noticed, but with a twist: jacket unbuttoned, top buttons of his shirt undone, weapon belt dishevelled and his trouser legs weren't tucked into his boots (thank God). He knew he shouldn't be thinking this right now, but Squall looked hot. _Very_ hot. And it wasn't just his mind thinking that.

The images that this observation conjured up were, however, interrupted by Edea's voice.

"We will help you to the best of our ability. It is only right that we should do so…"

Seifer shook his head at her words. "Hey, don't feel obliged to do anything you don't want to. We'll figure it out for ourselves if you're uncomfortable with this."

She gazed at him with deep, purple eyes that still had a residual hint of gold in them, reminding him of who and what she once had been and in a way still was. When he made to cast his eyes down, she silently compelled him to keep eye contact. The magic that had once belonged to her stirred inside him, translated her unsaid intentions for him to interpret. It took him a few moments to get used to this new experience, but soon enough it became as fluent and as clear as normal speech.

"That's an underestimation, Matron," he replied verbally for the benefit of the other present. "Of the situation and of our intelligence. A _child_ can see our social positions make this infinitely more complicated than it already is. But I've survived a trip to Hell and back, and I'm not letting politics get the better of me now!"

She didn't break her stare. "Control your anger, Seifer. You've got no excuse anymore not to."

"I know that!" Realising he was yelling, he took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "I know that. But I also know I need a Knight if I'm ever to succeed at it."

His sulky remark caused a flutter of alarm between Cid and Edea. "You mean you don't…?" "But I though that…?" Then they both looked at Squall, who gave them a soundless cold shoulder by crossing his arms and looking away.

To his surprise, Seifer saw Edea's eyes light up with indignation. "Squall! This isn't a game. How can you…?"

"I don't have to defend myself towards you," Squall all but snarled.

"You do to Seifer!"

"But not necessarily now," Cid calmly intervened. "Love, they've had a trying day. A lot has happened and I don't think it's anything but normal that they should need some time to come to terms with the extend of these changes. I suggest we all sleep on it and look at the situation with a fresh perspective in the morning."

Seifer recognised Squall's darting eyes as a sign of reluctant agreement, and he couldn't deny he was tired himself. Tired and in desperate need of something less complicated. And pragmatism usually did the trick, unless of course it brought up another issue:

"Does Ragnarok have billets or beds of any kind?"

Squall shook his head. "Not unless you count the examination table in sickbay."

"Oh joy…" Seifer glanced carefully at Edea. "And I guess the bedrooms upstairs aren't ready yet?"

Cid chuckled. "You would be right in assuming that. And we already sleep in the study at the moment. However, I think Edea took the liberty of preparing an alternative?" He looked at his wife, who in turn looked at her two sons.

"When the renovation first started, we slept in the lighthouse. We got new furniture, so everything still there. The only problem is the bed."

"The bed?"

"Yes, it's old and quite worn."

"'Bed'? Singular?"

"I'm afraid so."

Digesting this information and making up his own mind about that offer, Seifer gave it his best shot to read Squall's decision from his stoic face. It was surprisingly easy, though. The brunet just shrugged loosely and said: "We're soldiers. We're used to sharing facilities."

* * *

Matron hadn't said anything about the lighthouse room that wasn't true: it was small, old, worn, and overall bordering on decrepit. But it also had the flair of childhood nostalgia. She had seen them in only briefly, leaving them to themselves with clean bed linen, a large jug of water and the message that breakfast would be ready at eight thirty. 

Without any luggage, settling in was just a figure of speech. Seifer had said nothing when Squall disappeared up the lighthouse stairs, obviously lost in thought already. Leaving the troubled man alone for now, he set himself to making the ancient double bed and then confirming that there was indeed no running water in the building. Hence the water jug. Brilliant…

"Squall," he yelled up the stairs, "I don't know 'bout you, but I'm turning in!"

No response.

"Squall?"

Again he heard nothing but the soft humming of the generators powering the lighthouse beacon. Demonstrating his annoyance and ignoring the worry nagging at his gut, he stomped up the stairs, swearing to himself he'd haul Squall down by his hair if need be. But that resolve faded when he reached the top of the lighthouse.

Squall stood barely a few feet away, leaning on the railing, staring out over the sea. The sea breeze tousled his hair like a father does to his little boy. Beside them, the beacon lamp steadily revolved. Round and round and round again, casting a bright beam when it came by and leaving an eerie shadow in its wake. Light, dark, light, dark… Enough to make a man philosophical. Or at least half-blind. Seifer tried to shield his eyes from the constantly changing light intensity.

"Squall, you coming down?"

For the longest time, there was no indication that the brunet had even heard him. The light revolved countless times as Seifer waited for a reply to a question that, in hindsight, was more than just pragmatic. He had a very distinct notion that whatever the answer would be, it would be a testimony of the loyalties Squall chose to follow. Nonsense, Seifer continued to tell himself, but all the ratio in the world couldn't make him shake that feeling. Then, finally, Squall turned to face him.

"Yesterday, I asked you to convince me you weren't lying, right?"

"Right."

"And you did. But now…" Squall sighed and looked at the floor for a moment to renew his courage. "Now I ask you to convince me we can solve this situation."

The frailty of Squall's voice was heartbreaking. There were so many layers to that request that thoughts alone couldn't voice them all. An apology, a cry for help, a sign of deep-running insecurity, an affirmation of what had happened between them, and so many more thoughts and feelings all rolled into one sentence. It was hard not to get lost in the blue eyes that were locked on his, and even harder to answer their plea.

"I can't guarantee anything," he said kindly as he crossed the distance between them. "Except that what I told you before is true: No matter what happens, I will love you more than anything or anyone else in the world."

Squall tilted his head to keep eye contact while they inched closer to each other. Then he broke away and leaned forward until his face was next to Seifer's.

"Convince me…"

The husky whisper in his ear was all the encouragement Seifer needed to shove his reservations out the window.

They all but fell down the stairs. Lips, limbs and garments tangled in one another in an attempt to shed all excessive clothing as fast as possible while balancing on the winding steps. The part of Seifer's brain not focussed on ravaging Squall's body noted that, even without their gunblades, it probably looked like they were caught in another one of their infamous fights. The only difference was the progressing amount of skin being exposed on the way down. By the time they made it down, neither of them was wearing more than his trousers and underpants.

Absorbed in each other, they actually missed the last two steps. The result was predicable but not intrusive enough to break their concentration. If anything, the rough landing that send them tumbling over each other only added to their sensual tug-of-war.

Squall readily allowed Seifer to overpower him. When Seifer pinned his hands above his head, he openly surrendered: "You're in charge. I just don't want to have to think too much."

"Don't worry," Seifer smirked. "You won't get the chance to."

Having said that, the magic inside him stirred at his intentions. It surged through his mouth when he kissed the brunet, instinctively guiding him to all the spots and all the movements that Squall craved without knowing it. It drew a surprised moan from the younger man. Thus encouraged, Seifer deepened the kiss enough to let their mouths melt together. The sensations was intense, hot and so pure, but stopped himself, realising that the magic could make that melt actually happen.

When he released their touch, Squall gasped like a drowning man coming up for air. Too breathless to speak, his now brilliant blue eyes asked the questions his mouth couldn't form. But Seifer just smiled in reply and pressed his finger on Squall's lips.

"Don't ask. Just enjoy."

Squall obeyed, in every sense. Lewd eyes, slightly parted lips and sharp, shaky breaths were testimony of his arousal, but he didn't say a word. Seifer gently stroked his cheek, which made the brunet turn his head to lick the fingers touching him. It struck Seifer that no matter how battled-hardened or how good a commander Squall was, he was oh so happy to have someone else call the shots for a change.

"_Convince me."_

Oh, that he would. Leaning forward again, he breathed a single command in Squall's ear: "Get on the bed."

He was instantly obeyed. And what a sight it was. Squall's naturally pale skin contrasted sharply against the dark fabric of his already unzipped uniform trousers, while the sheets folded graciously along his form. The muscles of his chest and arms were toned but surprisingly sleek in light of the weapon he wielded. But then of course Lionheart was significantly lighter than Hyperion was, his last bit of rationality told him. All the same, the lean build looked particularly good on the brunet. As did his obvious hard-on.

Very aware of his own need, Seifer practically dove onto the bed, causing the aged springs to creak in protest. That very traditional sound of sex only drove him on. His mind and body were filling very rapidly with more passion and desire than he could handle. That in itself wasn't a new sensation to him, however, unlike before he could now feel the magic joining in the fray, magnifying his intentions and allowing him to read his partner that much more accurate. And the writing on that particular wall said Squall wanted him, badly.

He didn't hold back. Energy so intense it was almost visible poured from his hands, wrapping itself around Squall's body everywhere he touched. He knew Squall felt it, too, caressing his skin and seeping into his body like aphrodisiac-laced jet fuel. The brunet's response was accordingly: as Seifer kissed a path across his chest, he arched back, fingers digging in the sheets while his hips forcefully thrust up.

"God, S…Seifer…."

Hearing his name, Seifer moved up a bit, letting his face hover less than an inch from Squall's while his hands touched all the right places to keep the pressure on.

"Want me to draw it out?" he sighed seductively.

Squall shook his head as best he could. "I…I don't think I'll last that long."

To be completely honest, Seifer wasn't sure if he would, either. His body was reacting so strongly to his feelings of lust, it was a miracle he'd managed to keep his own quivering member in check until now. There was all this energy building up inside of him, and it was looking for an expressway out. Knowing exactly what and how, he yanked Squall's trousers off -underpants and all- just short of tearing them. Squall twisted onto his side, but Seifer stopped him before he turned over onto his stomach.

"Don't. I want to see your face."

Again obeying without a word, Squall settled back in the sheets and presented himself for Seifer's enjoyment; naked, lustful and dripping with impatience.

The gesture sent Seifer's mind reeling so fast he barely took the time to get out of his own pants. However, once free of the restrictive garments, he positioned himself between Squall's legs and let his fingers do the talking.

Exploring Squall's opening earned him a series of moans and gasps that sent his own blood well beyond boiling point. Trusting that his magic, which was now oozing out over every inch of his body, would cancel out any need for lubrication, he retrieved his hand and guided himself in. He wasn't nearly as careful about it as he had been last time, but Squall seemed to welcome the rough treatment, even wrapping his legs around Seifer's hips. Thus interlocked, Seifer lowered himself until his chest touched Squall's, and he could feel the brunet's wildly pounding heart beat against his.

The sensation of thrusting into one another was more mental than it was physical. Though they barely moved, the whole world appeared to be revolving around them, moving them along with it. All the right places of his body touched all the right places of Squall's. Energy built up fast. Colours, light, magic, emotion, it all blurred together, growing, expanding, filling him up, filling the world up, submerging _everything_.

Then he heard Squall call his name.

Everything exploded at once. All the pound-up energy surged through him and into Squall. The intensity of it all was more overwhelming than anything he'd ever felt. Screw everything he thought he knew. _This_ was true ecstasy. And judging by the way Squall cried out his own release, he felt the same way.


	17. Chapter 17

No, I not dead yet, and neither is the story, although I admit it's spend the last weeks on life support with a bad case of writer's block. Dozens of excuses for this, none of which are really viable, but so what else is new. The important thing is: a new chapter!

Enjoy!

(reload. first attempt had iffy italics)

* * *

Squall lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling, comforted by Seifer's sleepy embrace. He'd been lying like this ever since first light, thinking things over and enjoying the slight tickle as the blonde's warm breath caressed his neck. The whole of yesterday passed in his mind. Everything ran by him in order: Seifer's confessions, Rinoa's luring, his meeting with the Garden Staff to convince them of Seifer's innocence in the bombing of Trabia Garden, finding out Rinoa had been cheating on him for months, finding out Seifer was a Fire Mage, Rinoa going rogue and Seifer killing her only to become her successor. And then the two of them had run off to Cid and Edea's place, topping it off with Seifer demonstrating some extra perks of being a Sorcerer. All in less than thirty-six hours… Normality seemed like to be a lifetime ago. 

He got distracted when Seifer shifted slightly in his sleep. A faint smile of endearment tugged at his lips. The smile grew when he caught himself at it. Yes, that was another thing that had changed literally overnight: his inability to contain his emotions. Or perhaps it was the sudden ability to express them. Either way, he'd rarely been as emotional as he had been yesterday. Although a bit embarrassed when looking back on his out-of-character behaviour, getting his anxieties out of his system had made his head so much clearer.

And now his head now admitted full agreement with what his heart had been trying to tell him all of yesterday evening.

He was just about to recap his priorities to himself when a husky voice drawled into his ear: "Shouldn't we be getting up by now?"

Squall half-turned to his side. "Good morning, Seifer. Since when did you get punctual?"

"I'm not," Seifer grunted into his pillow. "But Matron is."

That, Squall remembered, was most certainly true. He had no specific recollections, but the equation 'being late equals angry Matron' was rooted deep enough not to be ignored. Giving silent heed to Seifer's warning, Squall turned back the blankets and swung his feet down onto the floor. The bed springs creaked as he shivered involuntarily.

"I got soft behind that desk," he chided himself.

He could hear Seifer draw breath for a reply, but he was interrupted by the door swinging open with a lot of noise.

"Wake up, boys! This is urgent!"

The sudden shouting startled both of them into full alert. Squall immediately reached for Lionheart, but stopped himself when he recognised the hurried figure in the doorway as Cid's. In the corner of his eye he saw Seifer realise the same, and the fireball the blonde had conjured up was quickly sent back into non-existence.

"No time for good mornings," Cid pressed on. "Squall, Irvine's on the telephone and he insists on speaking to you now." He paused and glanced over the brim of his glasses. "Although I'm sure he won't mind that you'll want to get dressed first."

Squall felt his face flush, and hastily gathered a blanket from the bed to cover up his private parts.

Cid, however, didn't seem to take notice either way. "Just make haste, boy!" Then the old man left, leaving the door open to the winter winds as an extra incentive for them to get some clothes on and fast.

"O-kay," Seifer said to the empty doorframe. "Not good. Not good at all." He turned to Squall. "They can't have found out about her yet, can they?"

Squall didn't answer. Thoughts running so fast they remained wordless, he rounded the bed, gave himself a quick wash with the now nearly frozen water in the jug Edea had left for them last night, and jumped into his uniform, still tucking his shirt in his pants as he raced out.

He barged in through the back door, nearly stumbling over the kitchen chairs as he squeezed past the already set breakfast table and out the other end of the kitchen, into the living room. Edea stood by the small dresser.

"Oh, hold on, here he is," she said into the telephone's receiver before handing it to him. He all but yanked it from her hand.

"Hallo?"

"_Squall? It's Irvine. Heads up, man. They've sent people after you. Learned about it just now, or I'd have called you sooner."_

Squall's jaw clenched involuntarily. "Who?"

"_A team, don't know exactly how many. Only that Zell's leading it."_

"When?"

_"From what Selphie told me, they left a couple of hours after you, but they're taking the long route. Train ride to Deling City is all I could find out for sure. I'm guessing that they'll probably hitch a ride with the postal air bridge between Galbadia and Centra next. That's what Galbadia Garden used to do, anyway. But they definitely couldn't have reached Deling before you got to Matron's place."_

"But if they travelled all night, they'll probably arrive with the first inbound plane." He looked at Edea, lowering the receiver a bit. "When's that?"

She shrugged helplessly, but Cid had already retrieved a booklet carrying the crest of the postal services on the cover from the dresser's top drawer and was now leaving frantically through its pages. Seconds ticked by.

"Found it. First incoming flight arrives…" He looked like he was double-checking. "Five forty-three AM."

Squall glanced at the clock on the far wall and cursed. That was almost two hours ago. He brought the receiver back to his mouth. "Irvine? Did you tell them where we are?"

"_Of course not!" _the cowboy's indignant voice came through the speaker. _"But it took them about ten seconds to work out you'd taken the Ragnarok and another ten seconds to get a fix on its homing beacon."_

Squall was dumbstruck, silently cursing himself in seven languages. He should have remembered that… Too late now.

"Do they know about Rinoa?"

"_Don't think so. Selphie said they know she's not in Garden anymore, and that's got them edgy enough as it is. Quistis asked me if I'd seen her, but I told her she might've gone shopping and only told you 'bout it."_

"Good call. She does… she used to do that sometimes."

_"Won't be long before they find out she didn't come back, though. And_ _that's…"_

"…when the shit hits the fan," Squall completed, suppressing his rapidly growing agitation. "I got it. We need to know what we're up against before they get here. Find out who's in the party as quickly as you can with raising sus…"

His sentence trailed as his eye caught sight of a red car pulling up in the cottage's driveway. Through the glass curtains he could just make out the 'Rent-a-Car' sign on the hood.

"_Squall? You there?"_

Four doors opened and an equal number of people got out of the vehicle. One of them had familiar spiky hair.

"Yeah… Yeah, I am. Forget that last bit. They're here already." Keeping his eyes fixed on the scene behind the window, he slowly lowered the receiver, ignoring Irvine's distant protests filtering through before he hung up.

The doorbell rang. After a moment's hesitation, Edea moved to answer it.

Feeling rather more anxious than he'd like to admit, Squall considered a number of possibilities in quick succession. A: run back to the lighthouse to warn Seifer, but then Zell and his crew had probably already seen him standing the living room and would at best ask questions if he suddenly disappeared. B: Prepare to fight and hope the noise would draw Seifer to the cottage for backup, in which case things would get undesirably messy. C: Prepare to fight and hope the noise would warn Seifer to stay in the lighthouse and hide, in which case the hot-headed martial artist would probably call a manhunt because they knew the blonde had been travelling with him and couldn't be far. Or D: Go into this situation as blank as possible and play along with whatever Zell seemed to think was going on.

When Edea re-entered, followed by the new arrivals, the decision was taken out of his hands.

* * *

Seifer just watched as Squall sprinted out to the cottage without a word. Irvine risking contacting them… No doubt to warn them time was up. You didn't need to be a rocket scientist to see that coming, although he –or rather, him and Squall both- had thought it would take Garden a lot longer to react. 

He got out of bed and closed the door. No need to freeze your ass off needlessly. Which was why he heated the water in the jug up to a more tolerable temperature. He was a soldier, but that didn't mean he'd stand for Spartan circumstances. Not when a little magic could make life so much more comfortable.

But he did catch himself doing it. It was so incredibly _easy_ to use magic when it flowed so freely, and so willingly. Like the magic was asking to be used… He could see how not being allowed to use the magic could eventually make it turn against its host. It was elementary physics, when you thought about it: great power confined in a small space will build up more and more, until it explodes. Perhaps _not_ using magic was another reason why a Sorceress could go rogue.

He sighed as he finished getting dressed. Using the magic or not using it, it seemed like his new powers were bound to destroy him either way.

* * *

Zell had an unpleasantly grave look on his face, something that didn't suit the normally hyper martial artist one bit. He did crack a smile when he saw Squall, but somehow it didn't quite reach his eyes. 

"Squall, baby! Couldn't wait for the rest of us to get mobilised?"

Squall answered with silence. Although his intention was to buy time, it was probably the kind of reaction they expected from him anyway. At least it didn't seem to worry Zell more than whatever else was on the man's mind.

He glanced at the three people behind his friend. Only two of them wore a combat outfit and carried weapons that were rare to soldiers other than SeeD. He recognised them as being Balamb Seed, but he didn't have names to go with the faces. However, the third person, a woman in civilian clothes and wearing an eye patch, looked awfully familiar. Her single red eye lock on his as she nodded in greeting.

Seeing the silent exchange, Zell looked over his shoulder and then back at Squall. "Surprise, surprise, ey?"

Squall nodded at the woman, and then returned his attention to Zell, letting his stare go as cold as he could muster. As per usual, it made the short man scratch his neck nervously.

"We, ah, picked her up along the way. Quistis' idea. Seeing as Seifer was reported to be with you, we figured a, uhm, kind face would, you know…"

"Keep him at bay?" Squall finished for him, his tone well below freezing point.

"Uh, yeah, something like that."

"SEIFER. WHERE?"

Squall locked gazes with the single red eye again. Every muscle in his body was ready to fight, but something about her told him she wouldn't be any more of a threat to Seifer than she'd ever had been before. "Lighthouse," he told her briskly, pointing behind him. She strode off. He waited until she had gone out the back door before turning back to Zell again, his stance as demanding as his voice:

"Now, why are you here?"

* * *

When after some five minutes Squall didn't return to tell him when Irvine had called about, Seifer strapped Hyperion's scabbard to his chest, put on his coat and opened the door. But he froze when he found someone standing on the other side. 

"Hey," the figure said.

Seifer blinked twice before believing what his brain told him his eyes saw. "Fuujin?" he finally managed.

A kind nod as a rare smile was the only answer. Happily surprised, confused and suspicious at the same time, he looked her over.

"What in Hell's name are _you _doing here?"

She tilted her head. "A little birdie asked me to come," she said, using the tone of voice she usually reserved just for him.

He raised a brow. "A… birdie?"

"A chicken, to be precise."

All gears locked down instantly, along with his expression. "So they sent Zell. Just my luck…"

"Are you going to let me in, or do I have to stand out here in the cold?" It wasn't really a question, and she didn't wait for him to answer before pushing past him into the room. Used to this kind of behaviour, he stepped aside and closed the door behind her, leaning against it as he folded his arms.

"Not that I'm no glad to see you, Fuu, but this is unexpected and I'm not sure what to think of this surprise visit, to be honest."

"Typically Seifer Almasy. You go off to a dangerous place, stay away for months without a word, and when I do see you, all I get is the cold shoulder."

That hit home. He sighed, realising fully well how right she was, and broke away from the door far enough to embrace her.

"I _am_ happy to see you again, Fuu. And I'm sorry for keeping you two in suspension. It's just that things got a little more hectic then I thought."

She returned the embrace readily. "You did have us worried, you know."

"Yeah," he nodded guiltily, "I know."

"Anyway…" she detached herself from him and took a step back to observe him. "You look good. Stronger than when you left. I take it they let you back in?"

"They did…" He hesitated, wondering how much he should tell her. "I'll never make SeeD, though," he added.

She looked surprised. "Why not? Don't tell me you failed the field test again!"

"I didn't even get to _take_ a field test. Let's just say they don't trust me enough to let me join the force." It was a plausible excuse, even if you didn't know the exact details. Fuujin, however, always had looked deeper than he wanted her to.

"If that's so, why didn't you come back to Galbadia?"

That pretty much stumped his not-entirely-untrue explanation. "Like I said," he finally ventured. "Things got complicated."

She cocked her head, eyeing him as only she could. "Would that have anything to do why you are travelling with Leonheart, without telling anyone in Garden why or whereto?"

"Dincht told you that?"

"Yes. And he also told me that they've seemed to have misplaced Rinoa. And that they think you and Squall know more about that."

His jaw clenched. "What makes you think, _them_ think, we do?"

She smiled an endearing but dangerous smile. He knew it all too well. He'd rarely been on the receiving end of it, but the few times he had, it had been damn hard to tell which of them was the stronger. Anything he did now could give him away. So he just kept his eyes locked on hers in a defiant staring competition.

Fuujin accepted the challenge, and proved yet again that having only one eye wasn't a handicap in this game. She leaned closer, examining his face for any trace that contradicted his claim of innocence. Too late he realised it would be written all over his face, and there was nothing he could do to hide it.

* * *

At the sound of Squall's demand for an explanation, Zell was all business again. 

"For argument's sake I'll have to assume you don't know anything, although I personally think that you do and a lot more than we think you do, but…" He took a deep breath. "The short version is that Rinoa's missing."

Squall feigned shock, but wasn't sure if it was convincing.

"The long version," Zell continued uninterrupted, "is that Rinoa hasn't been seen since yesterday afternoon, and no one has a clue where she might have gone and with what intention. Perhaps Irvine's right and she just went shopping in Deling and forgot to tell anyone, but frankly, I'm not buying that. And neither are Xu and Quistis."

Now he did explicitly pause to see Squall's reaction, but Squall kept his face stoic, forcing Zell to continue the conversation if there was going to be one.

"Sooooo, basically, we're here to ask if you know where Rinoa is."

Squall raised a brow. "Couldn't you have just picked up the phone to ask me that?"

Zell shrugged. "We…didn't know where you'd gone. It's not like you _announced_ you we're going to run off suddenly."

"Ragnarok as a beacon. And a radio. Your point?"

Zell moved from one leg to the other and back again while fidgeting with his gloves. "That would be our second guess. Namely that you already knew Rinoa had gone off without even telling you, and you went after her before rallying Garden. Beats me why, but maybe in a fit of passion, y'know… It's not like you didn't do that before."

Images of the railway bridge to Esthar crossed his mind. He could still feel Rinoa's weight pressing down on him. It was not a happy memory.

More importantly, he now had to decide how to play his cards now. He could only stare Zell down for so long before he was forced to give an answer of some kind. And when he did, it had preferably be one that didn't give away too much.

* * *

"Seifer?" 

Fuujin's voice suddenly sounded alarmed, and he didn't have to guess why. Her forehead creased as she frowned, examining him even closer just to be sure. He let her. No point in running away now.

After a while she backed off, still frowning while she averted her eyes. He opened her mouth a few times, but every time thought better of it, no doubt searching for a safe response. Finally she met his gaze again.

"I presume that's the reason they can't find Rinoa?"

"Right first time." He saw the worry in her face. "I didn't want this to happen, if that's any condolence."

"It's not," she replied honestly. "It's good to know you didn't seek to become this… But it doesn't change the fact that you are."

"And will be until I die," he added a little more dramatically than he had intended.

She shook her head, biting her lip in belayed anger. "After everything you put yourself, us and the world through, I _really_ though you'd stay away from people like her!"

"Like I had a choice," he growled. "She was about to do to Squall what Ultimecia had done to me! You of all people should be able to appreciate what I was trying to prevent."

She looked away, shivering. He knew she didn't like to think about how she and Raijin had found him after Time Compression collapsed, or how long he'd hung on the verge, more dead than alive. The subject always struck a chord with her, which he, oddly enough, hadn't recognised until now. Seeing it now didn't change anything, although it did add more guilt to that which he already felt at her behalf. She was a good person, and for the longest time the only true friend he'd had. She didn't deserve what he put her through during the war, and she didn't deserve what he put her through now.

She didn't resist when he pulled her into another embrace.

"I'm sorry, Fuu. I really am."

Fuujin leaned against him, her face rubbing against his shoulder. "Can you undo it?"

"No."

"The action that made you this, was it worth it?"

In his mind's eye, Squall's grey eyes smiled at him. "Yes. Yes, it's worth it."

"Then I'll do what I've always done." She looked up at him. "I'll trust you to do what you must. And I'll support you, whatever it is. Unconditionally."

To her, loyalty and love were that simple. The kind of devotion he'd already felt guilty about when she and Raijin had followed him to chase his Dream, without knowing what the extend of that was, or which consequences it would bring. He couldn't help but feel a deep love for her. He just wasn't sure if it was enough for her.

As if reading his mind, she pressed her finger on his lips. "Don't worry. I'll always be there for you, regardless of the path you chose. But… I do want you to promise me something."

He smiled at her. "If I can, I will."

"Just… " Her face saddened again. "Just promise me you won't become like her."

He pulled her to him so she couldn't see his face. He couldn't promise. Deep down in his heart, he knew he couldn't promise he'd always stay in control. But he could promise he'd be stopped before he could do any damage.

"I promise, Fuu," he whispered to her. "I promise."

After all, he had a Knight now, and that was what Knights were for.


	18. Chapter 18

At long last, Squall had formulated a sufficiently credible lie that should keep Zell's nastier side off his back, at least for now:

"Yes, I did know she'd gone missing, and yes, I went off to find her by myself. I only brought Seifer with me because he's got close-up experience with… _unstable_ Sorceresses and how they think. And he's strong and able enough to fight her if… my worst expectations are confirmed."

The short blonde looked terse. "You think she might've gone down Ultimecia's lane?"

"It's a possibility we have to consider."

"And you trust that turncoat to back _you_ up instead of _her _when push comes to shove?" Zell didn't even try to hide the fact that he, at least, didn't. "She used to be his girlfriend, remember?" he argued.

Squall gave 'unimpressed' his best shot. "There's a lot about Seifer you don't know."

In the last few months, Zell had learned a number of things. One of them was how to bait Squall Leonheart for a proper reaction:

"If what you told us yesterday morning is true, Rinoa will wind that bastard around her little finger just as fast as Ultimecia did."

The martial artist caught Squall's arms before they even came near his collar.

"Just as I thought…" Zell grinned with unusual maliciousness as he pushed the silent but clearly livid Squall back. "There was more to Almasy's return than just politics, isn't there?"

Squall shot him a glare. "Since when did you get yourself involved with politics?" he sneered. "But for you information," he added as he straightened himself, "Seifer's reinstatement in Garden was nothing _but_ politics." It wasn't a lie. At the time it had been politics. Mostly.

Zell didn't buy into it, though.

"You keep telling yourself that, baby. But, as long as he isn't in your head or anyone else's, pulling the strings like his precious Sorceress probably taught him to, he's got nothing to fear from me," the martial artist said casually. He shrugged. "Unless of course Rinoa's indeed gone crazy like you think, and he decides to side with her. Then I'll fucking kill him three ways from Sunday!"

Squall's expression was colder than Shiva's when he met Zell's eyes.

"I'm absolutely convinced that he won't do either."

"If you say so…" There was that grin again.

Squall rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation. He considered Zell a friend, but this overly hostile behaviour of his was both alienating and worrisome.

"So now what?" he snapped. "Did you come all this way to insult my friend and my girlfriend in my face? Or was there actually a point to this expedition of yours?"

Zell nodded. "I'm under orders to bring the both of you back to Garden so we can launch a… What did the Headmistress call it? Yes, a _co-ordinated_ search for Rinoa."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Zell."

Squall turned on his heels at the voice coming from behind him. There, in the doorway to the kitchen, was Seifer, with Fuujin right behind him. The blonde looked intently at him.

"We got everything we came to Matron's for, right?"

Squall's mind kicked into gear as it caught on to the opening Seifer provided. He slowly started to nod, hoping it would look as if he was running down some mental checklist before confirming. "You ready to go back then?" he asked, just to make sure he'd understood right.

Seifer shrugged nonchalantly. "Unless Matron can think of some more tips."

Edea, who had been standing in a corner of the room as Squall and Zell faced off, now found herself in the centre of attention. Her eyes looked momentarily haunted as she searched for words that would both be meaningful and not too obvious.

"Ehm…? Tips? I…Well… The only thing I can think of right now is that… yes, the amount of effort needed to control pure magic is influences by the amount of magic you have. Having more than one set of magic… Like _Rinoa_ does, that is… It doesn't just make the Sorceress stronger, it also means that she has to put a lot more effort into controlling her powers." She looked imploringly at Seifer. "I'm afraid that's the only advice I can give you right now."

* * *

Seifer let Edea's words sink in. A brush against his arm drew his attention. Looking down, he met Fuujin's worried face. This wasn't what she had wanted to hear. It wasn't what he had wanted to hear either. But there it was. 

There was an awkward silence in the room. Squall looked tense. He had become Commander once more, and that was probably for the best with a capricious Chickenwuss on their hands. Seifer had no idea what Squall had told Zell or how much. He'd just have to wing it as usual.

He gave Squall a brisk nod, which the brunet mimicked to no one in particular.

"Right. I guess we're ready to go then. Zell, give the rental company a call where they can pick up their car and get your team on board of Ragnarok. I'll just go grab the rest of my gear."

Seifer stepped aside to let him pass to the back door, and caught Fuujin staring after Squall like a predator stares at its prey.

"You can trust him," he told the silver-haired woman.

"Settled your differences then, Almasy?"

Some things never change, and Zell's voice still grated on his nerves. Taking a deep breath to keep his cool, he turned on the martial artist with a nasty smile.

"We're grown men now, Zell," he said. "_We _outgrew our teenage rivalry." He took a step closer. 'How 'bout _you_?"

The short blonde clenched his fists, but to Seifer's surprise managed to control his anger.

"Let's just say I've got a _very_ good memory," he growled between clenched teeth.

Seifer felt a gradual but strong increase in energy. His adrenaline fuelled his magic, or the other way around. Baiting Zell had always been so much fun…

"Is that even possible with all those GF's you need to keep junctioned to pack a punch?"

Zell's face reddened in anger and he raised his fists threateningly.

"Already at each others' throat?" Squall commented as he returned, slightly winded. "Took you all of two seconds, didn't it?"

Seifer looked away like a guilty but unrepentant schoolboy who'd set fire to the teacher's skirt again. In the corner of his eyes he saw Zell lower his clenched fists as the red of his cheeks intensified for shame.

"Almasy said…" Zell started, but Squall silenced him with a glare.

"Save it. Why haven't you and your team boarded yet?"

"He didn't…" Zell began again.

"I didn't order Seifer to board. I _did,_ however, order _you_ to board. Did you even make the call to the rental company?"

"Uhm, I, eh…"

"Didn't think so," Squall stated deadpan. Then, when Zell didn't move, he added: "Well?"

Zell scurried to the telephone.

Seifer smirked.

* * *

The trip back to Garden as long as it was boring. All six of them stayed up in the cockpit on compelling request of Zell. Not that Zell's wishes were so all-powerful, but ignoring them might set appearances even more against them than they already were. Seifer understood that. He just wished he and Fuujin had a bit more privacy to catch up on recent events. 

Zell's team mates were pressed in the corner, and averted their eyes every time Seifer looked at them. It was hard to tell if this was his life-long reputation at work, or if they sensed something out him was off.

Zell himself was quite the opposite. The short blonde was sitting in the chair opposite of him, eyeing his every movement. But he said nothing unless addressing Squall or his team. Commander Leonheart had made it very clear that any hostilities from anyone would not be tolerated.

But since making that promise, Squall had been staring out the cockpit window in complete silence.

The tension between the lot of them was a thick as an overcooked layered cake. And just as invigorating, too. Seifer didn't even notice he'd fallen asleep until the racking sound of Ragnarok's thrusters woke him up.

"Hmm…We there yet?" he asked as he stretched his arms over his head.

Fuujin nodded. "DOCKING."

And indeed Squall was carefully manoeuvring the giant ship into Balamb Garden's seemingly tiny hangar. Zell, who had been pacing in the back of the cockpit, nearly lost his balance when Ragnarok shook as she hit her anchoring points and the mores clamped onto her hull. Then there was just the whining of the engines running down.

"Ah, the welcoming committee," Squall remarked casually when he saw the entrance door to the bay open, admitting the familiar shape of Quistis as well as half a dozen suspicious technicians with more guns than wrenches in their tool belts. He eyed Zell. "Anything you didn't tell us?"

The jumpy blonde peered out the window. "Nope. I guess she's just got the same reservations as me 'bout _him_." He thumbed over his shoulder at Seifer.

Seifer saw the men, too. He didn't like the way this was going.

"Should I be handing over my weapon yet?"

"Most certainly not!" Squall barked with enough force to startle Zell. "You're no prisoner, and you're definitely not showing Quistis throat just because she's getting jittery."

"Okay, okay. Just checking."

They disembarked as a unit. Squall kept an eye on the 'technicians' moving in a strategic circle while pretending to look for a maintenance panel to remove. He saw Seifer had noticed the same.

"Is this really necessary?" Squall yelled across the bay at Quistis.

The tall woman just smiled until they were close enough for polite conversation.

"And hello to you, too, Squall," she said pleasantly. "Yes, I'm afraid this precaution is quite necessary. With Sorceress Rinoa gone without a trace, we have increased security in all Gardens."

"Ah. So it's 'Sorceress Rinoa' now, not just good old Rinny?"

Quistis gave him a serious, heartfelt look. "When worst comes to worst, I'd rather kill a Sorceress than my friend."

Squall's return glare was one of disgust. "Really? Sorceress Edea or Matron, whatever we called her, we we're still trying to kill the closest thing we had to a mother. Or was that just me thinking that?"

The temperature in the room dropped a few degrees.

"To each his own," Quistis stated coolly, ending the discussion. "Now, will you all follow me? We've called an emergency council in the Headmistress' office."

Five minutes and an elevator ride later, they ditched Zell's team mates at the door of Xu's office. The meeting was classified, as Quistis had explained. She also looked Seifer up and down, as if waiting for something.

"He is coming, too," Squall told her decisively.

"He's not Garden staff, and definitely not a member of the emergency council."

"He _is_ an authority where it comes to rogue Sorceresses, and so is Fuujin. And as Commander of Garden I want him on the council. I _am_ still Commander, aren't I?" He glared at her, daring her to contradict him.

But Quistis just narrowed her eyes and then readjusted her glasses. "This way, gentlemen."

When the door opened, Squall was not surprised to find out that the 'emergency council' consisted of a select group of staff members: Xu, Selphie and a handful of others were already waiting for them. What did surprise him, though, was the fact that one of them was tied to a chair and looking thoroughly defeated.

"Irvine?"

The cowboy turned his head sadly in acknowledgement, but Squall was pushed aside as the rest of the party filed in behind him before he could catch the man's eye. It fired his indignation even further.

"What the Hell is the meaning of this?" he demanded sharply.

Behind her desk, Xu shifted in her chair.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Commander."

Squall bit his lip in rapidly growing anger, but forced himself to hold his tongue while Xu continued.

"Mr Kinneas here was caught passing information of our troop movements to a party outside of Garden."

Squall closed his eyes for a long moment and then glared at her.

"Troop movements? You mean Zell and his merry men on the long road to Centra?"

"It was a classified operation!" Xu snapped.

"I thought classified meant no one but you, Quistis and me know about it," he shot back. "If Irvine knows about it, it wasn't all that classified." He wasn't going to rat Irvine's source out if he could help it, but Selphie's cheeks did turn a deeper shade of pink.

On the far side of the room, Xu's face already began to show the first signs of losing her temper. "He could be a spy," she countered. "A spy for the Sorceress _you_ were supposed to keep in check."

Squall waved his hand dismissively. "Irvine is no spy. He isn't trained to be one. He is loyal to Garden and Garden command. Did you even think to check on what number he was calling when he was 'passing information'?"

"Of course we did," said Selphie, head of Garden Intelligence. She _was_ a trained spy, Squall recalled.

Quistis added: "The number was that of the house of another known Sorceress."

Squall resisted the urge to role his eyes, but behind him, Seifer began to chuckle.

"Let me guess: the house of Edea Kramer?" the blonde inquired with sarcastic mirth.

Squall didn't wait for the obvious answers to be articulated.

"You knew where we were," he said. "You knew we were in Centra. And you knew we were at Edea's, or Zell wouldn't have found us so quickly. And it didn't even cross your minds that Irvine was calling _me_?"

Xu leaned forward. "A more interesting question would be 'what were you two doing visiting Edea Kramer?'."

Squall heard Seifer gritting his teeth. "Nothing more than what you already deduced," he interjected before Seifer could blurt anything they'd both regret. "I found out Rinoa had gone missing, so I took Garden's one authority on how Sorceresses think, namely Seifer, to the only other authority on what it's like to be a Sorceress, namely Edea Kramer. Find out how it happened, and why."

There was a brief silence.

"Okay," Xu said, "In that case, why did you tell Irvine where you'd gone, but not anyone else? And why did you have him warn you a Garden team was on the way over?"

Squall's face grew stony. "For the very same reason you confirmed to me from the moment we arrived here. I needed answers before alerting Garden officially to avoid a panic reaction. An attempt which I now see was in vain anyway."

"I'm _not _the silly woman you take me for, Commander. I'm not panicking, but I am suspicious. You are Rinoa's Knight. Mr Almasy over there has a history with her as well. Who's to say you didn't hide her in Centra?" She turned to Zell. "Mr Dincht, did you search the Kramer premises?"

"Eh, no, Ma'am. Didn't think there was need to. Squa… I mean, the Commander and Almasy came along when we asked them to, so…"

"No reason to suspect anything was hidden in the house?"

Squall shook his head. "This is ridiculous!"

"There isn't much to hide anything," Zell answered regardless. "Just a couple of rooms and the light…house… The lighthouse! Squall went back to the lighthouse before coming with us."

"Why of all the…"

"LIGHTHOUSE. EMPTY," Fuujin vouched, but was ignored.

"Could it be…"

"Surely…"

Now everyone in the room started to talk to each other without listening to what anyone else was saying.

"Definitely…"

"Manipulation for sure…"

"Going rogue…"

"A new war…"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!"

A loud bang like a gunshot shut everyone up. Squall had instinctively hit he floor, as had practically everybody else. There were bits of plaster raining down on him. Looking up, he noticed that everyone seemed to be moving sufficiently not to be dead. His next priority was to confirm the queasy feeling in his chest that it hadn't been a normal gunshot.

And indeed, the only one not on his knees was Seifer, who stood proud and upright, a second fireball flaming in his hand.

"If this fucking henhouse can keep its collective mouths shut for a few seconds at a time, maybe you could actually _listen _to what's being said!"

Seifer's voice was full and authoritarian, his face and his eyes were alight with fury. Squall watched him with growing dread. For now, everyone was as much in awe as he was, but it would just be a matter of minutes before the more perceptive of those present would connect the dots.

Fuujin was pulling Seifer's arm down, trying to get him to extinguish the flames. "Seifer, no," she pleaded with him.

But he didn't give in. Squall felt a familiar pang of fear as he recognised the look in Seifer's eyes. It was the exact same look of desperate courage he'd had back in Lunatic Pandora: he had chosen a course and now he was going to follow it to the end.

On the far side of the office, Quistis was the first to get to her feet. The look on her face was one of terrible surprise, and Squall knew the die had been cast.

* * *

Merry X-mas and a Happy New Year to everyone! 


	19. Chapter 19

It had been pure anger that had made him fire into the office ceiling, sending everyone else on their knees for shock. Rational thought had had scarily little to do with it and wasn't kicking in until now. Even as he barked the command for silence, he realised he'd overexposed himself. But he also knew he couldn't afford to stand down after the stunt he'd just pulled.

He looked around the room, at all of those who had hated him for as long as he knew them. They had hated him when he was a student, fearing his abilities more than they had appreciated them. They had hated him when he was Ultimecia's Knight, mistaking him for the real threat until it was almost too late. And now they would hate him for being a Sorcerer.

Same hate, different reason.

He growled. It wasn't as if so much would change after all, he thought bitterly. He wasn't sure he really minded that he had just blown his cover, not now he had the power to blast them all sky-high if they opposed him. Actually, he relished the prospect of getting back at them.

"Seifer, no."

He barely registered the hushed whisper, but when he did glance down, he saw that Fuujin's pleading face held more fear than he wanted to acknowledge. If anything, it punctuated that being fearsome is not a selective quality: either you don't terrify people, or you terrify them all.

Around the room, people started moving again. And that meant nasty questions at best, or full-blown panic at worst. Trying to keep his anger under wraps for now, Seifer's eyes sought and found the blue-grey of Squall's, silently asking for confirmation of what to do next. But the brunet was still to shook up to confirm anything but his anxiety. And it was about to get worse.

"Oh, God," Quistis whispered into her hand, her eyes glued on Seifer's face. "Oh God, no…"

Turning to meet her gaze, Seifer saw the fear and loathing in her eyes. Temper flaring, he crossed the distance to her with two steps and then grabbed her wrist forcefully.

"Not my choice, Instructor, but shit happens. I really had preferred none of you ever found out, but I can't stand by and watch your idiocy any longer." He squeezed her arm hard and then pointed at Irvine, who was still tied to his now upturned chair. "Untie him!"

As soon as he let go of her, and with what little dignity she could muster, Quistis stumbled over and started to undo the ropes that bound Irvine's arms and ankles.

"Where's Rinoa?" she asked in a shaky voice as she worked.

Without anything else to go on, the truth was a good option as far as he was concerned. But as he opened his mouth, he saw the stern glare Squall was giving him and reconsidered. "Somewhere safe," he replied at length.

At that moment Xu surfaced from behind her desk, looking a little dishevelled and flustered. "Is that so?" she bit as she got to her feet and brushed the plaster dust from her hair and sleeves. "Pardon me for doubting you, Mister Almasy, but I have some serious apprehensions about your definition of 'safe'."

By now, everyone else deemed it safe enough to get up as well, and again an affirmative murmur backed the Headmistress' accusation up. Seifer looked around, appraising the resistance, but was stopped by another glare, one that cut straight down to his soul this time.

Squall's eyes told him that the brunet could read Seifer as well as a Knight should. It also warned him not raise to Xu's bait. Seifer tried to let his eyes reply just how difficult it was right now to not just rip the woman's head off and be done with it. He wasn't sure if it worked, but then quality of Squall's stare changed to something that felt almost reassuring.

The whole exchange had taken perhaps two seconds before Squall turned to face Xu.

"Do you doubt my word as well, Headmistress?"

She shot him a nasty look. "The only thing I don't doubt right now is that the two of you have a lot of explaining to do," she snarled. "That," she pointed at the blackened hole in the ceiling, "was not normal para-magic. And I want a proper explanation this time!"

Squall cocked his head. The movement itself was nothing special, but Seifer could almost feel Squall's mind working the situation.

"Seifer has been a Fire Mage since the age of five," Squall ventured carefully, testing how far he needed to go to satisfy the quizzical glares from the various staff members. "True magic, but only one element. That's how he can do fireballs like this one. And that's also why Ultimecia wanted him."

"That's bullshit, Squall, and you know it!" Quistis got up and turned to face them, tossing aside the last of the ropes she had just undone.

Ignoring the irate woman, Seifer observed Irvine. The cowboy slowly sat up, rubbing his sore wrists, and then glanced up apologetically. Seifer nodded. He didn't blame Irvine. The man had done his best to help out his friends. That made it all the more hurtful that Selphie, who was supposed to care more about Irvine than anyone else, didn't even moved to check on him. On second thought that figured, since she was probably the one who had exercised her knowledge of information-extraction on him. It made him want to hurt her, but he settled for grunting in suppressed anger. It was all he could do to leave Squall the room he needed to settle things without making a mess, although the mess-scenario was rapidly becoming a realistic option.

But Squall, ever collected, just narrowed his eyes at the primary threat.

"I haven't said a word that isn't true, Quistis," the brunet warned.

"It isn't the full truth either," she spat. "What do you take us for? Illiterate fools who can't see what's right in front of them?"

Before Squall could open his mouth, Seifer laughed, a heartless and hollow sound. "You really expect an answer in your favour, Instructor?"

He strode over to her, drawing himself up to his full height. He watched her face intently, searching for the hidden fear in her expression, knowing she at least had recognised him for what he had become. Enjoying that power, he smirked and leaned forward until his face was next to hers.

"Do you expect to be considered smart and observant?" he whispered menacingly in her ear. "You consider yourself an accomplished SeeD? While the world's strongest Sorceress went rogue, unseen and unnoticed, under your noses?"

She didn't reply, but he could feel the heat radiating off her cheek.

"Oh, _SeeD _missed that, huh? And what about Squall? He's supposed to be her Knight!"

Seifer snapped his head up and glowered at Zell, cursing the annoying martial artist for his acute hearing. But what truly infuriated him was the renewed murmur from the rest of the room. Mindless words of agreement, milling, spoken only from behind the back of someone who _did_ dare to speak up. In his mind, red-hot with fury, images flashed of obliterating the room and everyone in it, blowing it up with so much force it would leave a whole in Garden's outer hull. It was a sweet prospect and the magic built up, waiting only for his explicit intention to make the image come true, regardless of who it would kill.

But another image flowed in between the anger. It was a cool, soothing blue. Only a face, a face with intentions even stronger than his own.

_Calm down. There are better ways and better moments to use your strength. _

The words, he knew, were his own, coming from that part of his mind that still listened to reason. The mere fleeting thought of Squall had triggered it and to his own surprise, both his anger and the piled-up power receded.

So that was the true power of the Knight…

Eyes trained again on reality, he realised he experience might have taken less only a few heartbeats. The timing, however, was perfect. Now he _knew_.

Straightening again, a lot calmer than before, Seifer turned to Zell.

"Rinoa never had a Knight, Zell. She had a protector, and a bed-mate…" Behind him, Squall snorted. Seifer smirked. "…possibly. But neither of those make a Knight, and one or both are never enough to keep a Sorceress from being consumed by her own powers."

A sharp throat-clearing sound drew his attention to Xu. "I find it very hard to believe that Rinoa couldn't tell the difference."

"With all due respect, Rinoa's was not the brightest light on the block," Squall interjected. "Sweet enough a girl, true, but as mature as a kitten and as dense as a rock."

Xu raised her brows in honest surprise. "Ah? Really? I thought there'd be more love lost between you two."

"In my own defence," Squall continued, ignoring the comment, "I thought promising to protect her was all there was to it. No one ever told me different."

"You're telling me you couldn't have seen it coming? Nothing indicated she was unstable?" Surprisingly, Xu's tone of voice actually accounted for reasonable doubt.

Quistis, however, snorted contemptuously. "Or couldn't you see she was coming apart because you only had eyes for Almasy lately?"

Xu, and with her a number of others, frowned in confusion. "Quistis? What are you on about?"

Seifer, unsure how to act in the face of that particular accusation, looked at Squall for clues. But the brunet stood dead-still, glaring daggers at Quistis but otherwise at a loss for words.

Taking the momentary insecurity for the sign of guilt that it was, Quistis now smiled coldly. Seifer recognised it as the same smile she'd given him in the cafeteria, only a few days ago. The cat playing with her food. Despite the knowledge he could wipe that smile off her face with a flick of the wrist, it still made his hairs stand on end.

"I am referring," she began, addressing Xu's question and the general confusion, "to a suspicion I have had for some time now: there is no logical explanation for the Commander's sudden support for Almasy. Taking him back into Garden, into the SeeD programme, and advocating on his behalf in several occasions, some of which concerned very serious matters."

Squall folded his arms before his chest. "Your point?"

Zell stepped up behind Quistis. "Same thing I said back in Centra: there's more to your support of Seifer than just politics."

"And I told you there wasn't."

"Yeah, you said that. _After_ you went for my throat for suggesting it."

Seifer's eyes widened in surprise. He had missed that.

"Really? You wouldn't have done that several months ago, would you?" Quistis continued, her eyes still locked on Squall's. "After the war, you hated Seifer. You professed that many times. Yet suddenly you sent him his weapon, which he takes as an invitation to come back to Garden. Something you encourage despite the apprehensions of the rest of Garden Command. You suddenly start disregarding Rinoa…"

"Suddenly?" Squall's face coloured a tone. "For your information, _she_ was ­cheating­ on _me_ long before Seifer came back."

Quistis shrugged. "That doesn't change the fact that your hair was wet when you came from Seifer's dorm, after spending the night there, talking about him being guilty or not of slaughtering so many." She smiled eerily. "It must have been _some_ talk for you to need a shower right there and then."

* * *

Squall felt his face flush. "You try pulling an all-nighter without some cold water in your face in the morning," he bit back, but it was weak. Still, he didn't take his eyes off hers. If he did, Xu would no doubt claim his attention and he didn't feel like going into details or admitting anything of what they would thrown at him.

To his surprise, Quistis tilted her head and smiled a genuine smile.

"I know. There could be a dozen-and-a-half other explanations for everything that happened. But all we want to know is if you did them on your own instigation."

He frowned. "What?"

"Did you want to? Or did _he_ make you?"

Less than a second later, Quistis slammed hard into the wall behind her as an unseen force blew her back. Squall started, but the why and the how were clear immediately. He would have done it himself if he'd had the power to. But he didn't, which was why it were Seifer's eyes blazing a bright golden light in stead.

"I told you then," the blonde hissed, "and I'll tell you again: I don't mess with anyone's mind!" There was an unreal edge to his voice, but Squall chose not to interfere. Shiva had told him about the previous encounter between Seifer and Quistis, and he couldn't blame Seifer for not putting up with it a second time.

But that didn't change the fact that the ice beneath their feet was getting incredibly thin. He tried to think of the easiest way out, but couldn't find anything that didn't involve an impossible amount of understanding from Xu and the others, or the inconceivable scenario of hurting friends.

In the mean time, Xu had taken a handgun from one of the desk drawers and aimed it straight at Seifer.

"The only reason you're not dead," she shouted, "is that killing you won't kill your powers!"

Squall felt himself pale. So she had caught on, too. He hadn't seen that, or the gun, coming and now there was precious little he could do but be silently grateful for the small grace that Xu really wasn't as stupid and hysterical as he sometimes thought she was. Although she _was_ trembling…

"Calm down, everyone," he started, inconspicuously reaching for Lionheart. But he stopped halfway and raised his hands when the gun swung in his direction.

"Don't move, Squall! I'll shoot both of you if I must." But she returned her aim at Seifer. "Selphie! Help Quistis. Zell, you take that rope and bind Almasy's hands. And you, Squall, tell me what the _fuck_ happened to cause all this!"

Squall made sure to nod at Seifer to allow Zell to bind him. He knew the ropes were pointless, and he was very much intending to make use of that fact.

"It's simple," he explained, slowly, editing out the less prudent bits as he went. "Seifer was training in the woods when Irvine and I bumped into him on our own session, and we decided trained as a team. Some time later, Rinoa found us and started talking. It didn't make sense, and I tried to calm her. Before I knew what happened, she had me hanging in mid-air and was strangling with magic. When her body and face contorted as well, Seifer and Irvine came to my aid. She left them no choice to go all out. She… didn't survive that."

"They told me you came back only with Seifer and Irvine. So where is her body?"

"In a container down at the Infirmary," Seifer smirked listlessly, instantly sobered by the memory. "A _small_ container."

"That's sick!" came the high-pitched voice of Selphie suddenly.

Seifer looked at her. "No, it isn't. What she was turning into, _that_ was sick."

"That may be, Mr Almasy," said Xu, "but what you did far from solved the problem. Selphie, go get a guard unit. Let them bring the most extensive material they have."

"Think that'll hold me, Headmistress?"

"No," she replied, deadly serious. "But Esthar's cryo-seal will."

* * *

What happened next had nothing to do with rational planning, but everything with pure wild survival instinct.

Squall later recalled Seifer instantly burning through his ropes and blowing Xu back before the gun went off. In the mayhem that followed, they had run out of the office and down to Ragnarok's docking bay, dodging bullets, blades and people, and Seifer blowing up everything else that got in the way. Only after the boarding ramp of the ship had closed and locked, did they notice that Fuujin had somehow managed to keep up with them.

Right now she was helping Squall launching Ragnarok by manning the guns and blowing large enough a hole in the bay doors with the rear battery. Outside, bullets from handheld guns ricocheted off the ship's hull until one more of faster officers commanded a cease-fire until the armour-penetrating material was brought in. Eventually it was, but by that time Ragnarok had just cleared the bay and was already banking away from Balamb Garden.

"GARDEN. HOW FAST?" Fuujin yelled as she fired a few more rounds for good measure.

Squall barely had time to think before Seifer told him to bring the ship around again.

"What?!" was his predictable reaction.

"I said, bring her around! Fly in a circle around Garden until I'm done."

"But…?"

"Just do it!"

More on instinct than good judgement, Squall did as he was told. In the corner of his eyes, he could make out Seifer spreading his arms, as if he was a human lightning rod. And perhaps he was. The amount of energy building up made Squall's hair crackle with static electricity.

On the second pass, the energy was becoming stifling. Fuujin had closed her one good eye and crinched slightly under the pressure. Squall found it increasingly hard to keep his eyes on the controls. Even the compass on the top right-hand corner of the cockpit consol was spinning out of control.

But Seifer was laughing. Squall couldn't tell if it was for madness, happiness, or just relief, but he was guessing a bit of all three. So much magic contained in a single human body… No wonder both it and Seifer were happy to let it out.

Then suddenly pressure in the cockpit was relieved. Eyes wide open again, Squall saw a massive lightning bolt flash briefly against the blue sky before it struck, hitting Garden somewhere near the rudder mechanism. For a fraction of a second, a net of smaller bolts could be seen spreading from the place of impact and running all over Garden's hull. Then the lights on the structure went all went out.

Behind him, Squall could hear Seifer breathing heavily but with an edge of enthusiasm.

"Take her away, Squall," the blonde said with satisfaction.

On cue, he steered away from Garden, heading east. After confirming his chosen course, he opened the throttle all the way. When Garden turned out of view, Seifer let himself fall in the nearest chair, more cheerful than Squall had seen him in a long time.

"GARDEN. BROKEN?" Fuujin asked after a while.

The blonde shook his head. "Just the largest short-out in history. Nothing they can't fix with a lot of money and, more importantly, a lot of time."

"You held back, then?"

Squall could feel the look Seifer gave him.

"What you think? Did it feel like I was holding back?"

"… No, but considering the state you were in back there, you could have blown the whole place to Kingdom Come."

There was a short silence. "Yeah, I could've," Seifer finally answered curtly, "but that would just give me another Trabia Garden on my hands, wouldn't it?"

That stung, and righteously so. "I'm sorry, I should've thought of that."

"Yeah well…" He could almost feel Seifer dismissive shrug. There was another short silence. "Fuu, why'd you come?"

"WHAT ELSE." She turned in her seat. "I mean, _you_ are my friend, Seifer. Not them. And I did promise I'd always stand by you." Squall could tell Seifer wanted to protest, but that a gesture from her hand shut him up. "And that's all there is to it," she said, a kind smile on her face that Squall knew was reserved for Seifer only.

He could have felt jealous, but he didn't. Love comes in many different forms, and the friendship and love Seifer shared with Fuujin did nothing to diminish the bond between Seifer and him. Which wasn't the same as saying that things would've been easier if it had been just the two of them making outlaws of themselves…

"So where are we going now?"

"Esthar." Squall set his face, expecting some heavy resistance.

Seifer narrowed his eyes. "Come again?"

"There's more in Esthar than just the cryo-seal. There's no place with more knowledge on Sorceresses and true magic than that place. Besides, the country is run by my father. In all, I hope that'll give us some sorely needed advantages."


	20. Chapter 20

And… here is chapter #20!

This makes _Closer To You_ officially my longest story to date (and it'll get even longer still)

Thanks for everyone for reading and reviewing. Every time I look at the stats, my jaw drops further. I'm really happy to see so many people enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it :-)

And a big thank you to my Beta LadyTwist for sticking with me all this time!

Okay, let's get on with it now.

* * *

Determined not to make the same mistake twice, the first thing Squall did after disclosing his destination of choice was turning off Ragnarok's homing device. Permanently. Which was to say that he had removed a cockpit panel, rummaged around in the electronics, and finally came up with a fistful of wiring. 

Seifer pursed his lips. "You sure you didn't just disconnect the steering system or something?"

Squall nodded as he refitted the panel. "Selphie pointed the homing beacon out to me when she was helping out the maintenance crew a couple of months ago."

"If you say so …"

The blonde's tone of voice, which was layered with annoyed indifference, didn't go unnoticed. Squall turned to look at him. "Something you want to tell me?" He knew the answer, of course, but Seifer would hate him all the more for assuming.

Seifer leaned back in his chair, giving his Knight a threatening look that actually reflected a deep, unspoken fear more than anything else. It surprised Squall; not the look itself, but the fact he could so easily see through it. The hidden anxiety couldn't have been more obvious if it had been tattooed on the blonde's forehead. True to his reputation, though, Seifer continued to glare as he answered.

"I'm not entirely happy about going to Esthar," he growled. "And that's an understatement."

"I told you…"

"I don't care!" His hand slammed hard down on the armrest as he shot to his feet. "Hyne him-fucking-self could be ruling that place and I still wouldn't want to set a single foot there! I know about Adel, too, remember?! I _know_ what Esthar thinks about Sorceress, and I _know_ what they do to them! And after what I did there, me being who I am isn't making things any easier either!"

Squall bit his lip to hold still and hear Seifer's burst out. He, too, was human before anything else, and the things the freaked Seifer out were on his mind as well. Continuously, in fact.

"Do you think I haven't given that any thought?" he interjected forcefully before Seifer could set in round two of his ranting. "Do you think I want to see you killed, or frozen into some kind of un-life? Do you think Fuujin does?!"

Seifer paled slightly, but said nothing.

"Esthar is our only chance," Squall continued, lowering his voice a bit. "It's the only place with decent knowledge about magic, and also the only place with an influential person who might help us. But, if you've got a better idea…" He shrugged. "I'm open to suggestions."

The discussion continued as a staring competition, but before long Seifer averted his eyes, silently yielding. When eventually he brought his eyes back up, most of his anger had dissipated.

"What makes you think President Loire won't have me locked up the moment he sees me, for my part in the war if not for being a Sorcerer?" His voice was calm again, as were his eyes. The fear was still there, but it was no longer in control. For now.

Trying to break the tension, Squall walked back to the pilot's sea and glanced at the cockpit instruments. "President Loire is my father," he replied at long last. "Or at least he sired me. He was never a parent to me, but he's dead set on making up for it. He's offered me nothing short of the moon to make me call him 'dad'. Said I could always ask him for anything..."

Seifer frowned. "That's cold, even for you."

"I know. But I'll do it if that's what it takes." Looking back, he noticed Fuujin shaking her head to herself. "What?" he demanded irritably.

The silver-haired woman tilted her head as she met his gaze. "CHANGE… So much has changed between you two. It's hard to believe you once hated each other."

The change of subject left the two men glancing away uncomfortably. Squall folded his arms in his characteristic manner, trying to hide a blush while Seifer stretched his back to inspect the cockpit canopy.

"Actually, we're not quite sure if either of us ever really hated the other," the blonde admitted at length. "We were just getting on each other's…ehm, good side before Rinoa went haywire."

Squall just knew the renewed heat in his cheeks made him blush too deeply to hide. He was still staring intently at a screw in one of the floor panels, but in the corner of his eye, he could see Fuujin size them up.

"Ah. I see. So Inspector Trepe was right about that then."

It wasn't a question. It also wasn't an 'I'm happy for you' kind of reply. She sighed deeply, as if this was too much to digest on top of everything else she'd found out about lately. It probably was. When Squall found the courage to look her in the eye, he saw the pain etched on her face.

"It's only recent," he offered, hoping it might give her comfort, but she shook her head even as he said it.

"It's not recent. Or is it, Seifer?" She looked at her friend with an expression that was scarily void of expectations. When he didn't answer, she just smiled faintly. "It's okay. It shouldn't have come as such a surprise anyway. I knew, somehow. The intensity with which you pursued your rivalry… I knew. I just didn't want to see it."

Seifer sighed. "Oh, Fuu…"

"Don't apologise. You don't need to. That's what I get for never telling you how deep my feelings for you run. It's just… painful to realise that I was never a contestant in the first place."

"That's not true," Seifer countered. "You're my friend. Always were, always will be. Nothing changes that."

"I know. I just never realised before how badly I was lying to myself when I said that being your friend was enough." She smiled apologetically. Her hand moved as if to reach to touch his, but she froze in mid-motion and after a moment's hesitation raised it to cup her own shoulder. "I, eh…be back in ten," she stated with a sigh of disappointment. "Don't follow." Then she turned and let the elevator carry her off the bridge.

When she was gone, Squall carefully glanced at Seifer's stupefied face.

"I never knew," the blonde whispered incredulously.

"She probably dropped enough hints over the years."

Seifer blinked a few times. "If she did, I never noticed."

Squall shrugged. "We're men. We never do."

* * *

True to her word, Fuujin did come back up after a while. Seifer could tell from her face that she had been crying, but she still quietly fended off his –admittedly awkward- attempts to comfort her until he stopped trying. She was his friend and he hated seeing her so down, but if she didn't want his company right now he respected her enough not to force it on her. 

Which was just as well. There were bigger fish to fry. Balamb Garden's propulsion system had only been the first of many, but next on the list was Esthar. More specifically, Esthar Presidential Palace.

God but he hoped Squall had his old man figured right.

"How long till we get there?" He tried to keep his voice free from unwanted emotions as he stepped up to the captain's chair.

Squall shrugged lightly. "I estimate it'll be another three hours at full throttle if we can manage to keep a direct course. Longer if we've got to divert because of weather conditions or the like."

Seifer nodded. "Can I try something?"

"Sure. As long as it won't get us killed."

The blonde smirked. "Heh, if it does, you'll never know."

He didn't wait for Squall's predictable objection before tapping into his powers. He closed his eyes and focused on formulating his intention clearly. He wanted speed. He wanted an unobstructed course. But before anything else, he wanted to save time. Get ahead of he people hunting them. Keeping himself and his friends safe. Keeping Squall safe. And do it quickly…

It wasn't words, but a feeling more than a thought. The power inside of him kept building stronger and stronger every time he repeated his intentions. He could almost see the purple light flashing in his body and in his mind. And then, just as the magic peaked, he let it go.

Ragnarok jolted for a second, but then accelerated. He could feel it. Opening his eyes, he could also see it: the clouds were shooting by faster and faster, discolouring as they went, until they were mere purple streaks against a lilac background that was indistinguishable as sky, sea or land. The world outside the cockpit seemed to come straight from a science-fiction film.

Seifer's eyes saw the astonishment on his friends' faces, but his mind didn't register it. His whole being was filled with so much energy funnelling through him it was making him high.

And yet… Something in a corner of his soul whispered that this wasn't the limit. There could be more. There was more. If only he let it. If only he let himself go, and surrender his mind to his heart's desire. If only he would give himself over to…

Suddenly, everything stopped with nauseating crack. Ragnarok was cruelly pulled back into the normal space-time continuum and shook violently as its molecules readjusted to the situation. It was a bit like hitting the emergency break at 5000 miles per hour.

Seifer fell to his knees as the energy simply dropped out of him without pulling any new energy in. It left a sense of loss than ran into his core like a gaping hole, which only slowly filled as the magic levelled out again. But it wasn't nearly as prominent as his sense of failure.

While they were still alive and no doubt quite a distance away from where he had set in, he hadn't managed to control himself. Tapping into the magic gave him a deep sense of fulfilment, but it was goading him, getting him to go in deeper and lose himself.

"Seifer?"

He heard Squall calling out to him, but didn't respond.

"Seifer, look at me!"

He couldn't. The anger was still growing, consuming him…

"Hey! Snap out of it!"

The clear, commanding tones of Squall's voice was as effective as a slap in the face. It drew his attention more forcefully than the boiling emotions within. Looking up, he saw cool, blue eyes drilling into his soul, telling him to get a grip.

So he did. A bit hesitantly at first, but he managed a few deep breaths. Then he got up again.

Squall watched him intently and then nodded. "You were a long way off, weren't you?"

"The further I go…" he replied, voice rough, "…the deeper it pulls me in."

"What did you do, then?"

Seifer turned his head a few times, stretching his neck in an attempt to ease the residual tension in his muscles. He opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a cry of surprise, apparently coming from Fuujin.

"ESTHAR!" she exclaimed, pointing out the window.

Squall frowned. "Already?"

Seifer smiled faintly as he endured Squall's inquisitive glare. In that silence, they heard several electronic bleeps coming from the navigation computer as Ragnarok alerted her pilot they had arrived at the pre-set coordinates.

Squall's brows arched spectacularly. "Time magic?" he asked in honest surprise.

"Not exactly. It's… more than that. It felt like time and space folded around us to let us take a shortcut through both." He noticed Squall's expression. "I can't think of a better way to explain it, sorry. The idea was to get us to Esthar fast. And it did."

"No kidding."

* * *

When they exited the Air Station, Seifer involuntarily stopped and stared. Esthar City spread out before them like a computer game backdrop. Transparent walkways, overhead tubes with transport devices whizzing through, people in… _unusual_ outfits... 

"Is this a movie set?"

Squall suppressed a snicker. "Not really. Being secluded from the rest of the world for so long, this place took its own approach to technology and design. The effect is a bit spacey, I agree."

"Spacey? I was more thinking along the lines of crack-addict on an overdose." Seifer looked around a bit more. "So, which way do we go? Or are we going to hang around here until they break out the local equivalent of the torches and pitchforks?"

Fuujin nudged Squall. "PRESIDENT. PROTECT?"

"I'm more or less counting on that," the brunet replied. "He may be weird, but the people here trust him. If anyone can prevent this from escalating, he can."

"And if he doesn't?"

"He won't deny the request. Not if it's me who's asking."

Seifer smirked smugly. "Let's put that theory to the test then."

After a ten-minute walk, Seifer had to conclude that his face wasn't a regularly returning feature on the dartboards in the local bars, like it was in Balamb and Galbadia, but then that might have had something to do with the obvious lack of bars in this city. Nevertheless he stayed on edge as they approached the oddly shaped entrance to the Presidential Palace.

If it really was the entrance. There wasn't a door; only an oversize barstool with the legs sawed off. The only thing that made it look official was the fact that said barstool was surrounded by a small number of guards. At least, he assumed they were supposed to be guards. Judging by the design and colour of their spandex uniforms, they might have come straight from a cartoon.

Squall gestured for them to take a seat on the barstool. Eyeing the thing suspiciously, Seifer reluctantly complied. For a moment nothing happened, but then the thing suddenly started to hover. A purple bell closed over their heads and the thing began to move, shooting up into a system of tubes and blearing lights that reminded of a particularly gaudy funfair attraction. Within seconds, though, the purple bell receded again and the hovering couch settled smoothly into a landing slot somewhere inside the palace.

"Is this supposed to go like that?"

Squall nodded.

"Good. I was beginning to think that time wrapping business left me hanging in a bad trip."

"You'd wish," Squall commented darkly. "Bad trips go away."

Seifer arched a brow. "You never did drugs, did you?"

The brunet was in his face in a heartbeat, scowl so deep it cut into his features.

"Stop smart-mouthing, Almasy! We're in the Presidential Palace now. Everything you say can and _will_ be used against you. Especially you!" Bright blue eyes lingered for a moment, but then he stepped back, glare faltering. "I lost you twice already. I don't think I can't take losing you a third time. Just… Don't let your pride mess this up."

As he watched Squall walk off and the lead the way, Seifer considered the blooming guilt in his gut nothing but justified. He'd fucked up royally back at Garden, regardless if that situation had been hopeless to begin with. He owed it to Squall to keep his temper and his tongue in check this time. A cursory glance at Fuujin confirmed that feeling.

Jogging a few steps to catch up, he fell in behind Squall.

* * *

On the wall of the waiting room, a particularly weird–looking device that was supposedly a clock ticked in a regular rhythm. It had done so for the past two hours. Squall sighed and leaved through the worn-down issue of _Weapons Monthly_ for the fifteenth time. It was the only remotely interesting magazine on the small table, but he was seriously considering reading a copy of _Chocobo Born & Bred_, just for the novelty of it. 

Announcing themselves had been easy enough: they had run into Ward Zabac just outside the president's office. Naturally the man hadn't said a thing in reply to Squall's urgent request to speak to Laguna, but the feeling of 'I'll see what I can do' had come across quite clearly, as had the feeling of 'this could take a while'.

Maybe it was just as well. Pushing it too much might actually reduce Laguna's inclination to help. The old man was daft, but not stupid. And Kiros and Ward were neither. He'd have to play this very carefully. This wasn't Garden, and there was no escape route if things got out of hand here.

He glanced to his left. Seifer sat tucked away in the brim of his coat, apparently dozing. Not surprising after the stunts he'd pulled getting them out of Garden and into Esthar. A few seats further down, Fuujin was engrossed in some culinary magazine. She hadn't said a word since they got in.

The clock ticked on.

And on.

When the doors to Laguna's office finally opened, the sudden sound almost startled him. Seifer shot up, too, body straightening without his mind being fully awake yet. Only Fuujin didn't look surprised. She just cocked her head and observed the large frame of Ward stepping into the waiting room, gesturing them to come in.

Squall got up. Seifer moved as well, but to their mutual surprise, Fuujin folded her hands in her lap. "I'll wait," she told them. "This is your meeting, not mine."

There was no time or opportunity to argue, but Squall knew he wouldn't have anyway. He nodded curtly and motioned Seifer to step inside the office, silently grateful that he didn't meet any resistance from the puzzled blonde.

The Presidential Office hadn't changed since the last time he had been here, now several months ago. The set-up hadn't changed either: Laguna sat behind his desk, writing something. At his one side he was flanked by the lithe form of Kiros Seagill. Ward took up his position at Laguna's other side, but not until after firmly shutting the office doors first. Then, when everyone was in position, Laguna looked up.

"Squall!" he exclaimed with heart-felt enthusiasm as he got up and rounded his desk to embrace his son. "So good to see you! How have you been all this time?"

Squall forced himself to put some emotion in his return embrace, even if it was really just despair mixed with a hint of foolhardy hope. Anything to make it more genuine than it felt.

"It's been a while," he admitted. "I'm sorry, but there has been so much to take care of…"

Laguna waved him into silence. "I know, I know. There's little free time for a leader of many. Got the same problem, so I can't blame you. And I don't." He grinned widely. "You're here now, and that's what counts!"

At times like this Squall felt both embarrassed that this overly cheerful man was his father, and ashamed that he couldn't be a better son to someone who, in all honesty, deserved better than to be ignored by his only child. And it was going to happen again.

"I'm afraid I'm not here for pleasure," he started, but Laguna waved him off for a second time.

"I know that," the older man replied kindly. "If this was a social call, you'd have brought closer friends."

Wary of the sudden change of tone, Squall tested the ground. "Seifer _is_ a close friend, Laguna. The only one I truly trust at the moment."

Laguna frowned. "You sure that's a good call? I mean…" He turned to Seifer, eyeing him like an art appraiser would a suspected forgery. "It's true I'd forget my own head if it wasn't attached to my shoulders, but I never forget a face." He nodded to himself, not taking his eye off Seifer. "Yes, I remember you. Back in Lunatic Pandora, just before you disappeared. Ellone and I really did believe you had been killed when Time Compression collapsed."

Seifer stood to attention like a drilled soldier. "Sorry to disappoint you, Mr President."

"Disappointed? I guess I am, a bit. It was a comforting thought, knowing both Ultimecia and her Knight were dead. But I guess you can't have it all. Now, Squall, what was this about trust?"

Squall nervously cleared his throat. "Garden has been confronted with a situation that is far from desirable, and Headmistress Philips and myself differ strongly on how to solve it." An understatement if he ever used one.

"Situation? What kind of situation? Why come to Esthar to solve it?"

"Because…" He sighed. "Because Esthar is the sole authority on technology dealing with true magic."

While Laguna worked on interpreting the fine mechanics of diplomatic answers, Kiros suddenly lunged forward with furious resolution.

"This is about Sorceress Rinoa, isn't it?" he demanded. "What happened? Did she go rogue?"

Squall through for a moment but then nodded. There was no way of getting what he wanted without at least telling a part of the truth.

"I knew it!" He turned to Laguna. "I told you we shouldn't have let him save her!" He rounded on Squall again without waiting for a reply. "Where is she? Is she contained?!" he continued.

"She is still at Garden, and contained for now. It's not down to the hack-and-slash stage yet, but I want to catch it before it comes that far."

"Catch it? Catch it how, Leonheart?"

"That's where the Headmistress and I disagree. She wants to put her in the cryo-seal, like Adel, and I want to consult Dr Odine for an alternative."

Kiros opened his mouth, but Laguna's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"It's only natural the boy seeks an alternative. Save the one he loves instead of literally sealing her fate. Heck, I'd do it if I was in his shoes."

"You would," the black man conceded.

"So you can't blame him for trying. And if there's still time, like he says, then I don't see why we shouldn't let him."

Kiros shook his head. "There's no telling how much time there's left. It could already be too late!"

"Not a problem there," Laguna beamed, eyes smiling even more than his face. "The three of us got Adel. Squall and his friends got Ultimecia. So if something does go wrong, I'm sure we can take Rinoa down if we must." He slapped Squall jovially on his back. "That settles it! I'll write a letter for Odine telling him to help you any way he can. And don't hesitate to ask if you need anything else. By the way, have you got a place to stay yet?"

Squall was speechless. He had hoped he could get Laguna to yield. But he hadn't expected anything like this. Could it really be this easy?

* * *

A/N: Of course it's not! That's what being a tragic hero is all about! 

Yeah, I'm mean, I know (grins evily) . R&R and let me know if you agree.


	21. Chapter 21

Late late late! I know! Sorry to keep you waiting. Hundred thousand excuses, but it really just boils down to my inspration taking a holiday.

Enjoy!

* * *

It had to be said: the guest rooms in the Esthar Presidential Palace were the most luxurious rooms anywhere in the world. Okay, the gilded decorations were gaudy enough to make your teeth shatter on sight, but the bed was soft, comfortable and _huge_. It was the kind of bed that was so large you could sleep on it sideways without any part of your anatomy hanging over the edge. That very feature also made it very suitable for other activities than sleeping, but considering where they were, that was probably not a good idea. Besides, last night he had barely gotten out of his clothes before falling dead asleep.

Which was probably why his stomach was screaming for attention by the time he woke up.

Egged on by his innards, Seifer lazily opened one eye. With a half-fuzzy glance, he registered the totally alien surroundings and immediately bolted up. The force of habit made him grope around for Hyperion, but by the time he got hold of the black blade, realisation of his whereabouts had dawned.

"Oh, fuck…"

Tension deflating, he sat down on the bed again and tried to rub some life into his face and neck. The term 'groggy' just got a new definition as far as he was concerned. His head felt like wood, his mouth like cardboard and his brains weren't back yet from whatever detour they'd taken. It felt like a hangover, but somehow didn't quite fit that bill. The total lack of alcoholic beverages might have something to do with that.

What time was it anyway? Or what _day_ for that matter? He felt like he'd slept for three days straight, or barely three hours. The initial feeling of displacement after waking up was usually the same in both scenarios.

He looked around in an attempt to locate a clock, but his eyes didn't get any further than the table by his bed. On it was a tray with was appeared to be last night's dinner: steak and vegetables. It was cold now, and didn't look nearly as appetising as it probably had when it had left the kitchen. He briefly debated if the side serving of what was by now rock-hard toast was worth a try, but his stomach vetoed the thought. He was hungry, not desperate.

To pass the time until his mind caught up with the programme, he sauntered in the direction of what appeared to be the bathroom. Which, once the door was open, raised an entirely new set of questions, beginning with...

"What the Hell?"

The bathroom was a very dark grey with gold details and blue glowing panels. It looked nothing like the standard issue bathroom he knew. It looked mostly like, well, a dark grey room of about 3 by 5 metres entirely void of any kind of sanitary furniture. The only thing that hinted that there might be a bathroom hidden in here somewhere was the screen on the wall which listed familiar words like 'shower', 'toilet', 'wash basin' and 'towels'. Listening to the call of nature, he touched the second word in the list. There was a brief hum, and then a panel in the wall disappeared and a fully equipped toilet bowl slid out.

Seifer stared at it. "And just when you think you've seen it all."

Half an hour later he stepped out of his room, showered, dressed and fully armed. Much to his surprise, Squall was already there, leaning against the far wall as if he had been waiting for quite a while already.

"Ah, look who decided to join the living," the brunet said as he detached himself from the wall.

"And good morning to you, too, sunshine."

"Afternoon," Squall corrected.

Seifer frowned. "What?"

"I let you sleep in. You looked like you needed it."

"I see…" Seifer cocked his head. "What did I miss?"

Squall shrugged. "Dinner, breakfast. Lunch, too, in fact, but I brought you some to go." He tried to look stoic as he held up a small plastic bag full of sandwiches, but an endearing smile shone through anyway. "I thought you could use some extra rest after what happened the last few days."

"Much appreciated." Seifer returned the smile as he accepted his lunch, but was careful not to take too many liberties. In places like this, the whole building had more senses than a psychic. You never knew _who _was watching. It turned out to be a good call.

"Ah, there you are!" boomed President Loire's ever-cheerful voice all of a sudden. "I've been looking all over the place for you, my boy."

Seifer noticed Squall cringe almost imperceptibly at the last word, and couldn't suppress a smirk. It felt good to know, despite what everyone said, he wasn't the only who hated that belittling term.

Squall otherwise ignored the comment, though, and nodded in acknowledgement.

"I just came to pick up Seifer. Our next destination was to be your office."

"No need for that then," Laguna concluded as he carefully sized up his son's companion. From the look on the older man's face, Seifer made out that a good night's sleep and a shower hadn't done anything to increase his credibility.

Laguna shook his head and turned back to Squall. "I guess you wanted this," he said, handing over an envelope donning the Esthar presidential seal. "I've ordered Dr Odine to give you everything you need and help you to his best abilities. I hope it helps. He's fickle man, and I'm not sure if he'll take it to heart, but I don't think he'll give you much trouble. Anything to do some serious experimenting, as he calls it."

"Will he keep it secret?" Squall asked as he put the envelope in inside pocket of his uniform jacket.

Laguna shrugged. "Usually he won't speak to outsiders other than myself about his experiments, but once it works, he'll tell anyone."

Squall frowned, but nodded nonetheless. "Let's hope that by then it won't make a difference anymore." He turned to Seifer. "You ready?"

"Just need to pick up Fuu."

"Um, didn't she tell you?"

Seifer pinned the President of Esthar with a look that had made armed SeeD wet their pants. "Tell what?"

Oblivious of the threatening pose, or at least pretending he was, Laguna glanced up at him in complete innocence. "Well, she left this morning. Alone, Kiros told me. Didn't say where she'd be going, but then she might have told you, of course… Eh, did she?"

Seifer glared darkly at him. "No, she didn't." Then he turned his attention to Squall, silently asking him the same question. But Squall cocked his head in a gesture that the trained Squall-observer recognised as a negative answer.

"Can we trust her?" the brunet asked quietly, his tone of voice suggesting that he knew the answer but only wanted to hear it so Laguna would as well.

Seifer hoisted Hyperion onto his shoulder. "I trust her with my life."

"Then we'll leave it be for now and proceed without her. I wouldn't be surprised if we run into her along the way."

With Laguna bidding them good luck, they left the Palace without much ado. Squall remained silent until they were well away from the Palace entrance and the hustle and bustle of street life drowned out their conversation to anyone more than three feet away. Seifer was just taking a bite from one of the sandwiches when his Knight decided to speak his mind.

"That was wishful thinking, wasn't it?"

"Mhuw?"

"That we'll run into Fuujin somewhere in the city."

Seifer hurriedly swallowed the semi-dry bread. "Possibly," he replied between coughs. "She'll stand out in this place, if she stays here."

"There isn't much outside the city limits. But then the city is still several miles across. Enough places to hide."

"Huh," Seifer agreed solemnly. "What alarms me most is that she left in the first place. The only other time she left on her own accord after promising she wouldn't was in Lunatic Pandora."

Squall's expression darkened. "In that case I hope it is tell-tale that back then she and Raijin kept to themselves instead of siding with Garden."

That said, they kept silent the rest of the way. Seifer had no idea how to navigate this labyrinth of a city, but Squall seemed to know his way around well enough, so he just followed and took what opportunity he had to eat the rest of his lunch.

* * *

It always amazed Squall how easily you could find your way in Esthar once you got the hang of it. From practically every walkway in the city centre you could see all the others, and all major locations had their names written in huge letters on the ground near their exit. Standing right here, you had to be blind to miss the three-foot 'Research Laboratory' spelled in white on the blue walkway. Still, it didn't quite surprise him that he had to tug Seifer's sleeve to stop the blonde from walking straight past it.

"We're here," he nudged.

Seifer glanced back, and blinked a few times before the coin dropped. "Huh? Oh, right."

"Thinking about Fuujin?"

"Yeah. I'm worried about her."

Squall reached up to briefly brush his lover's face, never staying his hand long enough to raise suspicion from onlookers, but enough to change the emotion behind Seifer's eyes.

"I know, I know. She can take care of herself."

Squall nodded. "I know how much she means to you, but right now we've got other things to worry about."

"That was next on my list," Seifer replied gruffly, gesturing vaguely at the laboratory building. "What are we going to tell that guy? If he's really an authority on sorceresses he'll have me figured in no time flat."

Thinking about your fear and having it spelled out to you are different things. Squall had spent the better part of last night considering just this problem. Unsuccessfully.

"I've got no pretensions that we'll be able to keep the truth under wraps for very long," he admitted. "And there's no telling how Odine will react exactly. Last time, when he saw Rinoa, he treated her like an insect in a jar."

Seifer shot him a deadpan look. "I don't do well in jars, y'know?"

"I just want to find out as much as possible before any jars, or cryo-seals for that matter, get involved."

They started down the walkway to the entrance of the lab. The first ten meters were crossed in silence, but then Seifer slowed a bit.

"What're you hoping for?" he inquired, keeping his voice low in case anyone of anything was listening.

That too was something Squall had given a lot of thought last night. Motioning the blonde to keep up, he flashed Laguna's letter at the guards and strode in without breaking pace. To his relief, the guards didn't even give Seifer a second glance as he followed. They sat down on the tiny elevator to Odine's main lab before Squall finally answered.

"Information," he said when he was sure they were out of earshot of the guards. "Anything that'll give us an edge over Garden." He sighed nervously. "Basically…anything that'll help me protect you."

The hand on his shoulder was more of a validation than words ever could be. Swallowing his own insecurity, he gave Seifer a quick smile before straightening himself to face the oncoming events.

Dr Odine was something of a clown, Squall had always felt. The man was small, with beady eyes set in a wrinkly face, and dressed to compensate. Or at least that was what he expected the brightly coloured, oversized collar was for. However, the man's ego was a compensation for everything. And as Squall had expected, Dr Odine was not at all happy about being disturbed.

"Vat iz this? Vat do you vant!?" the scientist exclaimed upon seeing two uninvited guests appear in his laboratory.

Squall approached a few steps. "Dr Odine, I am Squall Leonheart, Commander of the Garden Organisation. Perhaps you remember we have met before?"

The wrinkled face looked him up and down. "Yes, I remember you. And zen?"

"I've got a letter from President Loire," he replied, handing over Laguna's letter. It was all but ripped from his fingers. Recognising a tricky situation when he was knee-deep in one, Squall decided an appeal to vanity might smoothen things a bit: "I came to him for advice, and he told me you were the man to see about this matter."

It had the desired effect. Having read the letter, Dr Odine sudden threw his hands in the air.

"Of course I am ze best! Magic, sorceresses, zey are my speciality!" He hurried over to the large computer on the far side of the room and frantically started typing. A schematic of a familiar female body appeared on the large screen.

"This iz about her, no? About Sorceress Rinoa?" Dr Odine clapped his hands in delight. "Did you bring her? Zere are so many more experiments I vant to do vith her before she iz sealed again."

Squall and Seifer exchanged looks.

"Un…fortunately, we couldn't bring her. Right now, we just have some questions, if that is all right with you, Doctor."

Dr Odine was visibly disappointed. "Fine, fine. A few, zen. But next time, you must bring her vith you!"

"We will if we can," Squall lied to keep the peace. For now they were in, but the ice was incredibly thin. Anything could set the doctor off enough to kick them out. They had to choose their questions carefully if they wanted answers that would actually be of any help.

His mind speeding up to come up with something useful while evading the political traps, Squall opened his mouth to formulate the first question, but was cut short by another one.

"Who iz he?" Dr Odine inquired with a tone mostly used by mothers judging their only daughter's new boyfriend.

Squall almost _felt_ his mind going into overdrive.

"Mr Almasy is attached to Garden for his knowledge of Sorceresses and true magic. His experiences in that field have proved valuable so far, but are not sufficient to fully comprehend the situation we are in right now." Not a bad safe, if he did say so himself.

Dr Odine, however, was not impressed. "Evil Knight!" he spat, literally spewing a large blob of saliva at Seifer's face. In hindsight, Squall considered it divine intervention that the blob fell short and landed on the blonde's boot instead. He probably would've had to scrape the good doctor from the walls, ceiling and carpet if it hadn't. Another confirmation that there is a god was that Seifer snarled but otherwise kept his eyes averted. Sometimes it's best to be grateful for little things.

Only when he began to speak again did Squall realise that he had been holding his breath.

"Doctor, please. Mr Almasy is my right hand and confidant. I ask you to treat him that way."

Against his expectations, this seemed to work. Odine sized Seifer up one more time, and then made a dismissive gesture, as if Seifer wasn't worth even his anger. It made Squall's blood boil with indignation and a surprisingly strong drive to protect. He hadn't been aware of such emotions before, or at least not as strong. That alone only further underlined how much he had _not_ been Rinoa's Knight.

Speaking of which…

"Doctor, there are a few important matters concerning Sorceress Rinoa that we really need an answer to."

All animosity vaporised instantly, and Dr Odine gave Squall his full attention. "Yes?"

Squall took a deep breath and began: "As I'm sure the President's letter has detailed, there might be a chance that Sorceress Rinoa is going rogue. In order to know when to make which decision, there are a few things I need to know. Firstly, I understand that Sorceresses are not necessarily female."

"Zat iz correct. Hyne himself was a man, or so ze legend tells uz."

"Would there be any difference between a male or female sorceress? In terms of strength, stability, that sort of thing?"

Dr Odine rubbed his chin in thought. "It iz generally believed zat men are more stable, but zis is not necessarily true. It would depend on ze individual's character. Strong moral fibre makes a good Sorceress, hotheads make a bad vun."

"Rrrright. Okay. Clear." He shot Seifer a wary look. "We'll start her on sedatives as soon as we get back."

Seifer nodded curtly in reply, the hard lines around his mouth evidence that he had understood what was really being said, and not liking it one bit.

"Another major concern, Squall continued to Odine, "is how strong her magic is. You see, Sorceress Edea had gotten her original powers as a child. Later in life, she also received powers from Sorceress Ultimecia, although she wasn't sure if she had received all of them. Then, during the war, both those powers were transferred to Rinoa, who then _also _gained the powers of Sorceress Adel when we killed her… him… whatever. We need to know what the consequences are of one person carrying several sets of Sorceress powers."

It sounded plausible enough. And as if on cue, Dr Odine hopped over to his computer and typed away for a while until the screen changed to show a number of complicated looking equations.

"That iz a very interesting question. Zere are not very many multiple Sorceresses to study. Sorceress Rinoa iz the only vun if have had in my laboratory. But zere are old books about them. Zese say, Sorceress vith two powers iz twice as strong. Sorceress vith zree powers, she is zree times as strong."

Squall's eyes widened. "Three times? You're saying Rinoa is three times as strong as any other Sorceress?"

"Maybe! Only maybe! Ze powers must be complete in order to multiply. And if Sorceress Edea got incomplete powers from Sorceress Ultimecia, zen they don't count. Sorceress Edea iz only vun sorceress strong, and Sorceress Rinoa would be too, until she got powers from Sorceress Adel."

"Incomplete powers remain dormant then?"

"Vun could say that."

"And if, for argument's sake, all the powers that Rinoa holds were to meet up with the missing piece of Ultimecia's." He folded his arms before his chest as he gazed at the tiny doctor. "What would happen then?"

Dr Odine shrugged. "Simple: ze first triple sorceress in zenturies."

That hit home with a bit more force than he'd thought. He swallowed hard as he filed that knowledge for future reference.

It all made sense, though. Edea hadn't been more powerful than was to be expected, and far from unstable; same went for Rinoa until she got Adel's powers. Ultimecia's power had never counted for them, because Seifer had had the missing piece all the while.

But one gigantic fireball had changed all that, with dire consequences. It was impossible to anticipate what a triple sorceress could do, especially if he or she had a temper like Seifer's. He recalled with grim reluctance that Ultimecia had needed two sets of power in addition to her own in order to achieve Time Compression. That began to outline how dangerous Seifer would seem to the rest of the world. If another sorceress of that magnitude were to lose control and go rogue on the world…

"How… how emotionally stable is a multiple sorceress?"

A tiny, slightly creepy smile appeared on Odine's face. "Two sets of powers are twice az difficult to control. Zree sets zrice, and so on."

Squall ventured a quick glance over his shoulder. Seifer's face was rapidly losing colour. Looking back at Odine, he felt his own stomach do a try-out for the circus as well.

"Anything the Sorceress' Knight can do to alleviate that?" he asked through dry lips.

The doctor shook his head. "Not much. A Knight iz a Knight iz a Knight. He does what he can, but zere are some battles man cannot vin. Triple sorceresses are very rare because zey do not last long. Ze powers often kill zem before anyvun else can. Zat is ze vun thing zeir Knight cannot do anything against."

Squall felt his whole being resenting that statement with furious determination. He knew, somehow, that it was fundamentally wrong. A Knight _could_ do more. It was just that no one remembered what it was. Neither did he, right now. But he would. If there was one thing he was certain off in this mess they were in, it was this:

When the time was there, he'd know what to do.

* * *

Oh, but I love shortening the hero's life expectancy

I'm mean, I know.


	22. Chapter 22

Aaaaand we're back! Thank you for your patience. I hope it's worth the wait.

A slower-paced instalment this time: Let's call it the calm before the storm, shall we?

* * *

The afternoon sun beat down on the streets of Esthar City. The air was hot and brewing. So was someone's temper.

"No! I'm not fucking okay!"

"I knew that without you yelling at me," Squall replied matter-of-factly, walking a few steps behind. "I just wanted to know how you were holding out."

Seifer rounded on him, face livid. "I just got my death sentence handed to me by a midget in a clown suit! How do you _think_ I'm holding out?!"

Squall crossed his arms before his chest. "Not too well, obviously."

It had been a good call to cut their meeting with Dr Odine short. The more the diminutive scientist had told them, the more intense Seifer's emotions had gotten. When it came to the point where Squall hadn't needed his imagination anymore to envision the anger and resistance in his friend's golden eyes, he had called it a day.

"So now what?" Seifer exclaimed with a dramatic swing of his arms. A few passers-by looked up and stared at him in slight alarm.

Squall took note of this. Not a good sign. If they were drawing unwanted attention already, there was no telling what would happen if Seifer _really_ lost his temper. And from the looks of things, it wouldn't take long before he would.

"There's a car rental down the road."

Not expecting anything as mundane an answer as that, Seifer gawked at him. "What?!"

Squall raised a brow. "I say we take a car, drive into the plains, and talk this through somewhere where the arguing can't be overheard by everyone within a twelve mile radius."

Judging from the sudden change of expression on the blonde's face, Seifer hadn't even realised how public the Esthar walkways were, and how many people were bustling by left and right. When he noticed some of them were already glancing nervously at the two of them, anger quickly made way for something very close to embarrassment.

"Uhm, yeah, okay… I see your point."

* * *

Seifer wasn't entirely sure just why Squall had agreed to let him drive, but he was not going to pass up an opportunity to burn some serious rubber. It had been months since he'd last been behind the wheel of a car, but after five minutes getting used to the peculiar controls of Estharian automobiles – not in the least the lack of a stick shift –, his 'fluent' driving style left quite some of his fellow drivers cursing in his wake.

In the passenger's seat of the blue convertible, Squall looked just a tad uneasy. You couldn't tell from his face, but the way the knuckles of his hand holding the door brace had turned white three miles ago might be considered a telltale indicator.

"Seifer, you know I like to get a move on as much as you do, but could you at least not change lanes as if you're in the middle of an action movie car chase?"

Seifer nodded. "I could."

Which was not to say that he _would_. He was together enough to realise fully well that this fell well within the definition of 'reckless driving', but he just couldn't bring himself to care. He had just been told he was dead save for dying. It wasn't as if he had anything to lo…

A glance to his right made him abandon that thought. He did have something to lose. Looking back at the road ahead, he lifted his right foot enough to slow the car to a more socially acceptable speed.

Another two miles down the road, they came up to a traffic sign with arrows.

"Which exit do we take, anyway?" he asked Squall as the sign passed them. "I can't read any of the directions."

"Lucky for you I know the way, then."

As it turned out, any exit with the large, red, warning-like symbol on the top lead directly out of the city and onto the plains. Apparently, the people living here were not the nature-loving types. Which didn't really come as a surprise when you knew the wildlife here. His sense of guilt growing as they drove deeper inland, Seifer realised that some of the critters in the distance were not exactly indigenous to these parts.

"Legacy of the Lunar Cry, I bet?" he stated solemnly, just to show he was aware of the monsters.

Squall nodded grimly. "We cleaned them out of the city, but it'll be years or longer before the natural balance is restored here."

They continued their way in silence. The atmosphere was tense, they were tense, and the heat wasn't making it any better. So Seifer did the only thing he could think of to let ago: floor it and drive as fast and as far as possible.

About half an hour later, Squall pointed ahead at a rocky outcrop not too far from the road.

"We can stop there."

Seifer slowed down and drove the car off the road to their parking spot. In the corner of his eye he saw Squall handling a few silver GF orbs. All but one dissolved the instant the brunet focused on them.

The car stopped with the crunch of gravel underneath the tires. The engine's cooling system kicked in with a loud whine as soon as he removed the keys from the ignition. He then moved to open the driver's door, but a hand in front of his face stopped him. Or rather, what the hand was holding. He glared at Squall.

"You know I don't junction."

Squall's gaze didn't waver, nor did his hand. "It's Doomtrain. He's got no special preferences, so practically anyone who's strong enough to handle him, can."

"I don't care, Squall. I'm not junctioning!"

"Furthermore," Squall continued undisturbed, "he maxes out your elemental defence and, more importantly, your status defence." He all but pressed the orb in Seifer's face. "This is _not_ a request. We're in Marlboro country here, and I know first hand we won't stand a chance if we run into one and one or both of us gets affected by the status changes they cast."

Seifer stared at the orb as if it was some glob of goo. Then his mouth pulled into a lop-sided grin. "I'll junction if you want me to, but it'll be useless: I've got no spells to junction."

Squall rolled his eyes in exasperation, apparently mostly at himself. "Figures… And you're powers? Can you junction them to a GF?"

With a great deal of reluctance, Seifer had to admit he didn't have a ready answer to that. He picked up Doomtrain's orb and glared at it.

"Worth a try." He grinned maliciously at the hated object. "Shall we see how it likes getting stuffed with Sorceress' powers?"

He focused. The orb vanished. Once the Guardian Force had settled, he junctioned his magic to the creature. For a moment nothing happened, but within seconds there was a terrible, gut-wrenching scream from inside his mind that threatened to tear his head apart.

Seifer clutched his head and instinctively disjunctioned everything at once. He felt Squall's frantic hand on his shoulder, but by then the screaming had silenced as quickly as it had started. Slowly opening his eyes again, the first thing he saw was the orb that had materialised and dropped into his lap.

It was the dark grey colour of lead.

Squall carefully picked up the orb and examined it, shock and concern etched deeply into his face. Intensely blue eyes closed briefly as the brunet tried to junction the Guardian Force. But when he opened his eyes again, the orb was still there.

"It… Doomtrain…" He looked up at Seifer. "I…I think he's dead."

There was a tense moment of silence, but it was immediately shattered by the piecing sound of the car's claxon echoing off the rocks as Seifer rammed his hand forcefully on the steering wheel.

"Fuckfuck Fuck! I just can't do anything right, can I?!"

"Wow, hold on! This isn't your fault!" Squall objected.

Seifer twisted in his seat. "How is this _not_ my fault? I never intended for it to happen, but it still happened. And I did it!"

Squall frowned. "It was an accident, Seif. There's no way you could have known that junctioning your own magic to a GF would do this. Ultimecia junctioned Griever without…"

"That's bullshit, Squall, and you know it! Ultimecia didn't have more than her own powers! And if the ones I've got will kill me, I should've guessed they'd be no easier on anyone else, GF or not!"

The bewildered look on Squall's face alarmed him duly. Was he slipping, like Rinoa? Was it starting already? But the slender fingers reaching out to touch his cheek made him realise it was none of that.

It was just that Squall had never seen him cry.

The realisation startled him as much as it did Squall. Shedding tears, for anything or anyone, was not a luxury he usually allowed himself. But there they were, the tears, one after another running down his face. And he couldn't stop it even if he wanted to. Out here, in the middle of nowhere, with only his Knight who could look into his soul for a companion, there was no reason to pretend any longer.

He was scared. Literally scared to death. His tears were testimony of that, if nothing else.

Squall's expression had changed to one of compassion. Seifer gazed at him, leaning into the lithe fingers tenderly stroking his wet face.

"I'm not going to get out of this one, am I?"

Squall sighed softly. "All I can say is that it isn't over until it's over," he said at length, pulling Seifer closer to him. "For now, at least we've got each other."

And that was enough. Sometimes, when you're lost in the dark with no way out, it's simply enough to know you are with the one you love. And there really was no one he could possible love more than the man holding him now; the one he trusted with his life, and beyond.

"Squall?"

"Hmm?"

Seifer pushed himself up a bit, so that he could see into Squall's eyes. "When I go rogue..."

"I won't let you fall!"

He shook his head. "It could be days, weeks, or months, but eventually it will happen. We'll fight it, but I doubt either of us can prevent it. The only thing I want to know is… When it begins, will you kill me?"

The look on Squall's face was heart wrenching. "Seifer…?"

"Listen to me, a Knight protects his Sorceress, right? …even if it means protecting her from herself?"

Squall closed his eyes as if to shield himself from what they instinctively knew to be the truth.

It is a common belief that the apex of a Knight's loyalty is to lay down his life for his Sorceress. This is a misconception. A truly loyal Knight will rather kill his Sorceress when she ceases to be a human than see her become a monstrosity enslaved by her own powers. Such is the gruesome reality of Knighthood: always knowing that one day you might have to kill the one you love above everything else.

But every true Knight also knows that to deny this possibility is to deny Knighthood itself.

Moments ticked away in silence before Squall opened his eyes with renewed determination.

"If I'm left no other choice; then and only then…" He nodded to his own resolution. "Yes, I will kill you."

Seifer smiled in relief and gladly accepted when Squall leaned towards him and sealed the promise with a deep, heartfelt kiss.

* * *

Time seemed to stand still. No fear, no pain, no worries for the future. Only the warmth of Seifer's mouth and the rough tenderness of their kiss. Only the here and now. Only each other. It was all he'd ever need, ever again.

But the magic of the moment ended abruptly when Seifer pulled him painfully to his chest, leaving him barely room to breathe, let alone move. He tried to struggle, but what the blonde's deep voice whispered in his ear was reason enough to hold still.

"There's a Marlboro, just behind the edge of the rocks. I don't think it's seen us yet."

"Keep it that way," Squall breathed.

Still pressed against Seifer's shoulder, he couldn't see what was happened. The only thing he had to go on was Seifer's quickened heartbeat, hammering against his chest. Every muscle in both their bodies was taught, ready to move as soon as needed. Very happy that he had thought of junctioning himself before, Squall now ran over his status defences. Marlboros were infamous for leaving their prey _very _little time to fight off the first attack, and if the monster's poisonous breath left Seifer confused or beserked…

The attack came without prior warning. The only thing that told Squall the fight had started was when he heard Seifer cursed loudly. He tried to get loose, but the blonde kept him in an iron grip as the air around him instantly pressed down heavily on his whole being.

Forcing himself to keep his eyes open, he saw that the immediately surroundings were now shining bright yellow. The discolouration had the same quality as when the skies had gone purple during their flight in Ragnarok. But back then he hadn't seen what was quite literally right under his nose right now...

Suddenly the air rang with the familiar shriek of a dying animal. Seconds later, Seifer released his grip.

"It's okay. It's dead," the blonde said, his voice light with sarcastic amusement. "I'm afraid I burned dinner, though."

Turning around, Squall had to conclude that fire magic was, and always would be, Seifer's favourite. There was barely enough burned vegetable left to be recognisable as having been one of the most feared monsters on this continent.

"I ignited the gasses it was about it spout. A bit overkill, perhaps," Seifer commented with a somewhat unusual shrug.

Squall stared at his Sorcerer, taking in the sight before him in silent awe. He knew he _should_ have expected this at some point, of course. Rinoa had had them, too. But it was still as curious as it was beautiful.

When no vocal reply to his remark came, Seifer shot him a questioning look. Squall merely answered by pointing at the blonde's shoulders.

Seifer looked behind him, and started for a moment at seeing two huge, perfectly white angel wings protruding from his back. Then he began to laugh wildly.

"Ha, whaddaya know? I always thought that if anything I'd be sprouting batwings!"

But Squall wasn't suddenly not amused anymore.

"You're high, aren't you?"

"Excuses me?" Seifer grinned, still trying to feel if his new wings were real.

"High. Drunk. On magic. What you did just now wasn't long enough to drain you, but intense enough to keep you hanging on."

He expected Seifer to fervently deny his unusual state of mind, but apparently their conversation with Dr Odine was recent enough to sober the blonde instantly. The mad grin disappeared off his face, and the energy field dropped nearly instantly, causing both the yellowish glow and the wings to vanish immediately.

"It's already beginning, isn't it?" Seifer concluded guiltily.

Squall tried to think of anything he could say that wouldn't just make things worse. He had killed plenty people in his time and death wasn't a stranger to him, but in combat death tended to be quick or at least rather unexpected. But it was as if Seifer was cursed with a Doom spell with an invisible counter.

"I'm not sure if it's starting already," he answered truthfully. "But I do believe that the more you use your powers, the faster it'll go."

Seifer looked pained. "I know… But I've got a feeling that _not_ using them will have the same effect."

Squall frowned. "How so?"

"Too much power locked away, stagnating in frustration. Sounds familiar?"

"It does…" Here came that sinking feeling again. "Adel in her cryo-seal. Rinoa, too, in a way, locked in Garden…"

For a long time, neither of them spoke, taking comfort simply from each other's presence. Squall stared at the ground, lost in thoughts. There had to be a way out, he knew. There _had_ to be. He refused to believe that this was really going to be this inevitable tragedy that the world had painted for them. But the how and the what eluded him. For the moment, he told himself. Only for the moment…

He looked up when Seifer straightened himself in his seat and put the keys in the ignition.

"I think we should be heading back to the Palace," the blonde said by way of explanation. "It's getting late, and considering our coleslaw here will have friends and family running around, I think it's best to be back in the city before dark."

Squall looked up at the sky. The sun wouldn't set for another three hours, but he was pretty sure that Seifer was well aware of that. So he just nodded and strapped himself in his seat belt.

The ride back to the city was uneventful due to Seifer's keen eyesight spotting multi-legged trouble from a safe distance. Upon their arrival back at the car rental, the garage owner began bitching about the sand and the dirt, and the damaged paint on the passenger door. Squall thought it better if the man didn't know a stray Marlboro tentacle was responsible for that and simply paid for the damage. It's funny, he thought, how money can stop people asking the important questions.

It was indeed getting dusky by the time they walked into the government quarter of the city. The tall buildings cast long shadows in the evening sun, making it look darker than it really was. Or maybe it was just his mood making it appear that way.

Seifer had said very little all the way. Ever since starting the drive back to the city, his face had been set in a grim expression that left no room for idle conversation. It wasn't until they were walking the last stretch back to the Palace that he said:

"Y'know? I'm not entirely sure if what Odine said was all true. Sure, he's an expert, but still…"

"All things considered, you're more of an expert than he'll ever be," Squall shrugged lightly, finally able to offer the point of view he'd been toying with all afternoon. It earned him a faint smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," the blonde conceded. "Studying powers like mine is one thing; having them is another entirely. And you don't know the possibilities until you try them."

That sounded a whole lot more positive than before. "So, what do you think?"

"What I think?" Seifer's smile grew to full-sized smirk now. "Ha! That I'm not going down without a fight!"

Squall smiled and patted him on the shoulder once.

"That's the Seifer I know!"

* * *

Feeling more hopeful than when they had set out, they returned to the Palace. As they went on the roller coaster ride that was the entrance, Squall was debating taking a bath before dinner was served and regretting very much that prudence dictated he couldn't share the tub with Seifer. If anything, he wanted to cherish his lover for as long as they had left.

But that line of thought was rudely interrupted when he saw Laguna waiting on the other end of the ride, wearing a worried frown that looked very out of place on the older man's usually cheerful features.

"Mr President?" Squall ventured carefully in case there were more people around than he could see now.

Laguna looked distinctly unhappy as he scrutinised his son and companion.

"Not here," he said urgently, pointing at a nearby door. "In there, both of you."

Knowing when not to argue, Squall pulled Seifer aside and through the allotted door. It admitted them to a tiny room that showed signs of regular use by guards coming on or coming off their shift. Right now, however, it was empty. Laguna ushered them further into the room and then locked the door behind them.

"What's the meaning of this?" Seifer inquired irritably.

Laguna eyed them both, but his gaze ultimately rested with Squall.

"You've put me in a very difficult situation, Squall. I've been as helpful as I could without invading your privacy, but right now, I need to be open with me. You, too, Mr Almasy."

Squall shook his head in confusion. "Open how?"

The President of Esthar took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"I've seen Adel. I've seen Rinoa…" He locked eyes with Squall. "I can _tell_ the signs, you know. From the moment you came in and told me of your problem, I've known that Rinoa is not the problem anymore." He glanced at Seifer for a moment. "You're doing this for him."

Seifer nearly choked on his own breath, and coughed violently before recomposing himself. Squall, for his part, felt - and no doubt looked – like a caged animal. He opened his mouth to try and formulate a proper explanation, but Laguna gestured him to keep silent.

"As a father, the how and why isn't important to me," the long-haired man continued. "But as President of Esthar, as of 2.49 this afternoon, I've got a serious problem."

Squall felt the ground open up beneath him. "Garden contacted you," he ventured numbly.

"Not exactly," Laguna sighed. "You see, I'm not the only one who has known their share of Sorceresses. After your arrival, Kiros tried to contact Balamb Garden to verify Rinoa's condition. When we couldn't make contact, he feared the worst and send a reconnaissance ship to investigate."

Seifer chuckled softly. "Let me guess: there they told you what _you_ already knew. And then some."

Laguna nodded gravely as he looked Seifer opened in the eyes. "And then _quite_ some."

"Seifer's _not _Adel!" Squall exclaimed as he stepped up to his father. "He's not a threat to this country, or any other! If you so much as lift a finger against him, I'll hate you for the rest of my life!" It was below the belt, he knew, but it was the only threat he knew that Laguna would take seriously. Which wasn't to say he didn't mean it. He did. Every word of it.

And his father recognised it as such.

Laguna smiled kindly at his son. "You're his Knight, aren't you?"

The honest, open question threw Squall off-balance. If you could even call it a question. His very reaction was confirmation enough.

The President nodded. "It's okay, Squall. I've seen enough in my life not to make too many moral judgements anymore. Besides, I know that sometimes, things just happen. I mean, they made _me_ President of a country when I wasn't paying attention for a moment. So, yes, things happen. And I'm sure there was a perfectly good reason for Rinoa to die."

"She tried to kill Squall. Killing her first was the only available option," Seifer bit in reply.

Laguna looked at the blonde, and at length cracked a smile. "And for that I thank you." He scratched his neck, obviously relieved. But when he looked up again, his face was as solemn as before. "Unfortunately, my personal feelings are no longer of much consequence."

"Esthar has to act now there is a new Sorcerer, is that it?"

"Yes and no." Laguna looked uneasy. "We don't _have_ to act against you per se. But we do have to extradite you to your own jurisdiction."

"You're taking us to Garden?" Seifer demanded, considerably alarmed.

Laguna sighed again. "No, not quite. Erm, considering the state of Garden, the Headmistress has requested that the trial will be held on Esthar ground. As well as the execution of the verdict."

"And?"

"And… I'm afraid I am politically obliged to comply. Kiros already took the matter out of my hands and arranged everything, just to make sure I couldn't stall the procedures for, eh, personalreasons."

Seifer's eyes grew even wider. "You mean to say the Garden staff officers are coming _here_?"

"No." Squall heard himself say it, his stomach tight with dread. "They are already here, aren't they?" He saw his father's earnestly apologetic look and decided he didn't want to hear the answer he already knew.

"I'm sorry, Squall," Laguna started. Then a dull thud cut him off.

Squall stared in disbelief as his father's limp body sagged to the floor and, like a falling curtain, revealed Seifer carefully sheathing Hyperion again.

* * *

And now… let all Hell break lose! (Trust me, it will)

R&R please!


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, people! I was a bit surprised to get so many remarks along the line of 'Laguna isn't dead, is he?' To be honest, it never even crossed my mind…

* * *

Squall sat kneeling beside his father's still body, searching for a pulse. He let out a sigh of relief when he found it, strong and steady. Then he turned to look up.

"What the Hell were you thinking?!"

Seifer all but snarled at him. "Right now my only concern is getting out of here," he barked as he examined the papers on the nearby table. "The next shift'll come on in five minutes. That gives us less than three to get away unseen."

"You could've killed him, you know?!"

"Yep. But I didn't. Tap on the head was just hard enough to put him to sleep."

"Put him to…." Squall rose to his feet. "You just assaulted the president of a country, Seifer! _Again!_"

Seifer forcefully grabbed his arm. "What I did is knock out the person who was going to lead us like lambs to the slaughter! And I'm not letting that happen. _Again!_" He used his grip to haul Squall to his feet. "Now get moving, or your Dad'll suffer the mother of all headaches for nothing!"

Squall blinked. The rough treatment was enough of a wake-up call to make him look at their situation in a professional manner, but it surprised him it was even necessary. He'd never let emotions get the better of him before. What had changed?

Everything, that's what.

He glanced one last time at Laguna's unconscious form, but then answered Seifer's frantic pulling and followed the blonde out the door. From there, the surroundings sank back in a haze. He didn't see the hallway as they turned and ran for the exit; he hardly noticed the movement as the 'roller coaster ride' brought them back outside. If Seifer spoke to him, he didn't hear it. The only thing he was aware of was the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. Everything else was far away, muted by the adrenaline rush.

Or was it? He'd faced many different threats in his life, all calling the familiar surge of adrenaline to his veins. But this was different, somehow. Deeper, further down. Like something inside was trying to get his attention and blocked everything else to get the message across.

He knew for sure when the fog lifted halfway through a mad dash down Esthar's walkways. Up ahead, the massive shapes of two large Ragnarok ships loomed over the top of the air station. Putting one and one together, he skidded to a halt, dragging Seifer along with him.

"What?!" Seifer demanded incredulously. "What the Hell are you stopping for?"

But Squall just pointed at the ships. "One is ours. The other one brought Xu and the others here. Kiros'll probably have expected that we'd try to get back to our ship. The air station will be crawling with soldiers by now."

Seifer cocked his head, a vicious smirk playing on his lips. "So?"

"Get a grip, will you?" Squall hissed. "You want to prove them right? You want to show them the consequence of hunting down a Sorcerer? Then by all means, go ahead and kill the lot of them!"

The fire in Seifer's eyes flare briefly but then died down to a mere flicker. "You got a better idea then?" he whispered dangerously.

Squall thought for a moment, trying to catch a peek of the situation at the air station's entrance. It seemed quiet enough. "O-kay, how about this: we walk to the station, as inconspicuously as possible. We try to get to the ship as if it's the most normal thing in the world. And if someone does sound the alarm, we make a break for it without making casualties."

But Seifer looked less than thrilled.

"Wake up and smell the coffee, Puberty Boy," he said with deliberate harshness. "They'll have found the President by now. And when they check the security cameras, which I'm sure there are somewhere in that room, they'll see what happened to him. One call to the guards here will blow 'inconspicuous' to Kingdom Come, and I'm pretty sure that call's already been made."

"And what if it isn't?"

Seifer suddenly brought his face close to Squall's. "If you want to, we'll risk the slow approach. Just promise me one thing."

Squall nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Stay behind me. And if we're caught, pretend you're chasing me. No sense in both of us going down."

If caught, play a game. Buy time, get out later. Made sense enough for now. "Deal."

The entranceway to the air station was still pretty quiet when they started their casual approach. No more guards than usual, no alarming sounds, no extra checks on the few people going in or coming out. It was hard to tell what the situation was beyond the doors, but the way things were looking now, sneaking by in plain sight might just…

They were about halfway down the entranceway when a flurry of colours came rushing towards him, hit him full in the chest and by sheer momentum pushed him over the edge of the walkway. He didn't have time enough to react before there was the sick sensation of falling, and then someone yelling.

"Float!"

It hadn't been his voice. Still Squall felt himself slow as the ground came closer. But the attacker clinging on to him was obviously not under any spell, and the extra mass weighed him down enough to bounce through the float spell and hit the floor hard enough to bruise. It could be worse, he realised even before he was fully conscious again. He _could _have broken every bone in his body.

Immediately after impact, the float spell lifted him again, causing the attacker to slide to the ground. After half a second of readjusting his bearing, Squall noticed that when not in motion, his attacker looked surprisingly familiar.

"_Irvine?!_ What in blazes are you doing here?"

"Saving your ass, it would seem," the cowboy replied nonchalantly as he adjusted his hat. Then he stretched to glance behind Squall. "Ah, looks like we're all here."

Looking over his shoulder, Squall noticed that Seifer had come down as well, along with someone else. But their descent seemed to have been a bit more controlled, although the residual glow around Seifer's body probably had something to do with that. It also reminded him to cast a Dispel on himself before trying to walk. He was just getting his footing back when a hand grasped his shoulder.

"You okay?"

He glanced up at Seifer's concerned eyes. "Yeah. Bit bruised, but nothing…" He was cut off by shouting coming from high above their heads. Several Esthar guards were peering over the edge of the walkway and pointing down with their weapons.

"Oops, time to go!" Irvine announced as the first bullets came whistling down.

* * *

For every gilded city quarter with high rises and astonishing architecture, there are several gloomier neighbourhoods where life isn't quite as rich and splendid. Every city has these sordid corners. Esthar City wasn't an exception.

Seifer had always had a soft spot for ghettos. Not because he liked that kind of life so much, but because of the effect it had on people: law enforcement officers and the like tended to avoid places like this as much as possible, and the others creeps roaming these streets spoke a language that was practically his native tongue, namely violence. In short, it was a perfect hiding place.

By mutual consent, they chose a greasy looking bar called 'Marlboro Brew' as their temporary hide-out. Inside, the bar was exactly what you'd expect of it. The room was hazy with smoke that smelled like ten years of cigarettes and no ventilation; the dirty windows let in little light and the few weak bulbs hanging from the ceiling weren't much help; and there was the obligatory pool table in the back, but that, too, looked like it had seen better days. And the customers weren't in any better shape either.

"So much for the splendour of Esthar," Irvine muttered.

"In every city the shit sinks to the bottom," Seifer replied. "And I'm guessing we're at ground level here."

The barman was a big, fat man in a ditto shirt and apron, and holding an even grubbier towel. Seifer eyed him. The barman eyed back.

"Whaddaya want?" he barked.

Seifer smirked. "Four glasses of your finest. And I do mean _finest_."

"Ye're not from 'round here," the man said suspiciously.

Oh yes, there was a little game to be played here. _His_ kind of game. Seifer expertly fished Squall's wallet from the brunet's back pocket and flashed the contents at the barman, taking care to include a good view of the SeeD ID card inside.

"We may be foreigners," he added, "but that don't mean we can't tell piss from a proper drink. So, if you please…"

Grudgingly the barman assembled four reasonably clean glasses and filled them with a brownish liquid from a bottle labelled with a well-known whiskey brand. It wasn't the best brand, and it was no guarantee that the liquid was what the label said it was, but it was nevertheless a good start.

When the glasses were set on the bar, Seifer smelled and tasted the drink first. Satisfied, he paid the barman in full and took the glasses to a nearby table where the others were just getting settled.

"Not exactly subtle, Squall commented as he took his wallet back.

Seifer sat down next to him. "Subtle don't cut it down here, Squall." Then he turned to Fuujin, coming straight to the point. "Couldn't you at least have left a note or something? You really had me worrying, you know."

The steel-faced girl actually blushed. "SORRY."

"Screw sorry, Fuu. We both know you've done more than enough for me, and that I'll never stop you if you really want to go. But the least you could've done was tell me yourself!"

"Sorry," she said again, quieter this time. "Angry, jealous, disappointed…"

"Yeah, I had a feeling that might have had something to do with it." He sounded bitter, even to himself. He had always regarded Fuujin and Raijin as his friends. Learning that she had been harbouring secret feelings for him for a long time was a bit of a blow, to say the least.

"I was overwhelmed," she admitted, unusually timid. "I wanted to hurt you by leaving without a word. It… it was a stupid thing to do."

"But very female," Irvine remarked between sips. "Never would've sought that behind you." Three sets of icy stares cornered him. "What? It's true, ain't it?"

Squall leaned forward. "What about you? How'd you get here?" he asked the cowboy, not unkindly.

"Long story," the sharpshooter said. "The short version is that after you guys blasted your way out of Garden, the electrical grid gave out."

Squall shot Seifer a look that was answered with a smug grin.

"In the darkness and the confusion, Selphie actually came to untie me and pour some healing potions down my throat, saying she was sorry for hurting me but that Xu had made her do it."

"Nice when your girlfriend's loyalties lie elsewhere," Seifer muttered. Then he saw the hurt look on Squall's face. "Right. Sorry."

"You've got a point, though. I mean, I'm into new things, and trying out some bondage or SM with her were somewhere on my list of things to do before you die, but this was definitely _not_ what I had in mind. So I broke up with her. 'S not easy. I really love the girl, but _torturing_ me? I mean, if Xu wanted me forced into confession so badly, she could've done it herself, right? She _should _have done it herself!"

Squall nodded, his face deadly serious. "We owe you a lot for putting up with all that and not telling."

Irvine shrugged and grinned. "Hey, I know what SeeD does to Sorceresses, _and _their Knights. No way I'm ratting friends out."

"Much obliged," Seifer said, raising his glass to the cowboy in salute. "But that still doesn't explain how you got here."

"I slept like an ox after most of excitement had become less panicky. When I woke, I noticed the lights had come on again, plus there were guys in pastels running around the place. When I went to check where they'd come from, there was a Ragnarok in the hangar bay. I knew you'd have been crazy to come back, so that meant Xu'd called Esthar for help. Seeing as they were taking her and Quistis and some other staff members on board, I figured that tagging along would eventually bring me to where you guys were. So, knowing you could use all the help you could get, I hid on board and hitched a ride over here."

"That was a bloody dangerous thing to do, Kinneas!" Seifer exclaimed. "Didn't I tell you curiosity _killed _the cat?"

"Yup. But satisfaction brought it back!"

Seifer gave him a deadpan look. "Satis…faction?"

Irvine grinned sheepishly. "Well, not at the moment, but you can bet I'll feel _very_ satisfied when I give Xu and her lot a piece of my mind!"

Squall quickly cut the juvenile conversation short with a more pertinent question o his own: "Did anyone see you?"

Irvine shook his head. "No one who knew I shouldn't be on board. Some Esthar guys at the air station maybe, but they didn't look twice. They probably thought I belonged with the SeeD delegation. After I got out, I hid near the station in case they'd leave the same way they came in. And that's where I ran into Fuujin."

"Let me guess," Seifer smirked. "He had hitched a ride in, and you were waiting to hitch a ride out."

She nodded, looking slightly embarrassed. "Something like that."

"I convinced her to stay and help me find you guys," Irvine continued. "Even the odds a bit."

Seifer felt his heart sank through his feet. These three people were willing to put their lives on the line for his sake, regardless of the past - which seemed to haunt him more than them - and regardless of what he had become. But the really heart-wrenching part of it was that there was absolutely nothing they could do to prevent this situation from getting completely out of hand.

And when that happened, the only kind of help that could accomplish anything was a bullet to his brain.

* * *

"So, what do we do now?"

Fuujin's question marked the gravity of their situation.

"Summarising our position," Squall began, slowly as if still thinking, "we are in essence fugitives. Seifer for what he is, me for aiding him and betraying Garden, and you two for covering for the both of us. I'm sure the lawyers will use more technical terms, but there it is." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Our assets, such as there are, are the fact that we are all trained SeeDs. Seifer and myself are armed…"

"So are we," Irvine said as he nodded at Fuujin as well.

"Good. Are you also junctioned?"

Irvine nodded, but Fuujin shook her head. Without another word, Irvine disjunctioned one of his Guardian Forces and offered it to her. "I've still got Leviathan," he said when she wouldn't take it, "And Pandemona was yours to begin with."

Fuujin's face brightened as she clasped her hands around the silver orb, which instantly dissolved when she junctioned her long-lost Guardian Force. She smiled at him. "THANKS." Her face only lightened further when Squall and Irvine quickly exchanged some spells with her to beef her strengths and defences, and Seifer handed her his collection of potions.

"Now we're all set up for combat, I suggest we exit this city the only other fast way there is: by car." He stared at the glasses on the table. Only his was mostly full. "I'll drive."

This met with general approval, but as Squall moved to get up, a firm grip on his arm stopped him.

"One more thing," Seifer said as he motioned Squall to stay seated for a moment. Then the blonde turned to the other side of the table.

"If it comes to a fight, nobody will hold it against any of you if you turn against me at some point. Least of all me. It'll get ugly, and nobody will blame you for valuing your own life over anyone else's. Understood?"

After a second of hesitation, there was a chorus of nods.

"Good. Then let's get the hell out of here."

That was easier said than done. Once outside the bar, they noticed the sun had set completely by now, and the only light to navigate by were snakes of light that ran along the murky streets. Streets, Squall noticed, not walkways. This really _was_ Esthar's ground level. And that meant he had no idea where they were. The fact that everything looks different in the dark didn't make it any easier either.

Much to his surprise, however, the navigational problem was sorted instantly when Fuujin took the lead. She did so with quite some determination, and that wasn't unjustified. She led them almost flawlessly through the tiny streets of Esthar's cheap side and brought them to an elevator that took them to the next level. Apparently, so she explained as they ran from level to level, she'd found a plan of the city after she ran from the Palace, and learned it by heart. It wasn't an exaggeration. Within minutes, they had arrived at the elevator to the familiar blue walkways of Esthar's top district.

Due to the limited capacity of the elevators, Squall and Fuujin came up first. The walkways were considerably emptier than they had been that afternoon. There were a few civilians, but most of the moving figures looked like indistinct lighter patched against the dark of the sky. Very alert patches, too. Soldiers, no doubt. Squall motioned Fuujin to stay on the elevator, keeping it from moving down to pick up the other two before the coast was clear.

"Looks like they've got the army covering the city," he whispered. "We'll need to move quickly."

A definite drawback was the fact that the open, straight-lined walkways didn't provide any cover whatsoever. And if he got his bearings right, it was quite a long way to the car rental.

"DOWN." Fuujin managed to whisper the exclamation. "MOVE UNDERNEATH."

"Sounds like a plan," he conceded and hopped onto the elevator again. The contraption sank to the second level, where a seriously impatient Seifer was waiting.

"What's up?"

"Soldiers. Lots of them and no cover to move. Fuujin's taking us to the elevator nearest the car rental. There's not too much cover here, but a lot more than out there in the open."

Fuujin looked left and right, and then started down the dark green walkway heading East. Staying low was a good idea, Squall admitted to himself as they ran after her. There were a lot more people up and about here, and a lot more buildings to break a line of sight. A few meters above them, he could see the soldiers moving on the walkways overhead, but apparently their search hadn't gotten through to the lower levels.

Irvine had obviously noticed the same thing. "Not that I'm complaining," he said, panting slightly, "but why aren't there any soldiers down here?"

"NO NEED."

"How's that?" Seifer asked, dodging a few surprised passers-by at full speed.

"NO EXITS."

"Oh fuck… So all they need to do is wait for us to surface and then it's shooting ducks in a barrel?"

"AFFIRMATIVE."

Squall growled. "We're not ducks, we're SeeD. Fuujin, get us as close as you can, and we'll risk it from there."

The route down here was not as straight as overhead, and it took them considerably longer to find the car rental and then find the nearest elevator. When they did, though, the found themselves facing another set-back:

'_OUT OF ORDER'_

"Not the kind of sign you want to see when you're on the run," Irvine chided. "Okay, so where's the next nearest."

Seifer frowned. "Too far away. Wherever it is, we'll never make it from there to the rental office." He looked up. "But I think I have a better idea." Head craned back, he started to head back towards where the garage was. Then, some fifty meters from their goal, he stopped. "Yeah… Yeah, this'll do."

"What're you up to?" Squall inquired warily.

"Something to earn my keep on this breakout. Now listen, the soldiers are bound to notice us, so we've got very little time to get inside. I'd try a more direct way in, but I don't dare to risk any of you losing a limb in the process. So, weapons at the ready and run as soon as you touch the ground."

"Seifer, what are you planning?"

The blonde grinned. "I'm gonna play elevator."

Squall opened his mouth to protest, but before he could form the first syllable, a strand of energy snaked around him and then expanded until it engulfed him completely. It was like getting trapped in a giant bubble of light. In the corner of his eye he saw Irvine and Fuujin in the centre of similar auras, and an even larger corona encircling Seifer's body.

_God, the whole city must be able to see us._

Less than a heartbeat later, he felt himself lifted off the ground and shooting up. The edge of the top walkway moved past him and then under him at less than an arm's length. Another half a second, and he could feel the ground under his feet.

"Run!"

The light vanished as quickly as it had come, and the flashing light of the car rental sign suddenly stood out like a beacon. He made a dash for it, ignoring the shouts in the background that sounded a bit too much like phrases startled soldiers cry when they think they've spotted their target. By the time he reached the door and yanked it open, there was the first of many machine gun rattles. Trusting the Auto-Protect ability had had equipped, he didn't go inside until the others had. Fuujin ran past him, and then Irvine. Another hail of gunfire came their way, but an invisible shield made the bullets drop harmlessly to the ground. Seifer, his right hand raised, gestured him to get inside. Knowing when to do as you're told, Squall obeyed, but readied to pull the door closed behind Seifer, who all but fell in after him.

The turning of the locks as he locked the door was the only sound he heard apart from his blood rushing through his ears. Straightening himself, he turned to the rest of the team. They were winded, but unscathed.

And Seifer had yet again a crazed look in his eyes. Squall ignored it for now, but frowned to himself. It pained him that he could actually _see _the magic stripping Seifer's sanity away bit by bit, but couldn't do anything to stop it from happening.

"What in blazes is going on here?"

That would be the shop owner. Squall turned to face the man.

"We'd like to rent a car."

"You're that guy from this afternoon, aren't you? Damaged my car, so you did!"

"And I paid for the damages," Squall calmly reminded him.

"That you did. But it's still damaged so I can still refuse to rent you one. Besides, we're closed for the day. Come back tomorrow!"

A hail of bullets impacted on the steel door of the shop.

"I'm afraid I can't wait," Squall said, keeping his face straight and pretending not to mind that apparently the whole Esthar army was after them. But he did pull out his wallet and produced his credit card. "If you won't rent me a car, I'll buy one of them," he continued, flashing the card. "But if that isn't sufficient either, I'll just have to commandeer one."

This range of options visibly unnerved the man as much as the second bullet rain making dents in his door. Irvine observed the door closely.

"Some dents are showing pinholes, Squall," the sharpshooter announced. "Next volley I'll tear right through."

"Come out with your hands up!" someone shouted on the outside.

The by now terrified shop owner disappeared behind his counter.

"Commandeer it is then!" Squall yelled as he lunged at the counter and reached for the nearest car key, hoping it would match the prepared car on the launch pad. Pressing the remote control, the car bleeped.

"Okay everyone, get in!"

But that that moment the frightened but no yet paralysed shop owner pushed a button under his desk and the safety door of the launcher rammed down, effectively cutting off any exit a car would fit through.

At that moment, a third volley of bullets hit the shop's entrance. Most still caught in the steel door, but Squall could feel at least two bullets bounce off his Auto-Protect.

"Last warning!" the officer outside bellowed. "Come out with your hands up!"

Two seconds later, everyone was crouched behind the counter. Seifer took the liberty of knocking the shop owner out, and for once Squall didn't feel the slightest inclination to stop him.

"Point one: Everyone okay?" he inquired quickly.

Three nods were enough of an answer.

"Okay, point two: fight or surrender?"

Seifer grinned, eyes still ablaze. "You have to ask?"

"Fuujin? Irvine?"

"Think we stand a chance?" Irvine asked nervously.

Squall shrugged. "As long as Seifer holds out, we do."

"And if he can't?" It earned him Fuujin's elbow in his ribs. "Auch!"

"If I can't," Seifer cut in, face sincere despite the magic, "then you surrender and claim I controlled you."

"But Seifer…"

"Shut up! This is about surviving, not about truth!" He looked at Squall. "And if things play out differently… You know what to do."

Squall nodded gravely, but took the promise he made that afternoon to heart. "I am your Knight, Seifer. For better of for worse."

Seifer grinned. "Don't get all soppy, or these two here will think we got married." But despite the sarcasm, he reached out and pulled Squall close. Souls touched lovingly, but too brief kiss was all they had time for. "I love you, " Seifer whispered as he pressed his forehead against Squall's one more time.

Then they got up to meet their fate head on.

* * *

Countdown to the last stand has begun... R&R please!


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Finally! Last-but-one chapter up at long last. Sorry to keep you guys waiting for so long. Dozens of excuses and none of them a really good one, but here is it: the Grand Finale. Enjoy!

* * *

It would have been a lot more dramatic to come out with blazing guns.

However, seeing how the rental's office building was the only available cover within a considerable radius, they were forced to make a somewhat more subtle approach: kicking the battered door out of its hinges and assessing just how deep their trouble ran.

Pretty deep, from the looks of things. At first glance, Squall estimated about two hundred Esthar soldiers backed by what looked a great deal like an odd dozen SeeD uniforms. None of them fired at the crumbling door, but all weapons were aimed at them.

"Drop your weapons and come out with your hands up!" the Esthar officer barked into a megaphone.

"They never learn, do they?" Seifer sneered into Squall's ear.

The brunet ignored the comment, but did note the overly aggressive tone in his lover's voice. Seifer's short temper was legend, but this didn't sound natural. He tried to assess the risk, but was interrupted by the clicks of dozens of guns locking and loading. Damn! He needed just a little more time. Cupping one hand to his mouth, he yelled back at the officer.

"What happens if we comply?"

Apparently, that reply hadn't occurred to the man. Looking puzzled, the officer turned back and whispered to someone in a dark uniform and stylish brown hair. Squall narrowed his eyes, his mind abandoning contemplation of Seifer's condition in favour of identifying the SeeD now taking charge. When the megaphone changed hands, however, that was cleared up soon enough.

"Commander Leonheart, this is Headmistress Filips. Surrender your weapons and hand over the Sorceress in your company, or we will open fire."

He cupped his hand again. "To what end, Xu? So you can put him in a cryo-seal? I don't think so!"

"You are a SeeD, Squall," she shouted back with a tense voice. "You know what needs to be done."

"Yeah. Yeah, I do!" Then he brought his hand to his forehead.

Shiva's ice attack hit nearly all soldiers and SeeD before them. As soon as the ice had lifted, Irvine emptied half a magazine of Fast Ammo on the crowd, a performance that was immediately answered by a return volley of machine gun fire.

* * *

Seifer sheltered behind the wall as the bullet rain hit, but his mind was miles away, repeating Xu's words with bone-cleaving clarity. This was everything he had been afraid of since Rinoa's death: the promise of ice, locked away for eternity, neither dead nor alive. And possible fully conscious…

But he'd be damned if he would let them do that putting up a good fight!

As soon as the return volley had ceased, he leaped through the door opening and levitated himself onto the roof of the office. Half the weapons outside followed him and opened fire again. But with a simple gesture, all bullets stopped in mid-flight, caught in the force field he had drawn up. The masks of their uniforms could hide the soldiers' faces, but not the obvious horror as he ignited the rounds where they hung, dripping molten metal at the platoons' feet.

The momentary distraction was enough for Fuujin's blade to whiz out the door and strike several soldiers as Squall unleashed a Meteor spell and Irvine shot some well-aimed individual rounds. From his vantage point, Seifer could see the damage those attacks did. Several soldiers fell, dead or wounded, their blood making purple stains on the blue walkway.

It was quite a sight to behold. But not enough. He… no, '_they'_ wanted more.

* * *

Squall ducked for cover when the remaining soldiers returned fire again. Fuujin and Irvine were pressed against the wall on the other side of the doorway as they waited out the onslaught. Peering out, he saw a handful of soldiers making to charge at the office, but they were suddenly repelled as if struck by an invisible, electric shield. And it probably was: he could see residual electricity slithering over their limp bodies as they fell.

Taking advantage of the moment, he turned and shot a Flare to take out the Esthar officer. Retaliation was immediate when a nearby soldier took aim and pulled the trigger.

Squall felt several bullets tear through his body despite the Auto-Protect – armour piercing rounds, no doubt. He instinctively whispered a curative spell on himself, but the green aura that responded from above was both too fast and too strong to be mere para-magic. Flesh, tissue and bone healed so quickly the wounds had barely had time to bleed. He silently thanked Seifer as he rose.

When he looked up again to recommence battle, he saw how a magic force ripped the young soldier from where he stood and tossed him over the edge of the walkway. In the corner of his eye, he could make out another assailant charging at him, but before he could assume a defensive stance, that man, too, was flung to the depths of Esthar City. More attacked, but they were all caught in mid-run, their bodies imploding with a sickening noise as if crushed by an invisible hand.

* * *

On the roof, Seifer opened his hand and watched the shattered remains of the soldiers drop to the ground. Somewhere deep down he realised that he should not feel such satisfaction as the destruction he caused, but another, much stronger voice cried out inside that this was what he was born to do; what he was trained to do. What he was _meant _to do. A killing machine, protecting the one person he loved, and obliterating everyone else.

_Deny it if you will, but this is what you have always longed to do,_ it said with the a-cappella voices of Sorceresses through the ages.

They were right! This was so exhilarating: no rules, no morals, no holds barred. Just himself and what he did best. And the magic… The magic that fuelled his passion and poured it out of him, uncontrollable. It was tugging at him, forcing him to be more than he ever was, pushing him beyond limits he never even knew existed.

And it was killing him.

* * *

Squall continued the dance of attack and defence. More soldiers had come to join their struggling comrades, filling up the gaps that the fallen ones had left. Beside him, Fuujin and Irvine combined their attacks in a pas-de-deux that was so perfectly timed it seemed they'd been fighting alongside one another for years. And it was proving to be very effective.

During yet another volley of enemy fire, Squall took a moment to remove his coat. At almost the same time, Irvine, too shrugged out his coat, revealing the sheen of sweat on his arms and neck. It was getting hot in here. He could feel the chill of the night air brush his skin, but that did nothing to cool him off. Then it struck him that this most likely had nothing to do with exercise-generated body heat.

There was little time to consider the implications, though. On the far side of the walkway and to their right, he could tell that the SeeD, who had been hanging back until now, were getting ready to attack. He saw the fractured flashes of light reflecting off a chain whip, and there were the familiar movements of a martial artist. His heart sank. So it had finally come to this: his closest friends had truly become his enemies now.

He had little time to grieve before something else drew his attention: the atmosphere. The air was gently vibrating with energy now, and there was no doubt where that came from, or why it happened. No wonder the top-ranking SeeD were breaking out their weapons…

He summoned Shiva once more, to buy himself some time to concentrate. But even in the relative silence of hanging between dimensions as the Guardian Force took his place in battle, he could feel the force of magic beating down on him.

Back in the real world, the sounds of battle filled his ears. Shiva had done significant damage to the majority of the opposing forces, but had missed the SeeD. Three of them, lead by Zell, came charging forward. Squall watched with nauseating fascination how the two junior SeeD were elevated and ripped to shreds. To the martial artist's merit, Zell didn't stop to gawk, but immediately summoned Quetzalcoatl. The green thunderbird responded instantly and attacked Seifer, but its energy was met by an equally strong beam. The assault backfired and the Guardian Force faded away, returning her host to this world. Squall held his breath as Zell was picked up. But instead of being crushed, the young blonde was merely tossed aside, landing some two hundred yards down the walkway with a bone-breaking smack.

The only upside to that carnage was that Seifer obviously still recognised the people across of him, and had at least _some _regard for the ones he knew. But he also realised with dreadful certainty that it wouldn't belong before Seifer would lose that last bit of self-control as well.

* * *

Everything hurt. His body felt like it was about to explode. The magic screamed through his mind, urging him, enticing him, _forcing_ him to do what it wanted. There was so much energy, so much power, and it was everywhere. The last fully conscious moment he had had was the dreadful certainty that there was no way he could ever contain it.

Now only half-aware of himself, he tried to fight off the intangible attacks, desperate to hold on to the last remainders of his own identity that were still there. The overpowering sensation felt sickening familiar, and equally hopeless. And inside, the surges were tearing his soul to shreds.

It wanted out. And one way or another, it would get its way…

* * *

Down below, the fighting slowed to a halt. By and by, soldiers and SeeD turned to see what was happening, and immediately lost interest in their direct opponent. All heads in the field were turned to something above them, a bright yellow light casting sharp contrasts on their faces.

Squall, Fuujin and Irvine poured out from the door opening, each of them desperate to know what was going on overhead despite the danger to themselves. A real danger, Squall knew in his heart. He had tried to find Seifer long the bond that had been forged between them, but had found only a searing inferno. So now all he could do was watch and wait with dread in his stomach. Looking up, he shielded his eyes from the intense light. When that had dissipated enough for him to see Seifer's body clearly, his heart skipped a beat.

Three pairs of wings ripped from his Sorcerer's back, one by one unfolding in the radiant aura they emitted as they elevated his body some six feet up. Then Seifer raised his head again. His eyes were a blaze of golden fire and lighting crackled down his limbs. He looked nothing like the Sorceresses any of them had known, but the extend of his power was something they all knew instinctively.

It was terrifying.

For a long, drawn out moment, time stood still. Squall lowered his hand as he stared up at Seifer. The magic trailed rainbow-coloured shimmers through the air, and the six large wings formed an impressive frame around Seifer's body. Then they made eye contact. Squall instantly understood the incessant pulling in his heart and mind, and the ominous feeling growing inside of him. He knew what this was. This was the magic of three Sorceresses merged into one.

And in that timeless instant, he and Seifer shared the understanding that this was the edge of the blade, a balance that would not last for long. And when it was lost, so was everything else.

* * *

It felt as if, for a brief moment, he was at the eye of the hurricane. From the silent heart of the vortex, Seifer could sense his Knight and lover. He tried to reach out, but at that instant the eye collapsed. The enormous amount of energy continued to build up, but when it finally reached its crescendo, Seifer was no longer able to contain it. What little his eyes saw of the world was blood red now. He screamed as his last defences shattered in the incredible force thundering through him. Light exploded from inside of him, leaving him shrieking with a voice that was barely human anymore.

* * *

Feeling a cry in his soul that was louder than the one hammering his eardrums, Squall cried his lover's name in reply as he watched in horror as his nightmare began to unfold before him.

The blonde Sorcerer was visibly faltering. The shimmering colours were oscillating nauseously and the bright light dimmed. The majestic wings unravelled rapidly, causing Seifer to fall back on the roof of the building. The instability of the magical field became very oppressive, like a nuclear reactor blowing off the excess energy building up inside its core.

The air was deafeningly heavy. Around him, Squall saw friend and foe sink to their knees under the pressure of it. He felt it, too, but he forced himself to keep standing, and to keep searching for an answer, any answer.

Seifer was on his knees now, his wings torn to shreds. Every muscle in his face, in his body, was taught, and there was blood leaking from his eyes.

_Squall!! _

He heard it. He heard the cry, but it was all he could do to hold his ground under the physical and mental pressure released on him. He tried to reach out, but found a barrier inside that kept him from answering Seifer's desperate plea.

_God, Squall, help me!!_

He tried with all his might to reach Seifer's tormented mind, but he could tell he couldn't make it. Magic whipped around him like a storm gale, breaking his concentration, and the physical forces constantly got in between them.

The physical forces…

The physical…

_SQUALL!! PLEASE, DO SOMETHING!!_

His mind suddenly bright with understanding beyond comprehension, Squall forced himself through all barriers and reached into Seifer's soul, his full intention focused on only one thing:

_Junction me!_

For a fraction of a second, there was no reaction.

Then there was nothing but white.

* * *

The fiery vortex filled up the whole universe, tearing everything apart with an all-consuming, ceaseless hunger. But just before everything was sucked into its core, a voice as clear as spring water washed into his mind.

_"Junction me!"_

There wasn't enough of his rational consciousness left to realise just how impossible that command was, or how insane its implication. Sorceress' instinct took over instead, and made him reach out through the pain for the cool promise of those words.

And that was all it took.

* * *

Energy ran into his being. He tried to look up, but all he saw was something resembling a wormhole, which was a pleasant bright blue nearby and a fiercely blazing red on the other end. Instinctively he knew what it was and what was going to happen. In his mind, his Guardian Forces resisted violently, finally ripping themselves from their bond to him and dropping away. His body was becoming less and less real in what could be eons or seconds. But he didn't care. All he wanted was to reach Seifer, to sooth the pain and to protect him. In his heart, in every aspect of his soul, he was Seifer's Knight. And that was all that mattered.

* * *

Crystal blue waves drove back the red-hot madness in his mind and his body. The storm inside instantly folded in on itself with a thundering roar and then subsided, leaving the metaphysical equivalent of a calm sea and sunny weather. He felt naked and alone for a moment, but then another presence wrapped around his own.

_"Don't worry. I'll protect you."_

The calming sound and the underlying emotions were as overwhelming as the rampaging magic had been, but the effect was the exact opposite in every respect. It gave control, temperance, and everything else the raw magic had lacked.

Balance. For the first time since he had received these powers, there was balance.

His mind instantly created an image for him to understand what was going on, and he saw himself standing in the surf of a pearly white beach. Cool, clear seawater sloshed around his ankles and a gentle sun caressed his skin.

"Better now?" a voice asked him.

Seifer turned and found Squall sitting on a nearby rock, gazing intently at him. He nodded. "Much." He stared out over the ocean for a while. Then, without looking back, he said: "I never thought you'd go this far, even for me."

He could feel the gentle touch of Squall's hands on his shoulders. "Only for you, Seifer. _Only_ for you."

The next instant, Seifer found himself back in his body. It felt different than before, but not in a twisted sense. It was still his body, that much was clear, but only now he realised how utterly _alone_ he had always felt. Until now. Now everything made sense. So this time when he opened his eyes to gaze on his opponents, desperate anxiety had made way for confident determination.

The first thing he noticed was that time seemed to have come to a standstill. The soldiers stood frozen and he could see, even from across the crowd, how Xu and Quistis were holding their breaths in anticipation. No one moved.

Letting his gaze glide over the scene, his eyes fell on the scene just below him. Peering down, he saw Fuujin and Irvine huddled together against the tattered office wall. They both stared up at him, wide-eyed. Their expression was one of horror, much like those of everyone else present. Whatever his little episode had looked like, it had to have been impressive.

True to himself, he grinned at the thought.

Knowing he shouldn't let his guard down, he momentarily returned his attention the small army opposing him. The tension of the moment was wearing off, and one or two soldiers found the courage to slowly raise their guns. Seifer made an idle movement with his hand, and then ignored them. Whoever would try to fire now would find his firing mechanism jammed.

But it wouldn't be long before the SeeD would start making trouble. He had successfully fought off them and their Guardian Forces before, even without his current powers, but he hadn't forgotten that fighting and killing Sorceresses was what SeeD were trained to do. If he didn't want to be hunted for the rest of his life, he had to think of a diplomatic way out of this stalemate.

"I could really use your input, Squall", he whispered to his friend as much as to himself.

The reply, however, was not what he expected. His attention was brought to something he hadn't spotted before: a motionless figure lying on the ground, several feet from where Fuujin and Irvine sat. His instinct catching on to what his eyes saw long before his mind did, Seifer felt his stomach plummet when he recognised it.

'_I'm here, Seifer, I'm with you.' _

The honest and sincere reassurance in his mind clashed heavily with what his body registered. This was the nightmare that had haunted him for years. He had very nearly given his life to keep this from happening, but now it was staring him in the face. Literally.

Because from below him, Squall's ashen-faced body stared up at him with unseeing, lifeless eyes.

'_That's not me, you hear me,' _Squall's insistent voice resonated in his soul. _'__That thing is _not _me.'_

Seifer nodded imperceptibly, knowing when to trust his heart and not his eyes. But now the budding panic ebbed away, he also realised that what he had just seen would be exactly what everyone else would see.

Squall was dead. At Seifer's hands.

As if in affirmation, he heard the clicking sounds of malfunctioning weapons in the background. Looking up, he saw several soldiers and a SeeD approaching the building. He was running out of time.

'They probably won't stop long enough to let me explain, will they?' Seifer commented sarcastically in the privacy of their shared consciousness.

'_Even if they do, they won't believe you.'_

Seifer sighed, understanding his Knight only too well. 'To them, I am now everything they've always feared I would be.'

'_I'm afraid so.'_

Seifer pursed his lips. Right now would be a really good time to leave.

* * *

A/N: There, (almost) done. Seems like an open ending? Don't worry. The epilogue will wraps things up nice and tight ;)

Please R&R, people! I love to know what you think, good or bad.


	25. Epilogue

Finally! Yes, I took my sweet time, but then this chapter is twice as long as the others.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Epilogue**

_Three years later…_

A hazy orange sun cast soft, pinkish rays on a luscious, flower covered meadow. It was quiet, quiet like someone had turned down the volume. No clouds, no birds; only a gentle, warm breeze that rustled the tall grass without a sound.

It was an unnatural environment; a painting rather than a place. And maybe it was. How else can you describe what lies between waking and dreaming? At first, Seifer had considered it a place between realities, but after having spent so much time here, he had come to believe that maybe this reality of the mind was the only true reality to begin with.

Being inside your mind felt like dreaming without being asleep. Everything he thought of hard enough manifested itself: never tangible in the physical sense, but undeniably real nonetheless. Manifestations of energy that were volatile and yet incredibly strong, so strong they could interact with each other. So strong they could _touch_.

And so, Seifer found himself lying here, in the grass of his own imagination, with the face of his astral body hanging just a few inches above Squall's.

Above them, the sky darkened to a warm purple. Squall cocked his head slightly when he noticed.

'What are you thinking of?' he asked.

Seifer refocused his attention, gently stroking a few wayward sprigs from Squall's hair. He knew he didn't need to explain. Sharing a single consciousness meant they always knew what the other thought or felt. Conversation was essentially unnecessary, but human habits die hard.

'A million things,' he answered eventually. 'And then some.'

'You're worried, aren't you?'

Seifer sighed. 'Yeah. It's been months. They could be here at any moment.'

'And you get tired of looking over your shoulder all the time.' Squall smiled compassionately. 'Don't worry. When they find us, we'll find somewhere else again.'

'That's what I'm afraid of. I _like_ it here.'

Squall reached up to wrap his arms around Seifer's neck. 'I know. So do I.' Then he lifted his head just enough to gingerly kiss Seifer's lips.

Eager to forget his worries, Seifer closed his eyes and leaned into the feeling. Every time it surprised him how much more intense Squall's kisses now were compared to anything he'd ever experienced with his physical body. Without skin and flesh in the way, every touch was like a miniature explosion of energy. Every contact, no matter how brief, ran into his core, into his soul. There was no way to describe that feeling: nothing in the world could compare to this.

Excited by the energy through him - and knowing that Squall felt exactly the same - Seifer kissed him back. True to his nature, it was a rough, passionate kiss that fired their profound bond even further with every new spark. Squall's form bucked forcefully against his, demanding more. Energy built up rapidly as they touched everywhere, stronger and faster. Within a fraction of a second, shapes were forgotten as their ecstasy exploded in a bright burst of pure white light.

The next moment Seifer was truly aware of, he pulled himself together into a more coherent shape. The mind likes clearly defined shapes. Ideas and thoughts may change often, but ideally all images should be clear-and-cut in between. Right next to him, Squall, too, looked like his old self again. Even the silent meadow had made way for a cushy king-sized bed on the Knight's initiative.

Seifer smirked. 'You like to get comfortable, don't you?'

Squall stretched lazily and turned on his side, supporting his head on his hand. 'Like you don't.'

'Ha, you know it!'

Squall smiled, and then crawled closer to steal another quick yet exhilarating kiss.

'Hmmm…' he mused, barely breaking contact. 'I love you, you know that?'

Seifer rose on one elbow and gently yet deliberately pushed Squall to his back. 'How could I not know…' he purred as he leaned closer.

But before he could renew their intimacy, a sharp shrieking noise penetrated the whole of his being. He resisted the shattering effect it had, trying in vain to keep the fragile moment from falling apart like broken glass. Only Squall's prompting, which interlaced the myriad of images that was his unfocussed mind, finally convinced him to give in.

The way back was as cold and dark as always.

* * *

It took seemingly incredible effort to get his body to respond. It felt cold, heavy, and all his muscles and nerves were numbed. He cursed silently. Apparently he'd been 'inside' for too long. Again. Squall had warned him often enough that while their time so close together was wonderful, his body still needed his soul if it was to survive.

Seifer had wondered more than once if he would really mind if one day it didn't.

His vision was blurry when he first opened his eyes, but his ears were already aching from the familiar hysterical shrieking coming down on his ears. He also became faintly aware of tiny hands pulling at his arms and clothes.

"Yeah, I'm up, I'm up," he muttered as his eyes focussed on two little green creatures staring bewilderedly up at him with big yellow eyes.

When they saw that they finally managed to wake him, the two tonberries began to gesture feverishly at the door, screaming excitedly.

As his physical brain finally kicked into gear, Seifer frowned. Tonberries were resilient and curious creatures. It took something _really_ hefty to get them worked up like this. So he hoisted himself to his feet and stumbled the first few steps to the door. The circulation to his legs was coming back again by the time he made it to the balcony outside.

The upper balcony of the large tower that dominated the Centran ruins gave a wonderful view for miles around. From up here, you could see well beyond the trees and bushes that grew near the ruins. It was one of the reasons why he'd fallen in love with this place. On a clear day, you could even see the green hills of the Centran plains stretching all the way to the horizon.

But not today. Today, the wide view was obstructed by a massive grey structure that hovered on an inverted halo just outside the ruins.

"Fuck!"

The two tonberries, in their own squeaky language, agreed wholeheartedly. They were smart creatures with a good memory. They knew what that vessel was, and that it wasn't welcome.

Seifer uttered a long string of curses, which mostly consisted of a list of unpleasant places where a specific Headmistress should go stick herself and ended with an adamant "…I'm not giving in this time!". Seething with rage, he raced down the many stairs to the foot of the tower and onto the central courtyard, ready to show the intruders he wasn't going to run and hide anymore.

But one look at the courtyard broke that train of thought. The court by the old fountain was crowded, but not with humans. To his surprise, he found that the entire tonberry clan had assembled out here. Not just the adult fighters, but the females and their young as well. And all of them equally agitated. Confused by this unusual state of affairs, Seifer turned to the leader of the clan.

"What's everyone doing out here?" he asked the tonberry with the tiny crown on its head.

Squeaking defiantly, the Tonberry King pointed sharply at the top of Garden just visible above the trees, and then at the gathered tonberries. With a final sharp shriek, it thrust its knife up into the air. The gesture was mimicked by his clan and confirmed with an ear-piercing, unified shriek.

Seifer smiled despite his anger. "I appreciate that," he said to them in all honesty. "But I really think it's best you all keep out of sight for now. I've got no idea how many soldiers they'll send after this time, but in any case it's going to be one hell of a fight, and I don't want any of you caught in the middle."

The Tonberry King observed him for a while, probing Seifer's intentions as tonberries do. It had proved a useful way of communicating with his neighbours, especially since the magic amplified his intentions so strongly it had to look like neon-signs to them. This time was no different. Recognising the violence and carnage that Seifer's mental billboard was advertising for the upcoming battle, the Tonberry King nodded and began to squeak several shrill commands. Immediately, the gathered tonberries dispersed and disappeared. Less than thirty seconds later, the courtyard was empty and only a handful of watchful eyes glowed in the shadows.

Now all he could do was wait. Seifer _hated_ waiting. But he had to. Sure he was one of the most powerful Sorcerers ever, and sure he could run circles around most armies. But he hadn't forgotten the purpose of SeeD. Ultimecia had been tough as nails and very resourceful, but they had cleaned out her clock all the same. So he wasn't going to fight them on their turf. Let them come to him. And if they were really that desperate to take a shot at him, then he'd be ready for them.

Time passed. Then a flock of birds scrambled in alarm from the trees below. Someone was coming…

Seifer actively tapped into his magic, keeping it so closely at hand that his fingers literally sparked when they touched. In his mind, Squall was getting ready, too. Seifer could feel his Knight settle into his usual combat position, which was much like the guy-in-back in a combat machine. Countless sparring sessions with the tonberries and an equal amount of fights with various others monsters had proved that like many things, a Sorcerer's combat abilities improve with teamwork.

The birds had begun to sing again by the time Seifer could hear footsteps echoing below on the path leading up to the ruins. The noise level surprised him. Either this was a very large group of SeeD moving very quietly, or…

'_Sounds more like just a handful of people _not_ being very quiet_,' Squall concluded.

'Could be a ruse.'

'_Doesn't feel like one.'_

Seifer remembered the scrambling birds. SeeD knew better than to give away their position like that. 'Maybe,' he conceded reluctantly.

The tension in his body shot up another notch when the sound of the footsteps changed from shoes-on-stone to shoes-on-wood. Whoever was coming was now climbing up the Blue Heaven stairway. Energy crackled as he clenched his fists and held his breath. Seconds ticked away.

And then he had a visual. Surprisingly, it wasn't the barrel of a gun, and it wasn't a Guardian Force charging. It was the figure of a woman. Even across the distance, Seifer instantly recognised her. His lips curled into a snarl at the sight of the familiar stern face and the corresponding blonde bun. It was very tempting to blast her where she stood, but as she reached to top of the stairs, Squall pointed out something crucial:

'_Hold on! She's not armed! The belt loop where she carries her whip is empty.'_

Seifer reluctantly acknowledged this, but wasn't about to jump to conclusions. Quistis Trepe's Blue Magic was bad enough in itself. One aura stone was enough to ensure one hell of an 'unarmed' fight. He glared at her. However, while she looked his way, she didn't approach. Instead, she stepped aside and helped two other people up the last few steps.

This time, Seifer gawked.

"Matron?!"

His blurted exclamation drew the immediate attention of Cid and Edea Kramer, who had appeared beside Quistis. Edea's face broke into a bright smile the moment she spotted him. Without waiting for either of the others, she broke into a run.

Seifer caught her when she all but ran into him, and gave her a fierce hug. It had been three years since he'd last touched another person. Suddenly he realised that while his soul may not have been lonely, his body had been craving attention. And now it didn't want to let go.

It wasn't until Cid came to join them that Seifer forced himself to give Edea some room to breath.

"Hello, my boy," the old man greeted him warmly.

"Uncle Cid… Matron…" Seifer could not help but smile. "You've got no idea how good it is to see you again!"

Edea looked up with tears in her eyes as she gently stroked his face. "Or to see you! And in good health, too!" She embraced him one more time. "When we heard what happened in Esthar, we feared the worst. Without Squall… Oh, dear, I was so worried."

Seifer returned her embrace so readily he didn't think twice about what she said until Squall brought it to his attention with a proverbial clearing of the throat.

"Ah, yes, well…," he began, pursing his lips in thought. "You see, what happened that night wasn't entirely what it looked like. Squall is indeed dead, but not exactly gone."

Cid gave him a quizzical look. "What do you mean? We saw his body and…"

But Seifer tapped his head. "Dead, he could protect me much better than alive."

There was a momentary silence. Then Edea's eyes grew wider and she clasped her hands over her mouth.

"Wha… You mean, you… you did…?" she stammered.

Seifer shrugged nonchalantly. "Turns out that's what junctioning is for."

For a moment, the Kramers were stupefied. Then Cid began to laugh.

"Amazing! Truly amazing! I had no idea that was possible!"

"Neither did I, until I was already half-dead," Seifer replied deadpan. "I'm glad Squall worked it out when he did. Half a minute more and he needn't have bothered."

Edea smiled a somewhat bitter smile, but then hid behind her hands and glanced over her shoulder at Quistis, who was still standing by the stairs.

"Squall was buried with all due ceremony," she said. "It's been a very hard loss to his friends. For them to hear about this… I think it is best not to tell them about your, well, highly unusual bond."

Seifer frowned and crossed his arms. "I can be sympathetic with their loss. No problem there. But fact is that Squall's my Knight, and that we're junctioned so closely that he can actually co-pilot my body. If I can't tell Garden that, how else can I convince them that I won't go rogue?"

Cid nodded gravely. "Quite an essential point. One I don't have an answer to, I'm afraid."

"Hmmm, there may be a way," Squall said, using Seifer's voice. The transition between him and Seifer appeared to have gone unnoticed to Cid and Edea, but he didn't see the point of informing them. Instead, he continued his reasoning. "I know Xu. She is stubborn and prejudiced toward Seifer. She will probably not want to listen to anything concerning him. But she will listen to Quistis. And Quistis is smart enough to understand the situation if it is explained understandably."

Cid arched a brow for a moment. Then he shook his head. "You have a valid point there, Squall"

Squall was genuinely surprised at the old man's quick observation. "You can tell?"

"It's the syntax."

Squall smiled. "Ah, yes. There _is_ that."

"But your plan will not need to be as complex as you suggested," Cid continued, completely serious now. "You see, Xu isn't in charge of Garden anymore."

"What? How come?"

Cid eyed him solemnly over the rim of his glasses. "She… she died in a car crash a few months ago. Quistis has taken over her position since." He looked over his shoulder at where Quistis stood. "She's doing well, but it's been a hard time for her. Xu was a dear friend of hers, and a close companion since you… ehm, well, since you _physically_ died."

Squall felt himself go cold, and he was grateful for Seifer's soothing presence wrapping around him. Perhaps Xu had not been a friend him as such, yet they'd been closer than mere colleagues. She had made life Hell for both him and Seifer for the last years, but that had never been reason to wish her dead. Well, _he _hadn't, at any rate.

"I understand…" he managed at last. "Xu would just send in the guns, but Quistis wants to talk. That explains why she took the risk of coming here unarmed."

Edea fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve. "Unarmed, yes. Taking a risk, no." She bit her lip. "I don't think I was supposed to know, but I overheard her giving orders to a sniper team."

"Aaaaand so much for the vote of confidence," Seifer growled the instant he took back control. "I _knew_ there was a catch when it was just the three of you coming up the stairs instead of a heavily armed special op assault force!"

"Yes," Cid smirked, "a distinct difference in syntax indeed."

"My compliments," Seifer retorted, putting on a posh accent. "So far the only ones who ever noticed _and_ could tell us apart were the tonberries."

Cid and Edea stared at him in disbelief. "Tonberries?"

"Yup. They can look inside your mind. Don't know how, but they can. That's where their 'Everyone's Grudge' attack comes from." He glanced over at Quistis. She noticed and nodded politely. "So what's her agenda anyway?"

"Agenda?" Edea frowned nervously. "She didn't mention, really."

Seifer tilted his head to catch his matron's eye. "She takes you to visit an armed and dangerous bastard, and she didn't brief you at all? I find that kind of hard to believe, Matron, if you don't mind me saying so."

Edea blushed fiercely and looked at her husband for support.

"Of course she has an agenda," Cid admitted, "but not necessarily a bad one. We wouldn't have agreed to help break the ice if we didn't believe her intentions have merit."

Seifer glared. "She believed that Esthar's ideas of sealing me up in a cryo-seal had merit," he stated darkly. "Excuse me if I don't set much score by her good intentions." He glanced suspiciously at Quistis again, and was unpleasantly surprised to find that this time her reaction was to cross the courtyard and join them.

"Instructor," he greeted coldly as she stepped into the space Cid and Edea made for her.

She bowed lightly. "Hello, Seifer."

There was an uneasy silence. Quistis was nervous, he noticed. She held her hands folded like a timid schoolgirl and eyed him like she wasn't sure how to start a conversation without him torching her on the spot. Her face showed more lines and wrinkles, too, as if she had age a decade a year. He eyed her intently. This woman was at least indirectly responsible for many of the misfortunes in his life. But she was also his sister, and as she stood before him now, despite his anger and resentment all he could feel for her was pity.

"I'm sorry to hear about Xu," he said evenly.

For a moment she looked surprised at his choice of conversation, but then she huffed in contempt. "You hated her," she bit.

Seifer nodded. "Yeah, I did. But _you_ didn't. And I'm truly sorry for your loss."

She looked away to regain her composure. Apparently, talking about Xu was still painful to her. She swallowed, but then looked him in the eye again.

"It's been hard," she said, "running two Gardens without her. And without Squall."

Those last words were a clear accusation, one he found hard to ignore.

"No matter what you believe, I didn't kill him."

She glared at him as if staring him down would make the truth reveal itself in his eyes. Taking up that challenge, he just stared back.

"You're right," she finally said. "I _don't_ believe you. But Cid and Edea were determined to do so. I've always trusted them, and if they still believe in your innocence," she glanced at her foster parents, who nodded, "then I am prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt."

Seifer sized her up. "Benefit of the doubt?" he repeated with biting sarcasm.

Quistis straightened like a cat bristling its back, but at that moment Seifer looked away at Squall's pressing request, standing down to avoid the otherwise imminent fight.

'_She's come with a white flag, Seifer. Don't let your pride ruin this.'_

'Easy for you to say,' he growled in the privacy of his mind. He was rapidly losing control over his anger. His eyes flared briefly in response to the rising emotions, but he flinched as Squall forcefully checked the rallying magic. 'Fine! You sort this out, then!' he screamed mentally as he retreated to rage out the storm in his soul.

On the outside, his contorted face could easily be attributed to confusion. When Seifer's body straightened again, the switch initially went unnoticed by all but Cid.

"This is a bit unexpected, to say the least," Squall told Quistis firmly, but without Seifer's highly emotional undertones. "You've hunted u--me for three years, forcing me into exile like a rabid dog. For _three years_. That's a long time, Quistis. What made you change your mind?"

Quistis looked a bit taken aback. Apparently she had noticed his change of demeanour, but couldn't quite put her finger on it. Doing what she had always done best in such situations, she drew herself up and hid behind professionalism.

"What changed? Everything, really. The situation is completely different, most notably because of…" Her mask faltered again.

"Xu's death?" he finished for her.

She nodded and recomposed herself. "Esthar gave up quite quickly," she explained. "They preferred to commission the chase to SeeD, and they paid Garden handsomely for continuous services. But to Xu, it was also personal. You had betrayed Garden for the second time, while she had allowed you back in. She hadn't noticed Rinoa's instability until it was too late, and then you escaped her, too. Since she was Headmistress, she considered all that to be personal failures. Failures she wanted to correct at all costs."

"I see…"

"Xu always took her responsibilities very personal," Cid added softly. "It made her vulnerable, perhaps, but it also made her a damn good Headmistress."

Quistis nodded in agreement. "And that she was, until the responsibility became an obsession and she lost sight of almost everything else."

Squall began to understand how it had been possible that a conscientious and alert person like Xu could crash and burn the way she had. Obsession bordered too closely to insanity. He kept the observation to himself, although he was sure Quistis and the others had come to the same conclusion at some point.

But there was more to this. "Isn't Garden still under contract with Esthar to continued the hunt?" he asked.

Quistis shook her head. "No. Lagu… President Loire withdrew the contract over a year ago. His councillors didn't agree. They wanted to go on, but he put his foot down."

"He didn't want revenge?" Squall asked, for Seifer's sake more than his own. Personally, he had long since discovered that Laguna wasn't the vengeful type. Seifer, on the other hand, was convinced that _everyone_ was the vengeful type.

But Quistis shook her head again. "No, he didn't. He said capturing or killing you wasn't going to bring Squall back. And that it wasn't going to solve our problems, either."

Squall smirked, hoping it was enough like Seifer's to be credible. "We could've told you that even before that night in Esthar, you know."

Against his expectations, though, Quistis seemed to turn in on herself. She wrapped her arms around her chest in a way that gave Squall the uneasy feeling that things had gone terribly wrong at the hunters' end of the chase.

"In hindsight, yes, maybe you could have," she said. "But I don't think we would have believed you, no matter how right you would have been. Who we _should_ have believed, though, was Dr Odine…"

Edea gently put her arm around her daughter's shoulders. "Please don't blame yourself, Quistis. Multiple Sorceresses are an uncharted field, even for Dr Odine. No one could know if what he said was right or wrong."

Squall frowned. "What did he say, then?"

Quistis looked at him. "He said that most multiple Sorceresses go rogue and are destroyed by their magic in a matter of days or weeks, regardless of whether they have a Knight or not. And that their death doesn't necessarily mean that their magic splits up to find separate hosts."

"True and true."

She nodded. "I was afraid so. And capturing you also posed a serious problem. Being sealed up had made Adel a time bomb with an invisible timer. It was impossible to tell what a cryo-seal would do to someone three times her strength."

"I'm glad you figured that out before putting it into practice." The sarcasm was his, but hearing it said with Seifer's voice gave it an extra cutting edge.

But Quistis ignored the comment. "In the end," she sighed, "Dr Odine advised both Esthar and Garden to make a truce with a Sorceress like that. There were too many variables, making it too dangerous not to."

Squall was beginning to get a good idea of what had happened. "Let me guess: despite the warning, Kiros and Xu weren't going to 'take that risk'?"

"Indeed. And so we ended up chasing you all over the globe until Laguna quit and Xu died. Three years…" She sighed. "I'm not proud of that, Seifer. Of none of it."

Squall looked away, making it seem he was considering what she had said while mentally testing Seifer's mood. To his mild surprise, his Sorcerer had already calmed considerably. This time, Edea, too, caught on to the shift as it happened.

"Apology accepted," Seifer finally replied. "To be honest, I'd probably done the same if I'd been in your shoes. It sucks, but what's done is done." He put his hands on his hips. "The million gill question, however, is 'What now?'"

Quistis shifted her weight from one leg to the other. "Now that circumstances put me in charge, I have been able to convince the Garden staff that following up on Dr Odine's advice is really for the best." She left a tentative pause. "Of course not everyone agreed, but in light of funding for the chase having dried up, we've got little choice."

Seifer eyed her warily. "Meaning?"

"Meaning that we will stop chasing you," Quistis confirmed. "We will help you settle somewhere safe, for you and for others. But we will need to monitor you continuously."

Seifer gave her feral grin. "If by monitoring you mean having those snipers lining up their crosshairs on me 24/7, then I'm out."

The expression became slightly anxious as she stopped herself from glancing over her shoulders and the bushes lining the courtyard. Then she licked her lips.

"I'm afraid it does. Or at least something similar." She saw his expression darken. "However, if you have another, _acceptable_ suggestion…"

Diplomacy was looming on the horizon of this conversation, so Squall immediately stepped up to assist.

"Let me at least live here," he suggested as Seifer retreated.

Quistis frowned. "Here? In the ruins?"

"Yes. I've spent some time to make the place habitable since I landed here a few months ago. It's far from other people. And tonberries make quite good neighbours, actually."

She arched a brow.

Squall shrugged. "Apparently Odin practically terrorised them, so they were more than happy to welcome the one who killed him."

Quistis arched both brows now, but then nodded. "Okay, I can live with that. I take it you get your supplies by teleporting?"

"Your spies told you that?"

"How else could you have been sighted on three different continents in the span of one hour?"

"All I can say is that space-time bending becomes easier with practice. And I've got a lot of practice with you guys chasing me all over the globe. No, getting supplies won't be a problem." He cocked his head. "Not having to steal the money to pay for it would be an improvement, though," he added quickly.

Quistis smirked faintly. "I'll consider that," she replied.

"And as for the monitoring, I've got a suggestion. I don't think you'll like it, but please give it serious consideration nonetheless."

"Let's hear it then."

He took a deep breath. "Add me to Garden's training curriculum."

Quistis' jaw dropped. "What?! I can't do that!"

But Cid and Edea quickly understood Squall's intention.

"That's a wonderful idea!" Cid exclaimed in his usual enthusiasm. "Think of the possibilities, Quistis. Combat demonstrations, sparring sessions, field tests, the lot! Seifer has a lot of experience in all those fields. Besides, SeeD were meant to fight Sorceresses. What better preparation than to train against a real one?"

A variety of expressions crossed Quistis' face in quick succession. A few times she appeared to open her mouth to argue, but every time she stopped herself. Cid had a good point, but so did she. Pro's and con's, fear, frustration, indecision and determination alternated as she turned away, turned back, stepped away again, and finally ended up staring out at the horizon beyond the trees. For the longest time, no one spoke, until it was finally her voice that broke the silence.

"Seifer?" she called softly, without taking her eyes off the horizon. "When Dr Odine told us about the volatility of multiple sorceresses, he said that he had explained the same thing to Squall and you, not long before that battle."

Behind golden eyes, Seifer stepped up to answer. "Yeah, he did. So?"

"So why didn't you die on that rooftop?"

He snorted irritably. "Well, sorry to disappoint you, Instructor."

"Nonono, I'm being serious," she said quickly as she turned to face him. "You looked like you were being torn to shreds. I thought, we _all_ thought, that you were going to die there. That the magic was killing you like Dr Odine said it would. But then suddenly it stopped, and then you got up, very much alive, while Squall…" She looked deeply into his eyes. "What truly happened there, Seifer? Why didn't you die there?"

"Are you sure you _really_ want to know?"

"Yes."

So he told her.

* * *

The sun was already setting by the time Seifer got back to his room at the top of the tower.

'_I think she took that pretty well,"_ Squall commented.

'I didn't think she'd actually believe it,' Seifer replied as he poured himself a drink. 'I know I probably wouldn't have if I'd been in her position.'

'_Quistis isn't an unreasonable person. Strict, yes, and perhaps not easily convinced. But never unreasonable._'

'Yeah, well, I'm glad you were there to smooth things over, because she just gets on my nerves.'

Cradling a glass of cheap red wine, snatched from a Deling liquor store some time ago, Seifer sat down on the balcony to enjoy the sunset. It was a beautiful evening. The sky was orange and pink, with the first hints of nighttime purple here and there. Down below, Balamb Garden looked as if it had been set on fire. Yesterday, he would have been happy to realise that simile. But a lot had changed over the last few hours.

'Think she'll be able to convince the Garden Staff of that plan of yours?' he ventured.

'_Don't know. I know she's in favour, though. Otherwise she wouldn't have agreed to even discuss it with them'._ There was a laden feeling, one Seifer had come to associate with Squall getting lost in thought. _'Do you _mind_ that I made that suggestion?'_

'No. You know I don't.'

'_You're a bit hesitant about it, though.'_

Seifer chuckled. 'Of course I am! If Garden agrees, I'll be training my own potential killers from now on. And we both know training SeeD isn't always harmless.' He rubbed the fading scar on his brow. 'Chances are several of those students will take a serious swing at me. And only one needs to get lucky…'

There was a sense of shame about Squall now. _'I'm sorry. I think I may have been too preoccupied with getting you out of life as a recluse.'_

'And that is much appreciated, believe me!' He took a sip of his wine and listened to the distant chirping sounds of the tonberries playing elsewhere in the ruins. 'I've lived all my life knowing that as a mercenary, I probably wouldn't live long enough to grow old. And in a way it's a good thing if I help train SeeD cadets, because one day, a bullet, a blade, or just plain old age is going to kill me.'

'_And then Garden will be ready for whoever the new host or hosts are.'_

'Exactly! So, it's a useful job.' He grinned behind his glass. 'And of course I get to fight.'

Squall laughed. _'You're incorrigible!'_

'Ha! You ain't seen incorrigible yet,' Seifer replied while laughing out loud. 'How about getting reacquainted with other human beings?'

'_Seifer, why are there images of bars appearing in your mind all of a sudden?'_

'Because, as you may recall, Matron said Irvine resigned and is running a bar together with Fuu and Raijin these days. Somewhere in Dollet, she said.'

Squall smirked._ 'And you want to pay them a visit.'_

'No, I think we _owe_ them a visit,' Seifer said sincerely. 'And a 'thank you'. I think it's safe to say that without either of them, things would've worked out very differently.'

'_A lot messier.'_

'My point exactly.'

The sun slow sank beyond the horizon. Seifer smiled as Squall reached out to him. Yes, he sometimes missed the physical touch of his lover, but what he received in return went so far beyond that…

Leaning back against the wall, he closed his eyes and let his consciousness drift to meet Squall on the astral reality of his mind. Once he regained focus, he found himself standing besides a mountain brook that came cascading down the grassy slope. The sky was clear, the white-capped mountains loomed in the distance and it was warm despite the patches of snow on the ground. Seifer smiled. Trabia in the springtime was one of Squall's favourites.

Next to him, Squall manifested himself in one of Seifer's favourites: nothing more than black leather pants and the cross sword pendant around his neck. Seifer smirked appreciatively and took a moment to enjoy the view.

'Ironic, isn't it?' Squall mused as his fingers played coyly with the pendant. "I got this because I missed you, and wanted to feel closer to you.'

'Is that so?' Seifer rumbled in a voice as he pulled Squall into his arms. 'They say you should be careful what you wish for,' he teased, nuzzling Squall's neck. 'This close enough for you?'

Squall chuckled. 'Almost,' he whispered. Then he took Seifer's face in his hands and kissed him, long and deep.

Seconds later, there was the bright, searing flash of a single white light.

* * *

Thanks for reading, people. I hope you all enjoyed the story! Please leave a review and let me know what you think.

And a big thank you to LadyTwist for sticking with me as my beta-reader all the way to the end!


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